Six months ago I booked Hillary Scott for a Blacks on Blondes scene. She has the perfect look for that site; in other words, it’s a no-brainer.

She showed up on time – which has turned into a special treat for me. That’s right: “special treat”. I don’t think I’d ever have a job when, if someone shows up, they’d show up on time, and I’d actually refer to it as a special treat. But that’s part of this porno gig…when they show up, and show up on time, it’s a motherfuckin’ special treat.

“My pussy’s a little sore,” Hillary said, right after I introduced myself. “Do you think I could do all anal today?”

“Well, you know you’re working with BOZ The Animal?”

She knew.

“You know he’s packing about a foot of man meat?”

She knew.

“Well, then…sure! Let’s have an all-anal scene!”

And what a scene it was…

FLASH FORWARD: It’s January, and I’m at the AVN’s, and it’s after the show, and we’re at the Circle Bar at the Venetian, and me and my bro are watching Chico Wang run wild. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Hillary Scott walks up with Leah Luv. (They’re best friends). I say hello to them both, and they don’t remember me from shit, which is more typical porno girl behavior (I spent a whole day with Leah shooting her), but Hillary hands me her business card:

HILLARY SCOTT
PROFESSIONAL ANAL WHORE

which is an interesting thing to put on a business card and hand out to people, but hey…after her scene with BOZ, I’d have to agree.

FLASH FORWARD: It’s Tuesday, as in Tuesday of last week, and I’ve decided to book Hillary Scott, again for Blacks on Blondes, cause, well…it’s a no-brainer. She’s hot, and she’s blonde, and anyone that hot and blonde can come back to the site a second time. Plus, she’s added something new to her list of things she’ll do: double anal.

Double anal.

As in two guys stuff their weiners up her exit ramp at the same time, and then move them back and forth. Very fast.

I book her for 6 pm, cause she’s at Suze Randall’s studio all day, which could be a potential problem. Tired, cranky porno girls and Double A don’t go well together. I realize this booking her, but it’s the only time we can make our calendars work, and I really, really want this Double A scene. I don’t think there’s Double A anywhere at Blacks on Blondes.

I get another special treat from her as she shows up on time, and ready to work, but she does look like she’s had a hard day. This is why I have make-up artists on set.

She’s hungry, too, so I take her order and run to get it while she’s being made up: Taco Bell Nachos, cheese only, and a large Doctor Pepper. While she’s eating, I talk to Wesley Pipes and Weed, my male talent, while they’re shooting pool in the green room. It’s all small-talk, until Wesley asks me for a favor.

“Yo Billy man. Think you can write a letter to the judge for me?”

Turns out Wes is in some trouble, and he’s trying to get out of it, but things might not turn out in his favor. I ask Wes how I’m to handle talking about what he does for a living. I mean I’ve written these letters before – more than once or twice – and I’m not sure what to say about Wes’s chosen profession.

“Shit man, the Judge knows I’m porno!”

I agree to write the letter.

That’s about the time Hillary walks in, ready to go to work. In a nutshell, the scene goes off without a hitch, until we get to Double A, which, when I think about it now, is the biggest hitch to the whole scene. And, in the end, it didn’t work.

Hillary’s tired? Black guys dicks aren’t hard enough? There just wasn’t enough love in the air? No one will ever know. The scene still turned out, and turned out it did, and I can’t complain, even though there was no Double A.

All I’m left wondering now is how much longer Wesley Pipes will be around.