Max Hardcore is a perverted motherfucker who is bad for my business. I’ve met the man once — briefly — at my studio about six months ago, and even though I can’t really speak accurately about his character, I’m gonna go ahead and call him a misogynistic piece of shit who hates women; furthermore, if you could jump into a Time Machine and transport yourself to Paul Little’s 8th grade dance, you’d see him, I’m quite sure, standing up against a wall, watching everyone else have fun.

If he even went to a dance in 8th grade.

Max was found guilty today of 10 federal counts of distributing obscene materials over the Internet and through the mail. His company Max World Entertainment was also found guilty on 10 related charges. George Bush’s Fucked-up Right Wing Posse even went as far to try and seize his home — but that’s where the court drew the line.

I wish Max would have dried up and gone out of business long ago, but that fact is, he didn’t. Which means he’s moving product. And if you don’t know about his product, it’s puking and pissing, mainly, and it’s girls puking…and getting pissed on, and Max likes to dress some of them up like they’re 12, and, in one instance that I know of, he even had the girl say she was 12 in his little porno skit.

Pardon the pun, please.

Anyways, that’s about the time the Feds said enough is enough, so they went after him on 2257 charges, as well obscenity charges. And frankly, I don’t blame them on the 2257 deal.

This is all rolling off the top of my head, so heads-up for any errors.

I just blogged about this obscenity shit a few days ago, and how easy it really is to define…but with Max Hardcore’s (temporary) defeat, I think I’ll continue my rant.

I’m pretty sure there’s some people who don’t really see much difference in the interracial sex movies I make and Max’s Puking Pissy flicks. They certainly don’t see Max as a “bad” guy and me as a “good” guy: we’re both cut from the same filthy cloth, and they think we’re both part of the Decline of Western Civilization.

Digression #1: I just scored a super sweet copy of Penelope Spheeris’s “Decline of Western Civilization”, and if you haven’t seen it, please do, but know that any copy you can buy now is a bootleg, but the one I scored was crystal clear, and my favorite part is when Billy Zoom declines John Doe’s offer for a really bad home made tat while they were sitting around a kitchen table with a pin and some India Ink…bravo Billy!

I’m no better than Max Hardcore in as much as we both make dirty movies.

Digression #2: I went to all my school dances, and I had a really good time, whether or not I took a date or went by myself, and once, in 9th grade, while I was at the dance with a girl named Sherry, I looked down to see — in complete and utter horror — that the fly to my pants had broken somehow, and my underpants were hanging out, and they were blue, silky underpants my mom had just bought for me, and they were kinda gay, but I worn them anyways cause no matter what my mom got me I’d appreciate and wear, no matter how gay the present…plus, No Way Am I Gay.

A lot of people hate Max, and me, and anyone else who makes porn, and they want to stomp the shit out of us for it, and they think that by stomping the shit out of us, the world will be a better place.

Silly rabbits. Tricks are for johns.

Digression #3: I buy Christopher Hitchen’s argument that religion is “violent, irrational, intolerant, allied to racism, tribalism, and bigotry, invested in ignorance and hostile to free inquiry, contemptuous of women and coercive toward children…” and the world would be a better place without any religion at all, which is not to say I don’t believe in God (which is to say I just blew out a double negative). And the only reason for this digression is the Right Wing Christian dopes, who, under George Bush’s reign, have fucked this country up almost to the point of no repair, cause they’re the ones who want to stomp the shit out of me and my kind.

There’s no reason to dress a girl up like she’s 12, shove a dick down her throat til she pukes, and then clean her up by pissing all over her.

I can think of a million reasons to pleasure yourself by watching interracial sex movies, a good, old-fashioned handjob movie, or a blowjob movie, or even an ass-munching flick.

Max Hardcore has every right to make his movies; I just wish people wouldn’t buy them.

I’m glad the government didn’t take his house.

And I sincerely hope he wins his appeal, because at that moment Freedom of Speech will win the day, and then — and only then — will our Constitution be worth a shit.