Well, it’s that time again. I go into my web stats and look into what people are typing into various search engines to arrive at I Shoot Porn. I did this once before, and I had fun, so here’s round 2. I’m sure I’ll do it again in the future.
What I discover…what people actually type into search engines…well, never ceases to amaze me. With that said, I’d like to reiterate these are exact phrases people typed into Google, or MSN, or Yahoo!, or whatever, to find my blog: I don’t make these up, nor alter them in any way. I’d like to either answer them, or comment…or both.
is mandingo the porn star dead – No. He’s alive and well and still has the biggest penis in porn. I just wish he’d return my calls. In fact, there he is getting a blow job from the wonderfully mighty Spring Thomas.
does anyone know where pornstar spring thomas class los angeles college – No. No one knows. And anyways, why would you want to know? So you can bother her at school? Maybe follow her around a bit? Eventually see if she needs some help with her homework? Maybe ask her out on a date, concealing the fact you know she is who she is? Rule number one when it comes to making friends and dating girls: don’t act like a creep.
stupid horny cum dumpster – Why wouldn’t you want a smart horny cum dumpster? Think about it – they’re already horny cum dumpsters…so it isn’t like you have to trick them into anything. Wouldn’t it be nice to have some intelligent conversation with them, after they’ve been cummed upon?
what happened to old dogfart – Like Mandingo, he’s alive and well and doing his thang. Take a look at a recent pic of the old codger at the bottom of today’s entry. That’s a very rare thing, you know…a real live picture of ol’ Dogfart.
best pov handjob – Well, that’s a Manojob – hands down. How can it even get better? Well, when Super Whore Kelly Fuckin’ Wells doles it out.
does the carpet match the drapes – Aren’t red pussies and blondes pussies really something special? I think that’s part of what makes Cherry Poppens so popular.
how to be a seattle pornstar? – There’s no way to be a Seattle pornstar, sorry. It’s nearly impossible. It’s better to live in Seattle and fly back and forth to LA every once in a while. That way, you avoid the cesspool that is Los Angeles, and you can still enjoy everything that’s to enjoy in Seattle.
gay porn and somking weed – First of all, it really helps to spell things correctly when you’re doing a search on whatever it is you want to find. But still, I’m confused here. Does this person want to find gay porn in which the actors smoke weed and then do their gay thing? Or does the person here want to know the effects of watching gay porn under the influence of weed? Maybe a little of both?
eat my poo porn – Eat my poo porn? Munching on boom-booms? Tasty turds? Chowing down on choda? Now come on. Really. Who in the world wants to see this shit? Oh, and pardon the pun.
what to eat to shoot a load like a porn star – Peter North swears by celery, and lots of it. I’ve heard the supplement Lecitan helps a ton. Some people have told me zinc. For a while some snake oil peddlers had Peter North as a spokeperson, hawking some sort of drops/liquids that helped boost the volume of your load. Here’s what I say: lay off beating off for 2 or 3 days. Let it all build up. Then shoot it. The longer you wait, the bigger it is. Even though the human body is a complicated machine, this is pretty easy stuff to figure out.
