Since it’s raining on my Salzburg Austria parade, I thought I’d tell you about Lexi Diamond.

Wait — let me tell you I saw Mozart’s doorbell today. Really, I did. Actually, I took a picture of Heir Mozart’s doorbell; it was his pad for 26 years, and I’m sure it’s not the original doorbell…but who knows. I’d like to think it was. I mean I’m not a Mozart nut or anything, but it was still kinda cool to see.

Anyways, Jim South has been a porno agent since Day 1. I mean that literally. As in Jim South and his World Modeling Agency was the place you’d go to book a Ginger Lynn / Traci Lords G/G scene in, say, 1983. I think the only other “official” porn agent that’s been around as long as Jim South is Reb…but I think South has him beat.

For the most part, Porno Agents are a sleazy lot. There’s a few good ones. Maybe 4 that I can think of off the top of my head. Maybe more. I dunno, mainly cause I’m still on vacation and I don’t want to think about porn a whole lot, except to tell you my story about Lexi Diamond. Oh…and that I like Jim South. He has some great stories, and I always try to pull one or two more out of him whenever I stop by to pay him whatever agency fees I owe. He’s the only one I really visit; the other agents I owe money get a check in the mail. Not Jim. Cause I can always count on something good whenever I stop by…like Tom Byron’s first nude Polaroid pic taken before he jumped into the Porno Game, or a good Traci Lords story.

Now, here’s where I kinda get down on World Modeling: their girls are kinda skanky. Some are really tough. I want to do biz with South, but it’s kinda tough. Then one day I get an e-mail from him touting porn newbie Lexi Diamond. I booked her immediately for Manojob and The Dick Suckers.

“Now, I gotta tell you this Billy. This girl has never shot before. Not a thing. And she’ll only shoot with her boyfriend. You OK with that Boss?”

Here’s my take on shooting a girl who will only work with her boyfriend: if it works out, the content is gold, cause almost no one else in Porn Valley will shoot a girl that only does things with boys if it’s her boyfriend. I like having content featuring a girl as hot as Lexi…especially since no one else will have it.

But there’s a huge risk…most boyfriends can’t perform. They’re not male talent…they’re boyfriends, and they suck at being a stunt cock. So I told this to Jim South, and I made it clear if BF couldn’t perform, they wouldn’t get paid.

“No problem Boss! She’ll be there with a smile on her face!”

Do I need to tell you boyfriend couldn’t get it up? Not even for one second. Which doesn’t mean I’m shit talking Boyfriend. I’ve blogged this a ton before — it ain’t easy being Male Talent. No way. Think about it…how many different dudes do you see in front of a camera? Since the internet it’s gotten way easier for dudes to jump into the game — but still. A whole different blog.

Anyways, Lexi and her man know the deal, and usually when BF fails and GF isn’t down to work with another dude, they’re hauling ass as fast as they can get out of there. But Lexi ain’t moving. So I leave the room so they can “discuss” and get on my cell phone to get a Stunt Cock down to my studio as fast as possible. Cause I already know how their discussion is going to turn out.

“You can wait in the make-up room while I shoot the scene,” I tell BF after they give me their decision. And the decision, of course, is that Lexi’s gonna jerk off anyone I can find, cause she ain’t going back to Jack-In-The-Box (her last job before porn).

Lexi Diamond hand job movie — and her first ever dirty movie. And it went so well I had her back a few weeks later, cause she was still in the game, and from what it looks like…she’s gonna be around a while.

A Lexi Diamond blowjob movie was shot a few weeks later.

I even had her come back for Manojob, cause I think she’s so cute, and I think she’s gonna have a decent Porno Career. Let’s just see how long BF watches from the sidelines before he says enough’s enough.

Cause sooner or later, that day’s gonna come.

And now I’m off to watch the rain fall and sit in front of my little pension and sip a Stiegl Spezial and listen to Indie Pop Rocks…cause they’re playing “Hey Joe”, and it’s not the Jimi Hendrix one…but the one by Tahiti 80 — a band I like very, very much.

But No Way Am I Gay.