I was pissed.

Kasey Chase was close to two hours late, and I was pissed…mostly at myself, cause I booked her knowing she may or may not show. The reason I booked her? Cause when she shows, Kasey’s almost as good as a winning lotto ticket. Don’t get me wrong…she’s not as good as hitting the Powerball, but I’d say content starring Kasey is about as good as hitting 5 outta 6 numbers.

And when she doesn’t show…well, that’s pretty much expected.

You might know her history.

You might not.

Skip this paragraph if you do: Once upon a time there was a cam girl calling herself “Dez”, and she used to do The Nasty with various boyfriends on a site I won’t mention here. She was wildly popular, and not cause she’s super hot. Well, being super hot didn’t hurt, but what helped a whole lot was the age at which she performed said acts.

Do I really need to tell ya how old she was? Or maybe I should tell you how old she wasn’t?

And now you know The Cult of Dez.

Oh wait. There’s more.

She’s 20 now, and when she entered the Porno Game at 18, I found her over at Jim South’s agency, World Modeling. I don’t recall how I heard of The Cult of Dez, but it was after the first scene I shot with her. Maybe on a thread over at Adult DVD Talk?

Anyway, she had already changed her name before her first scene — from Jessie Brooks to Kasey Chase — and I knew she’d be big with the fans, so I booked her…even though if you booked Kasey, you had to book her with her (then) boyfriend. And if there’s one thing almost every Porno Producer in Porn Valley hates, it’s when a girl will only do her man. In fact, producers hate it so much they almost always skip booking the girl, cause almost always The Boyfriend will fail on set. Plus, how can Creepy Producer corner a girl in the bathroom and try to bang her with The Boyfriend around?

Since I don’t roll like that, I’ll always take a chance on a couple — but only if the girl is hot.

And Kasey’s hot.

And guess what?

My gamble paid off. The Boyfriend performed, and I got a scene.

So I booked them again, right away. And I got another scene.

Then, it happened, as it almost always does. Kasey Chase was bookable with anyone in the talent pool.

Couples who join the Porno Game never last. They either leave porn as a couple, or they break up. If they break up, most of the time the girl will stay in porn for a while. If they don’t break up, here’s what happens: The Boyfriend eventually starts doing scenes without his girl. Which means the girl will start doing scenes without her dude. And then they break up.

So Kasey’s starts doing scenes without her man, and he doesn’t get many bookings, so they break up. Kasey gets more scenes, and is about to blown up, when she kinda disappears.

A few months later, she’d resurface for a minute, and then she’d disappear.

Now you see her, now you don’t.

And her rep among producers was never too hot. From what I heard, she was habitually tardy to set…when she’d show up.

Now you see her, now you don’t.

Fans loved her, and they could never get enough of her…because content featuring Kasey Chase isn’t all over the place. Add The Cult of Dez, and there’s your lotto ticket.

OK, ok…I might be exaggerating a bit on the lotto ticket talk, but when I put her on the cover of The Dick Suckers #1, I got e-mails from fans telling me the only reason they bought it was my cover girl — Kasey Chase.

Which is the other reason I was pissed. In addition to being two hours late, and in addition to booking her when I knew she’d probably not show, Kasey Chase content sells. But I’ll only kiss so much ass, so I called her agent and told him, “Look, I like Kasey, and she’s a seller, but she’s two hours late, and my afternoon scene is scheduled to start in an hour, so that’s that. If Kasey shows up, I’m sending her home.”

He understood.

And that’s when the gun shots erupted.

I don’t know if it was 5 or 6 blasts, but I do know they were close. Really close. So close I thought they might be right in front of my studio. A studio, by the way, which isn’t located in Beverly Hills…if you know what I mean. And I knew there were a few gangs in the surrounding neighborhoods, and lately I’ve seen some tags I’ve never seen before in my neighborhood, and there’s been a few times in which gun fire reverberated through the night, and last Winter they smoked a kid a block or so away…but today they shot up a kid against the side of my building.

“Call 911!” I told The Minion, in the calmest voice I could muster. (I stuck an exclamation point at the end of that sentence cause I know I wasn’t calm).

I hate guns. Nothing good comes from them…ever.

Then I just kinda told anyone within earshot, “Get into the make-up room everyone!” even though there was only me, the make-up artist, Stunt Cock, and The Minion.

I called 911. The Minion called 911. And apparently everyone else in the neighborhood did, too, cause when I finally got through the 911 (always an interesting experience in Los Angeles) the operator told me a whole bunch of people were reporting the same shooting.

Then The Minion said, “I think it came from that car that just passed your door!” I went out and opened my my door a crack, and sure enough, there was a car right by the door to my studio, and it was stopped. And then it started backing up…slowly. “Is this the car?” I asked the Minion, who was now looking over my shoulder.

“That’s it Billy! I think that’s the car the shooter’s in!”

“Why is it backing up to the studio?”

We looked at each other.

And right before I was about to slam the door and head for the make-up room, I took a closer look at the car — and specifically the driver’s side rear-view mirror. I wanted to see if I could catch a quick glimpse of the driver, just in case I needed to ID anyone for the cops. I could see someone in the mirror, and that someone was Kasey Chase.

She back up a little more, and I yelled, “Kasey! GET INSIDE! NOW!”

“Oh Billy, please don’t be mad at me! I know I’m late!”

I yelled again to get in, and she said she was sorry again, and I yelled at her to get inside again, and she looked at me kinda weird, and I told her there was a shooter on the street, and to put the car in park and get the fuck in my studio.

“I didn’t hear any gunshots!” she said, running into the studio with a look on her face like she was about to start crying.

Which is about the time the ghetto birds started circling above. And cop cars screeched to a halt in front of my place.

“Oh my god you guys did someone really just get shot?” Kasey asked. I looked at The Minion. The Minion looked at me. We both looked at Kasey.

Someone did really get shot, right outside my place, and as he lay there bleed and shaking in shock, the Detective told me to get back inside. “This is a crime scene,” he said, putting up the yellow tape. “Get back in your place and we’ll let you know when it’s OK to come back out.”

“Can anyone come in?” I asked.

They couldn’t come in. And no one could leave. So I had one of the most elusive Porno Girls in the game standing next to me in my studio…and I couldn’t send her home if I wanted to.

What else to do but make a dirty movie?

And what a dirty movie it turned out to be. Well, a hand job scene, specifically…and a damn good one if I say so myself.

Soon after we wrapped, almost all the cops were gone, as was the yellow tape, so we decided to walk across the street to the convenience store. Kasey wanted a Slurpee. I had handed her a red cup filled with water, but she wanted a Slurpee, which was fine by me. I wanted to talk a walk with her, anyway. And I wanted to tell you what flavor she likes best right now, but honestly I don’t remember.

“It’s pretty amazing to think a dude just got shot up here, and the only way you’d know it is the bloody sidewalk,” I said to Kasey, as we made our way to 7/11.

“What?! That’s where he got shot?!? Oh Billy! Do me a favor! Take a picture of me! Take a picture of me!!”

I looked at Kasey and just kinda shook my head. “OK.”

“Better watch it, lady. That’s fresh blood,” the cop said.

I looked at the cop and said, “She’s nuts.”

Kasey smiled, thought about it a long second…and then posed.