Lately I’ve been totally unenthusiastic about everything I Shoot Porn-ish. Could it be 600+ entries? Could it be I’m burnt out? Not just on blogging — but pretty much with work and porn and porn whores — both female and male.

I was gonna just pimp some of the scenes I’ve shot lately for various sites, but I think I’ll talk about Stan Brakhage for a second, cause he’s a film maker who made some really fucked up art films, and the reason I bring him up is cause a few weeks ago I bought a Criterion #184 which is nothing but Brakhage, and then I sat down and watched it this weekend — first, alone and under the influence of some particularly strong medicinal marijuana; the second time I was totally sober with a pal who appreciates weird, fucked up art house films, too.

Friday night — whilst stoned out of my gourd — I was so terrified and freaked out and, well, so stoned out of my gourd…I almost wept like a frightened, little girl.

Saturday night — whilst stone cold sober — I was somewhat bored and kinda fascinated and totally understanding as to my Friday night plight.

Brakhage wants to explore “birth, sex, death, and the search for God,” in his movies.

Billy Watson wants to explore absolutely nothing in his movies; instead, he makes movies for the sole purpose of a masturbatory aide for both men and women alike…although he understands 99% of his audience are dudes.

With that said, here we go:

Manojob — Alice White: In an attempt to find some fresh faces for my movies, I placed an ad on Craig’s List in “adult gigs”. I think it paid off, cause Alice White is really a college student behind on cash and she came to both Manojob and The Dick Suckers for some work. She gave herself a great facial for Manojob and swallowed for The Dick Suckers.

Blacks on Blondes — Naomi Cruise: Naomi’s a hot blonde, and she’s a slut for black cock, and today she’s out jumping rope as part of her exercise regimen when Shorty Mac creeps up on her. They talk about her long rope that came in a short package as a feeble metaphorical reference to Shorty himself, who stands about 5’3″ and is packing a ween that’s 8″ long and 8″ thick — just like a 40oz can o’ malt liquor, yo.

Barbie Cummings: Speaking of Shorty Mac, one of the very first times I shot him was with The Always Wonderful Miss Barbie Cummings, who desperately wants to have a black baby. She was so taken back by Shorty’s ween she called Miss Gia Paloma on to set, where they both marveled at it.

Candy Monroe: Recently Candy walked on to set in one of the most wonderfully ridiculous wigs I’ve ever seen on a porno set, which is Candy through and through. As you may (or may not) know, Candy like to humiliate white boys while servicing the black man. “What’s on tap for your cuckold today?” I asked her.

“I’m putting him in a cage and making him talk like a pirate,” she said.

“That’s probably never been done on a porno set before,” I said.

“Then, for the money shot, I’m gonna make him talk like the pirate’s parrot, and I’ll have Byron Long blow a fat load on a cracker, and I’ll make him eat it,” she said.

“That’s probably never been done on a porno set before,” I said.

“We’re gonna have so much fun today!” she shouted.

“I wonder if anyone’s gonna actually like this site,” I replied.

Cumbang — Baby Cakes: In addition to having a great Porno Name, Baby Cakes has one of the nicest all-natural racks I’ve ever seen on any girl — black or white. WOW! Can you imagine her black boyfriend would go on a Snowbunny hunt instead of staying home with her? Of course he gets caught, too, which is why Baby Cakes called me. You know the rest of this story.

Gloryhole — Aurora Snow: I coaxed Aurora into this scene for sure. She didn’t like the fact that she’d have to blow a stranger in a strange place. She worried about the risks involved with such non-sense. Risks that include STD’s and getting busted by the cops. I assured her I’d pay for her prescription of anti-biotics for the former, and up to $100 on the ticket for the latter. That’s all it took!

Eat Some Ass — Christine Michaels: Holy shit do I love Christine Michaels. Total girl next store, which is just about the dumbest, most over-used cliche I can think of right now. She’s got red hair, and yea, the carpet matches the drapes. I’d also like to add I could beat my monkey meat just to the sound of her sweet, sweet voice. I can’t believe I got her to eat some ass.

J.O.M.G. — Brooke Scott: Brooke’s a nerdy bookworm, and she knows the silly saying “boys don’t make passes at girls who wear glasses” is just that — silly. She’s got wonderful fun bags and a tasty vagina…it tastes a lot like chicken, as a matter of fact. But only the sweetest of white meat chicken, my friend.