We were living in Dogfart’s Secret Mansion when The Producer called us into his room. He had an idea for a brand new website, and he wanted our feedback.

It was me, S.S., and Dogfart. Justin Timberlakefeelsyourpain was rarely involved in meetings like this.

“I just bought the domain gloryhole.com,” The Producer said. “It costs me a lot of money, but I think I’ve really got something here. How do you guys feel about shooting gloryhole scenes?”

I knew a thing or two about gloryholes. I know I blogged this once…when I was studying in college, and I needed to make a poopie, and I was at the University Library, and I usually don’t drop a duece away from my house, but I thought I was gonna make boom boom in my pants, so I went ahead and went, and when I jumped into the stall, there were holes drilled into the wall, and I thought what the fuck is this? cause I had no idea what those holes were in the stall for, and I made boom boom and left and never thought about it again.

That was 1984.

It’s 2003, and The Producer wants my input on Gloryholes?

Hell no I’m not shooting gay content. I told this to the producer, straight up.

But The Producer has a new twist on things. He wants to take something very very gay and make it straight. Well, as straight as something like a gloryhole can be. “Now listen: I have some privy information on a gloryhole location. Shit, we got the girls here. Put them in the van, drive them to the hole, and let’s give them some more money to make.”

Did it matter that most of these places are in shitty neighborhoods? Or that they’re gross and filthy and dirty?

The Producer drove us up to – of all places – Oxnard California, the location of some of our earliest gloryole scenes.

Not when you’re paying the girls beyond their rate to blow an anonymous dick. And guess what? Not in the history of HIV has there been one documented case of HIV transmission via a BJ.

I’m 100% serious. Go look it up yourself.

So there you have it. Something I would have never thought of turns into a website. This is why I’m not a wealthy porno producer, and just a simpleton camera man. But things may change soon…

Anyway, here’s some fun gloryhole galleries, with commentary from the very dude who shot them! Fun!!

(Oh, by the way…I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned that I’ve shot every single one of the nearly 150 gloryhole scenes. Some of them Dogfart helped me with, but for the last year or so, I’ve been flying solo…with the exception of a lookout or two…cops are no fun!)

Ouch. My arm hurts from patting myself on the back here. So I’ll quit and show you some “Ghole” madness.

1) Mariah Cherry. In the biz one day, out the next. I think she hailed from the Bay Area…ah! Beautiful San Francisco, land of many, many gloryholes I’m sure. Mariah was cool. I think I was second camera for a Blacks on Blondes shoot with her in it, but now I don’t remember. I do think she had one of the all-time great porno names…and that’s saying a lot.

2) Brittney Madison. RIP. Poor girl…it made me so sad to hear her friend drove off a cliff near Vegas, her hometown. I mean, is it totally tasteless so even show her now that she’s passed? I’d like to hear some comments on this. My take is she’s cool with it, cause she’s in Heaven now, where all porno girls go when they die. I’m fucking serious, too. They all go to Heaven.

3) I forget this kooky girl’s name, but boy, she was kooky. That’s kooky with a k.

4) Dasha! Now Lucious Lopez! She’s pretty popular now among porno geek-fans everywhere. I’m a porno geek fan, too…trust me. I am.

5) Sophie D. My honey. I really like Sophie. She’s such a sport. And she’s a geniune black cock slut. Don’t believe me? Just ask her sometime.

So there you have it…some gloryhole fun, just cause…um, just cause I can?