I Shoot Porn: So describe, in a somewhat detailed manner, what went down with your parents the other day.

Audrey Elson: For starters, I’d like to say that I love my parents…to death.

ISP: So that means daddy didn’t bang you when you were 12?

AE: Absolutely not.

ISP: That’s a common misconception…that all porno girls were a victim of sexual abuse as a child.

AE: I agree. I’m often asked that question. I had a fairly normal childhood. I grew up in the Midwest with my folks and my siblings, and we did things like family vacations and piano lessons. Pretty typical.

ISP: So continue with what went down.

AE: Right…so, this past weekend my father received a package in the mail from…well, I don’t know who. I have no idea.

ISP: Its contents?

AE: It was literally a big package of porn. My porn. Porn that I am in.

ISP: Continue.

AE: I’d like to add right now that whoever sent that package is an asshole and did a very mean, rotten thing.

ISP: It’s actually a very cowardly, selfish act. Totally juvenile and stupid. If they really cared about you, they would have driven over to your parent’s house and talked to them face-to-face.

AE: Anyways, there were DVD’s and photographs, as well as a listing of my IMDB titles that I appear in. The photographs were computer printouts and stills of me getting banged out like a motherfucker by all sorts of dudes…black, white. All sorts. Not to mention the bondage scene with Steven St. Croix that looked like I’m being raped. But I wasn’t, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Thoroughly.

ISP: Describe your father’s reaction to the pics from the Blacks on Blondes scene.

AE: My father reacted like any father would. He was absolutely horrified. Visibly shaken. If you can visualize someone on the other end of the phone.

ISP: And someone who’s like 6’5″ and about 300 pounds. Am I on a hit list now?

AE: Not for this.

ISP: What the fuck am I on the hit list for?

AE: Breaking my heart, you evil porn director.

ISP: Wait a second. I didn’t break your heart. You ended it with me.

AE: Bullshitsky my dear. Bullshitsky.

ISP: Anyways…what else did your dad do?

AE: I liked how you climbed out of that last one right there. I’ll save that for another time.

ISP: Anyways…what else did your dad do?

AE: OK fine! Lemme think here…(she thinks). He didn’t say much after the initial few sentences of his phone call. Speaking for him was my stepmother. She was screaming in the background.

ISP: I’m sorry. That’s really awful, and something that we have to deal with in our business. Not only from your end, but mine too, cause I feel like I’m part of your parent’s anguish…even though you came to me, got a job, and did exactly what you were hired to do.

AE: Exactly. There’s an enormous misconception in society that women in this business are forced to do things they don’t want to do. I’ve never done anything to earn a paycheck against my will. Porn is a well-paying job, a safe job, and has a community-feel amongst its workers. We all stick together. I’ve never worked a job where people have had that sort of comradery and understanding of each other.

ISP: I think that’s what PT Anderson caught so well at the end of Boogie Nights. When they were all at Jack’s house…functioning as a family.

AE: A lot of people in this business — because of what they do — have lost their essential family relationships and support. It’s no coincidence that people in our business get along well and end up having relationships and spending a lot of time together. Who better to understand the pain of living a double life in a…what’s the word I’m looking for?

ISP: Fucking stupid, judgmental, retarded, Republican World?

AE: You took the words right out of my mouth. Porn doesn’t hurt anyone. If anything, it helps people. But I’m not going to stand on a pedestal…but after all, it’s just porn.

ISP: So have you talked to your parents since it all went down?

AE: Sadly, no.

ISP: You have — or had — a good relationship with them, too.

AE: They’ll get over it. What choice does a parent have? I’ll be 23 this year. I’m a grown woman, and to quote Shorty Mac, you can’t tell me what to do cause I’m grown and I smoke cigarettes.

ISP: He does say that. May I add here that your rack is one of the very finest I’ve ever suckled?

AE: Yes you may.