He came packing heat, and I don’t mean in his pants.

Wait, let me back up.

I booked Kate Lynn the second I saw her pics. She’s the quintessential girl next door, and she really hadn’t made any dirty movies up to that point, so I was all over her. The agent told me she’d only fuck her dude, which worked fine for me. I mean I really don’t give a shit who the male talent is, as long as they have a hard dick and two balls full of goo.

Here’s a little secret: sometimes we lie about who the male talent is. Yea, we lie. It dirtys-up the whore a little bit if they’re fucking a stanger instead of their dude, so we usually say the dude is a “member” or “someone we found” somewhere. Like I said, as long as the dude can keep it up and spray her down with jizz, it doesn’t matter to me.

They showed up on a Tuesday afternoon, which has no significance to the story; however, the dude, who was about 5’4″ and weighed maybe 140 pounds, was carrying a firearm that was bigger than his left leg – which is significant.

Guns freak me out. I hate them. Nothing good ever happens when there’s a gun involved, and I really wish our Founding Fathers had the foresight to make the Second Amendment read something like “you must pass a general IQ test that establishes a score of 100 or higher in order to carry a firearm” cause most of the people who like guns – and tote them around – have the IQ of a rat…but a very smart rat: one of those science rats that get through the maze with tasty treats.

I held my hand out to shake his and said, “Um, I’m Billy, and I gotta ask you to keep that firearm in your car.” Then, I told him my feelings about guns…except the IQ part.

He wasn’t down. He agreed to take the gun off his hip, and Kate Lynn could keep it in her purse, but due to “creepy producers” he would not leave the gun in his car.

I totally respected that, and I told him so, and the gun went into Kate Lynn’s purse, and eventually the purse went in the closet. Did I mention it was a really big gun? And it was loaded? And it barely fit in Kate Lynn’s purse?

Me and Kate Lynn and the Dude ended up hitting it off just fine. We had to run up to the local sex shop, cause Kate Lynn’s got some tats, and while I like tats, I kinda don’t like tats in my movies. So we got her a body stocking, and that worked fine. The amateur sex movies turned out off the hook. Dude did a great job pounding Kate Lynn, and I gotta tell ya…when it works, couple’s sex works really well. They know each other, and if you don’t over-direct them – and just let them do what they do in their bedroom – the scenes usually end up kicking ass. Dude’s dick stayed hard, and his balls were very full; Kate Lynn needed a shower after it was all said and done.

They signed their paperwork, we said our goodbyes, and we laughed about the gun thing. I never really spoke them that after that. Once or twice, maybe, to get them some work on some of my other sites. And about six months after that, I saw Kate Lynn’s pic on a local Jack Shack’s website.

I wonder if she’s packing heat in her purse over there.