My past work week. Feel free to compare it to yours. I’m sure you won’t see much that’s different.
Monday: Spend 6 hours in the car, travelling to my work location, and dealing with porno biz – mostly two shoots from my newest site, Eat Some Ass. I hired out the cameraman, but still…talent’s really late. So late I’m thinking it’s a no-show, so I’m dialing around to replace her, but she shows – over two hours late. Then unload equipment into studio. Kinda sucks, cause it’s only me, and the studio’s on the second floor, and there’s a fair amount of gear. I’m tried and kinda grumpy and just want to crash.
Tuesday: Two scenes today. Page Morgan, a fairly new starlet, will be featured in both. I think I told you I liked Page when I met her cause she’s really the typical white trash porn girl, and she has a tat on her arm that says “The Clash” and some of the lyrice from one of their songs. That’s worth a job, right? Actually, two jobs: Blacks On Blondes and the Erin Moore alter-ego site Ruth Blackwell. I had Page dress like a snowbunny, cause the black male talent called her just that – a snowbunny. And I had no idea what a snowbunny was…
“What’s a snowbunny dude?”
“That’s what the black girls called the white girls in middle school and in high school. Like, I’d ask my black girlfriend to do something sexy for me, and she’d say something like ‘go find a snowbunny to do that for you!'”
“So a snowbunny is a black girl’s term for a white slut?”
“Exactly bro.”
I shoot my scenes, grab some dinner (alone) and head back to the studio (alone) and crash, cause I’m tired and kinda grumpy.
Wednesday: Phoebe’s back, this time for the Erin Moore alter-ego site Ruth Blackwell; after we wrap, we jump in the van and head to my favorite seedy adult bookshop for a Gloryhole scene. I’m excited cause some filthy perv’s drilled an ARM HOLE in the wall, so now they can fondle as well as get sucked off…like getting sucked off wasn’t enough.
Phoebe stuck around and got some jizz on her glasses, too. Actually, it went everywhere, including her glasses.
As I wrap from that, Delilah Strong calls. She’s hurting, both physcially and metaphorically. She has no money, and some big-dicked MoFo drilled her in the cakes so hard recently, she broke her butthole. It hurt so much (and I won’t talk about it bleeding cause that’s kinda gross) that she finally went to the doctor…and doctor’s orders: no more sex of any kind until your bunghole is all healed up.
Delilah: “Do you have anything I can do that doesn’t require getting fucked?”
Of course I do, my love.
Delilah: “Can I come over and do it now?”
Of course you can, my love.
The result: a ManoJob and oh, guess what? She got some jizz on her glasses, too.
Then I rush off to the airport to pick up Spring Thomas. From there I rush to one of my very favorite restaurants in LA: House of Pies. MMMMMMmmmmm. House of Pies. I was a good boy, though, cause I’m trying to lose a couple pounds…so I went with the Cobb Salad. And a slice of strawberry pie.
Since it’s a fruit-based pie, it’s good for me, right?
Then I drive ST around town cause there’s some sort of fucked up convention in town, and all the hotels are booked. I finally find one. It’s midnight, I’m tired and kinda grumpy, so after ST checks into her room, I drive back to the studio and crash.
Thursday: ST’s in town. But somehow, I think you know this story already.
Afterwards, I was tired and grumpy, so I crashed.
Friday: Two more for Blacks on Blondes – Sandra Romaine in the morning, then Megan Jones for my afternoon scene. And I’m gonna be honest here when I tell you Chico Wang’s filthy mind has kinda of rubbed off on my own, so I’m starting to copy his multiple-pop thing in my scenes. That is to say, as my female talent fucks my male talent, out of nowhere I have 3 guys walk on the set and just blow a load in the girl’s face. No rhyme, no reason. I tell my load dumpers to just step up to the plate and unload whenever they please. Then, they are free to leave. Which isn’t exactly what Chico does, but it’s close enough to say I’m stealing his idea. Add a few cuckolds in the mix, and I’m thinking the members at Blacks on Blondes should stay happy…and no, Chico doesn’t use cuckolds, so I guess that makes me kinda original, right?
I’d like to say right now that Sandra Romain is one of the craziest, wildest chicks I’ve ever shot. Why not throw in that Megan Jones shows up with her period in tow, so we had to improvise on ways to clog that up…she went with something she called “inserts” but they didn’t work, so I showed her my make-up sponge trick. No more blood, and we’re golden.
Later, it’s dinner with Cherry Poppens, who lent me a hand throughout the day. Afterwards, we stopped at this newstand in West Hollywood and laughed at the gay magazines.
After saying bye to Cherry in the parking lot (peck on the cheek and a hug) I’m back up in the studio, to pack all my gear. And more editing. I mean it’s not a work day unless you clock at least 12 hours, right? Suddenly, I notice I’m tired and grumpy.
Saturday: Up at 7 to check on some FTP uploads and drag my gear down to my car. I’ll be home in 6 hours, unless I stop at the Bose outlet store near Palm Springs to blow some of the money I made this week.
Funny how blowing money makes me less grumpy.
