Everyone look at the two dopes arguing over amending Maryland’s budget to deny any funding to our beloved Diamond Back Terrapins cause they wanted to show a dirty movie on campus.

When I was a Sun Devil frosh, I saw a dirty movie on campus — cause I took O.M. “Organ” Morgan’s class on Human Sexuality. So did everyone else…as in they saw the dirty movie, cause they enrolled in Morgan’s class, cause almost everyone wanted that “easy A”, and Organ Morgan’s class was pretty much that.

I barely earned a B, which goes to show you where my priorities were.

Anyway, they would pack 400+ kids a semester into one of the largest lecture halls on campus, and when we called the good professor Organ Morgan, we’d all laugh. Every single time.

The very first thing Organ wanted on our very first day of class was for someone to yell out a slang term for penis. I’m serious. He introduced himself, and then he asked for a slang term for penis. He didn’t even acknowledge the syllabus his three TA’s were handing out.

Silence.

Remember, this is 1982. Fall semester, too. MTV was in its infancy and almost no one had a cell phone and the internet was a place reserved for Rocket Scientists.

I say this cause I think in the fall of 09 Organ Morgan would have had his request taken care of immediately. But in 1982 we all looked around at each other for a long second or two before anyone said a word.

“Dick!” someone finally yelled, and there was nervous laughter.

A second or two later, “Cock!” — and you’d think Richard Pryor was giving the lecture.

I didn’t think it then, but I do now: are we uptight about our sexuality, or what?

A few seconds later I think I heard every single slang word for penis ever invented…some I had never heard before.

And after all the dicks and cocks and tools and peckers and pricks were shouted out, and after he quieted everyone down, we all got a shot at vagina.

“Cunt!” came almost instantaneously…and again, it brought down the house.

By week two Organ’s 400-person-class was whittled down to the 100 (or so) who would show up. Everyone knew nobody could take roll for a class filled with 400 people, and Organ didn’t even try to fake it. I came and went, and one of the days I made it Organ showed an old film loop, and even by 1982 standards it seemed really old. I’m sure it was at least a decade old, and we all sat there in a kind of stunned silence as the 6 minute (or so) 8mm filmed rolled.

I don’t know where to go with this anymore. I wasn’t even gonna really blog it, but what the fuck? At least it isn’t a blog about some Porn Princess having a melt-down or behaving badly.

Maybe I want to say nothing’s really changed. Not in 25+ years. Maybe Organ Morgan was way ahead of his time?

They decided not to show Pirates II: Stagnetti’s Revenge at Maryland cause the “titillation of porn” overrode the importance of teaching it.

I dunno what’s dumber: that there’s a subject that’s so titillating you can’t teach it — or they wanted to screen Pirates II.

If they woulda shown one of the movies I made, they could have at least added race relations into the mix.