“Does he have a big dick?” I asked.
“It’s average, but he blows a big load!”
I’m all about the average-sized Stunt Cock blowing a bigger-than-average load; after all, in this biz, it’s all about The Money Shot…right? Besides, since potential Stunt Cock’s ween is average, which means a lot of my members will be able to relate, which means they’ll enjoy the content more.
So I gave the dude a shot.
When my members asked for Dianna Prince, I teamed her up with The New Stunt Cock, and when he pulled his wee wee out, I was pissed.
I was pissed at Porno Princess for lying about the size of her boyfriend’s package, but I was more pissed at myself for not asking to see it first.
I thought, just for a moment, to cancel the scene…but I decided to give Dude a shot. Who knows? Maybe I’d stumble upon a fetish: are there people who like to watch Small-Cock Porn?
The short answer is no, there’s not a lot of folks out there looking to watch Pee Pee Porn, and his load wasn’t all that great either…and it took Dude about 30 minutes of furious beating before he unloaded.
Clusterfuck #2) This is why I had an abortion!!: I book at Coog/MILF Porno Princess to appear in an upcoming Watching My Mom Go Black scene. You’re familiar with that site, right? You know…the one where a trouble-making Son gets in big trouble with a Black Thug, and Mom comes to Son’s rescue. Uh huh. That one. It’s all about “tough love” as Mom bangs Black Thug while forcing Son to witness the whole spectacle: “I’m doing this honey for your own good! You won’t mess up after this, will you?”
“No Mom! Please stop!”
You know the rest.
Anyway, we start shooting stills and my male talent — Rico Strong — pulls his dick out. Now, in Porno Land, standard protocol is to give a helping hand to a Stunt Cock to get the ball rolling…so to speak. Some call it “fluffing” and some don’t. I call it “polite courtesy” but never required.
The Mom I hired is not thrilled at all to help Mr. Strong out, and that’s cool. Mr. Strong knows these types, as do I; what I wasn’t counting on was Mom’s statement just 2 minutes into Mr. Strong working himself up: She looked up at Rico, made a face akin to someone after they lick a dog turd, and said, “This is why I had an abortion.”
I looked at Rico.
Rico looked at me.
The “Son” we hired looked at both of us.
Mom looked at Rico and said it again. Then, she jumped off the bed and starting saying — very loudly — “he can’t get his dick hard! He can’t get his dick hard!” Then she got on the phone and said it again…to who?
I have no idea.
Do I need to tell you I killed the scene?
How about this one: I kill the scene and Mom looks at me and wants to know how much her kill fee is gonna be.
I ask Mom very nicely to pack her bags and haul ass. And on the way out she says to me, “I need to have a Japanese baby.”
If you think I make this shit up, you need to have a Japanese baby.
Clusterfuck #3) Can anyone please find me a sistah?: I’m all out of black chicks to shoot for Gloryhole-Initiations and Cumbang. I mean it…literally. In three or four years and hundreds of scenes, I’m all out of new sistahs to shoot. And with the downturn in Porn Valley work, there’s not a lot of new black girls popping up at any of the agent’s sites.
What to do but re-shoot some of the hotter ones who are still around?
I booked one I haven’t shot in quite sometime. The problem is, she won’t do it for the rate we’ve been paying all the girls — black or white — cause, (and I’ll use her words), “I’m one of the hottest black girls around.”
So the agent dreams up a scheme: “Pay her your normal rate, Billy, and add my agent fee on top of that, and we’ll tell her that’s the pay. But, send the check to me, cause she owes me money anyway.”
I’m not a fan of such Tom Foolery, but I reluctantly agree. I need content, after all.
Shoot day comes…and she no-shows.
I don’t care what you’re doing to make your money, getting work in this economy is tough. But you already know this. So I lose money the day I’m supposed to shoot One of The Hottest Black Girls, and my quest still remains: are there any black girls who wanna take a trip to The Hole?
The small dick thing is hilarious, i am no behemoth or anything but at least be close to 6 inches before you claim average. The lack of black girls on the other hand is a complete tragedy , the two black girl sites are my favorite on the whole network. You’ve already shot a large percentage of the girls who are active and well know so i got nothing. There’s a ton of hot girls from GHI i would love to see do a Cumbang , but i am sure most of them wouldn’t agree to it.
billy if you’re going to give him a shot, you gotta let me. I’m actually average but I’ve got bucket load of sea monkey
As it relates to #1: That dude is praying for a medical breakthrough in penile enhancement surgery.
I absolutely can see #2 happening.Funny shit from here…Sux for you.Not a stretch to imagine that some chix get into porn for the opportunity to passive-aggressively…or in this case overtly humiliate guys.That-and they’re already headcases from the start.Hey…it’s the business you chose.
Beautiful sistas in porn are rare.(opinion) I mean “every few years” rare.I think it’s a socio-cultural thing of not wanting to be seen as (fill in the historical negative stereotype about black women)Couple that with the reality that white girls have more lattitude to play the porn game to maximum economic benefit.(Paris…Kim)
Has the business ever produced a black Jenna Jameson?…or a black Sasha Grey?…or even a black Tera Patrick? Besides Jada Fire(still working?)…I can’t readily think of a spank-inducing sista in porn-though I see quite a few in the wider world.Last one I really liked was Audrey James.
They just don’t make ’em like Desiree’ West anymore:
http://samuraifrog.tumblr.com/post/192651272/retrozone-superwoobinda-mothmilk-classicporn
Wow…just wow.
Hahaha you gave me a good couple of laughs, some people are amazing.
What about Montana Fishburne?
z, unless you’re Bpumper… montana’s last check from vivid was $25k
Sucks, all the girls I know are greek…
Aww I feel for you Billy! I would totally take a trip to the gloryhole for you if it was a little closer to houston, but I don’t think either of us is willing and/or able to put up my travel costs 🙁 Love your blog! oh and sorry about the little dick man, little dick men ruin everything for everybody!
Would love to see her with BBC!
You have to laugh at just how self destructive the porn industry really is. Come on! Wake up, people. Grown men worrying about the size of another mans penis. Does that sound right? Jacking off to some nigger thug that these idiots watching this shit, wouldn’t like to be alone in a room with that nigger. The two faces of death, self esteem and coverups. You think that any of you are going have kids and raise a family? Nah you’re too worried about what white bitch is going to fuck the next nigger. Get a fucking life. The killer porn industry is full of death, disease, AIDS, murder, reckless living and abuse. No other industry kills more people. That’s a fact. Take a good look at these women. Tattoos, piercings, different colored hair, self esteem issues. The internet makes these girls heros when they’re nothing but a flash in the pan on their way to nowhere. Just like the people who watch this shit. I’m sure that one day the blogger Billy Watson will be found in a cold room hanging from a rope or overdose on some pills. That’s reality. Take a look outside the box. Your life sucks.
Billy,
I read your blog every now and then. I like the two black chicks sites CB and GHI. You should get on your ass and come to New York City. I could have 100 new girls at your hotel room waiting to shoot the day you arrive. Girls are thirsty here cuz the Great Recession has every chick fucking for pay.
Man I am dying to know who the porno princess was. Can you email me a clue?