Fnord writes:

Hey, Billy.

What kind of gear are you using? To shoot with, that is. Er, I mean photos.

Cameras. I saw an F717 in one shot of you. Any particular reason you use it (as opposed to a DX2 or D20, etc)? I can think of a
couple (tilt lens, night shooting, nice glass) but wondered if we were thinking along the same lines there. Fast and wide glass for
the most part, or just your standard 50mm f1.8? I can’t fathom long glass being any advantage in porn.

Also, what are you guys using for lighting? Hotlights, I assume? Something standard?

Ok, *this* is your dumbest question of the day. I stand corrected. How does someone who doesn’t want to get into the biz for the (highly dubious) glamour get into the biz behind the lens? Does one need representation? An art school degree? A portfolio review? The secret handshake?

Thanks,

Fnord

Hi Fnord!

How did you ever get the name Fnord? Is this some sort of Norwegian thing? Icelandic? Do you like The Sugarcubes? And remember Fnord, the only dumb question is the question you never asked.

The F-717 you refer to is actually a F-707. It’s a Sony, and when it was new, it was pretty cool, and it’s still pretty cool. I like the way the lens tilts up and down, and its ease-of-use, and the pictures it takes.

But before I go there, let’s just say when I starting shooting porn, I pretty much had no idea what the fuck I was doing. Sometimes I still think I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing. Shit, I didn’t even shoot stills on my very first scenes for Spunkmouth; instead, I was convinced my Canon GL-2 was so clean and crisp I could just take vidcaps off the film and be A-OK.

Silly me.

I still shoot with a Canon GL-2. In fact, here I am shooting Kitty while she’s getting banged doggy-style. The GL2 is close by my side! I love it. It’s easy to shoot. It’s light. And the movies the GL2 spit out as .wmv/mpeg files my members download and beat off to are just splendid. Better than anything else, in my opinion. And while I’m beginning to think it’s time to move to a HD camera, I don’t think I’m going to yet. I also like my GL-2 much better than my studio partner’s Sony. And I’ve never really shot/used a JVC or Panasonic, so that’s all I can tell you about that. Except if you’re gonna start shooting video make sure you get a “3 chip” camera…although I hear the single chip cameras out now are so good you have to set a movie taken with a 3 chipper next to the single chip movie before you notice the single chip is inferior.

But you asked about still cameras, and here I am rambling about video.

After shooting with the F-707 for a few years, I’ve recently graduated to a Canon D10 with full-on strobes. Image that. I’ve even got a Norman power pack! And I’m leaning all about f-stops and shutter speeds and depth-of-field and all sorts of fucking bullshit I never really knew existed before. When I shot with the 707, I used hot lights, yep. I white balanced off something white…after I learned about white balance. Everything else I set on “auto” and just pointed and clicked.

I bought my D10 used. I can’t afford a D20, let alone the brand new D5. That’s why I got the used D10; it was cheap. I also just got a Pocket Wizard, as well as a light meter, which was a dumb thing to buy. Neither of those were cheap.

Don’t forget, I’m a total amateur. I’ve gone from totally clueless to barely capable to where I am now. Partly cause I never took pictures before I got into this biz, and partly cause…well, I’m making porn here. This ain’t Cindy Sherman. This ain’t Mapplethorpe or Arbus. And it certainly ain’t WeeGee.

It’s porn. And porn isn’t – nor will ever be – art. Make sure it’s fairly well-lit and all the action is somewhat framed and there you have it!

So, wanna get behind the camera and shoot porn? Good news is, anyone can! Forget about art school…no need for that! Don’t sweat any portfolio reviews, either. I’m not sure there’s a whole lot of people in porn who know what a portfolio is, in any sense of the word. And fuck representation. Who wants to give their money to someone else for nothing?

However, there is a secret handshake. It’s actually part of a whole secret porno ritual, and because I like you Fnord, and everyone else who reads ISP, I’m going to share it with you all now. It goes something like this: walk up to your potential subject(s), introduce yourself, and then ask them if they want to do something naughty in front of you while you capture it on film. If they say yes, then smile, set your studio up, and take your pictures. Roll video too, for god’s sake!

Now, on to the handshake part: after they’ve signed a model release and given you proper ID, hold your hand out in a firm, confident manner, and hand them their money…either a check or hard, cold cash. (My accountant says to always pay with a check). After they take the money, squeeze their hand firmly – but not too firm – and say “thanks for the great work!”

Congratulations! You know the secret handshake and can now call yourself a pornographer!

You might also want to change your name from Fnord to something tough and pornoesque, like “Johnny Dangerous” or “Big Dick McGee” or “Samuel Rock”. I’ve got one director friend who’s calling himself “Rick Shameless”. And there’s always my old pal “Brandon Iron”.

Chico Wang?

Just don’t use Billy Watson. I don’t need to tell you – it’s already taken.