I Shoot Porn: So tell everyone how old you are and where you’re from.

Chayse Evans: I’m 21 and I’m from Pennsylvania and Baltimore.

ISP: Did you know John Waters is from Baltimore?

CE: I don’t even know who he is.

ISP: John Waters made one of the greatest movies ever — Pink Flamingos. Oh, and Female Trouble. How could I forget that one?

CE: I haven’t seen either.

ISP: You should. What did you want to be when you were growing up?

CE: A ballerina. Or an assassin.

ISP: Do you have it in you to kill someone?

CE: I probably do…if I knew I wouldn’t get caught.

ISP: Who would you want to kill?

CE: My cousin. She slept with my ex-boyfriend. I was still in love with him. (She starts looking for something.) I want my sandwich. Where did I put it? (And then she finds it.)

ISP: What kind of yummy sandwich is that?

CE: A ham and cheese croissant.

ISP: If I was at your house right now and looked in your fridge, what would I find?

CE: I have a very huge, cheap bottle of red wine. The kind with a screw-on cap. Four bottles of water. Some Lean Cuisine Pannini sandwiches. They come in all sorts of flavors! Some herb butter, and that’s about it, dude! I love to eat!!

ISP: If I took you out to dinner, where would we go?

CE: Sushi. It’s my favorite food.

ISP: Funny thing about porn girls is they all love sushi. What’s up with that?

CE: Maybe there’s some sort of aphrodisiac in sushi.

ISP: Are you always horny?

CE: If I don’t work, I start having the shakes. I go through dick withdrawal.

ISP: Please elaborate.

CE: I have to inject my medicine in me.

ISP: Please elaborate.

CE: Penetration is the only treatment.

ISP: Once penetrated, how do you feel?

CE: Nirvana. Absolute state of Zen.

ISP: Did you like Nirvana?

CE: Yea, I like that song (and she starts singing):

My girl, my girl, don’t lie to me,
Tell me where did you sleep last night.
In the pines, in the pines,
Where the sun don’t ever shine.
I would shiver the whole night through.

ISP: Hey, you can sing!

CE: Wanna hear some Stevie Ray Vaughn?

(Since I don’t know any Stevie Ray songs, I have no idea what she’s singing, but she’s fucking good, and now I have a boner, cause girls who can sing have that kind of an effect on me.)

ISP: Have you always been a singer?

CE: Yea, I used to sing (and then Chayse goes right into song again) When the moon hits the sky like a big pizza pie… to my mom and she would always go, LOUDER! LOUDER!

(This is where my make-up artist chimes in.)

The Make-up Artist: That’s my secret fantasy. To be a singer.

CE: My secret fantasy is to be a Princess from a foreign country. Maybe from (and she puts on a funny accent) Transylvania. I wanna be a Princess or a Vampire. I think they’re both really cool.

ISP: My secret fantasy is to be a lead guitarist. So how did you get into porn?

CE: I was a marine, and then I was a stripper, and now I’m a porn star. Before all that I was a waitress.

ISP: It’s funny how marines turn into porn stars. I know a lot of them.

CE: You know what we do? We get drunk and then we fuck people. And we’re cocky about it, cause we’re marines, and we like to show everyone what we can do.

ISP: Gotta myspace?

CE: I sure do! And I want everyone to be my friend!

ISP: Funny, me too. Everyone loves to be loved. So what’s the dumbest thing a director’s ever asked you to do?

The Make-up Artist: Get interviewed for this blog.

CE: Wear pig tails for a pig tail scene. I don’t like pig tails. I am not five years old.

ISP: I bet the director wished you were.

CE: You know those dudes producing that shit are closet pedos.

ISP: I agree. What’s something no one’s asked you before?

CE: No one’s really ever asked me what my tattoo means.

ISP: Where is this tat, and what’s it mean?

CE: It’s on my right shoulder, and it’s a snake skin and it represents The Serpent from The Bible that symbolizes original sin. And The Phoenix on my stomach symbolizes rebirth, cause every 500 years they light themselves on fire and then they rise from the ashes.

ISP: I just moved from Phoenix.

CE: The Black Widow on my wrist represents self-honesty. The Black Widow ties all three together. She was born with a natural instinct, cause we’re all born with original sin, to eat her mates. So she’ll always be alone until she learns to fight her natural instincts. So no matter what you do, cause of the innate qualities within each of us…we can always overcome it. Hence, we can rise from our own ashes.

ISP: Wow. That’s some deep shit.

CE: Hard. Hard and deep.

ISP: Which is how you’re about to get fucked for the World’s Greatest, Most Infamous Interracial website, Blacks on Blondes.

CE: Well I better, or I’m gonna be pissed!

[Note from Billy: We just wrapped her Blacks on Blondes scene, and I think this should nominate each and every one of us for some sort of an award: Chayse, cause I’ve never seen a girl get pounded likke that; the 5 dudes who gang banged her, cause I’ve never seen a girl get pounded like that; and lil’ ol’ me, cause no matter what any of you silly motherfuckers say, I SHOOT PORN.]