In Porno Land there exists two creatures: “The Mope” and “The Stunt Cock”…at least on the male talent side of the game.

Stunt Cocks never refer to themselves as such; in fact, they relish their stage names, cause it’s their identity. Most Stunt Cocks think they’re “porn stars” and just as important as their female co-stars. Nothing, however, could be further from the truth. Oh, sure, there’s Peter North, and John Holmes, and…and…well, that’s about the only real male porn stars I can think of off the top of my head. All the others are just that: stunt cocks, and are almost indistinguishable from one another, and their sole purpose is to fuck the girl and blast on her, and that’s it. No one cares beyond that…even though Stunt Cocks think otherwise.

Then, there’s The Mopes. I like to call Mopes “Load Dumpers”, cause that’s all they’re good for on a porno set. A Load Dumper can’t carry a scene. A Load Dumper can’t fuck a girl hard for 30 minutes, cause he’ll cum in 2. A lot of times a Load Dumper can’t even keep his dick hard for 30 minutes. All that’s required from him is the load.

A Load Dumpers main purpose in life is to try and jump into bukakke scenes — or any other type of scene in which a whole lotta dudes are required — just to dump a load on The Porno Princess. They hope and pray they’ll be noticed on a bukakke set and hired by a director as a Stunt Cock.

Many try — few succeed.

Most Load Dumpers can never be a Stunt cock, either cause a Mope’s dick is too small, or they’re out of shape, or they’re super creepy, or they can’t perform a full sex scene — or any (or all) of the aforementioned.

A Load Dumper wants to be a Stunt Cock more than anything else in the whole wide world. He’ll even walk around and refer to himself as a “porn star” and brag to people how he bangs girls for a living…maybe even showing pictures of himself on actual porn sets, with his arms draped around a Porno Princess. They show these pictures off for the world to see. It’s their validation. A Mope’s mySpace is loaded with pics of them on porno sets with porno girls, and they value these pics almost as much as their own existence. The same can be said for a Mope’s Twitter account.

Just like any other sort of group, there’s the stand-outs, the mediocrities, and the bottom-of-the-barrel. This is true with Stunt Cocks and Mopes; for example, Sean Michaels is stand-out as a Stunt Cock, as is Steve Holmes, or James Deen. I won’t bother to mention the mediocre or bottom-of-the-barrel Stunt Cocks.

My pal Face Blaster used to be a stand-out Mope — but he’s retired. Most of the dudes I shoot in Cumbang and Brobang are great Mopes.

A few weeks ago a Mope told me one company that shoots bukakkes quit, cause there was a Mope on the last few sets threatening to kill people. I didn’t bother to ask the Mope who the other, Angry Mope was…cause I didn’t really care.

The “porn star” you’re reading about in the news who used a samurai sword to kill one person and inure two others was a Mope named Steve Driver. And yep, he’s the one that was threatening to kill people on the bukakke set that was recently closed.

I use the past tense, cause Steve Driver’s days of being a Mope are all over. As of this writing, Steve Driver is an outlaw — a Mope on the run — and he’s accused of killing another Mope by the name of Tom Dong.

I never met poor Tom Dong, and I think it’s a shame and a tragedy his life was taken.

I met — and shot — Steve Driver once, and he was such a worthless Mope I wouldn’t hire him again. The one thing he wasn’t — even though it’s being reported — is a gay porn star. Make no mistake about it, he was a bottom-of-the-barrel Mope, and it looks like I wasn’t the only one who thought so. Mopes can make a couple hundred bucks a pop; combo that with a part-time gig, and you can pay for a decent apartment. He was living in the distribution office where he took Tom Dong’s life. After being asked to leave and facing homelessness, he killed Tom Dong and injured another person so badly an amputation might be required.

With the Internet Pirates and Cal OSHA and the AIDs Foundation and Pink Cross, the last thing this business needs is a samurai-sword wielding killer on the loose. I hope they catch Steve Driver right away. I hope he confesses to killing Tom Dong and goes to jail where he belongs. I hope he doesn’t waste the court’s time and the tax payer’s money playing stupid games.

Then, we can forget about Steve Driver and deal with all the other problems that are killing this industry.