J. writes:
Mr. Watson:
I am a 20-year old film student at the University of Miami. It’d be great to be an Academy award winning cinematographer photographing the latest Stephen Spielberg flick, but I know that’s not too realistic of a career goal. I’ve always loved porn and I was wondering what it takes to make it in the industry, not in front of the camera, but behind it. What cameras/formats are used mostly? Mostly HD cameras? Also what is generally used in post-production (when it’s needed)? Is Avid the most used or is it FCP? What other skills are needed to truly excel in the porn biz? And last but not least, what is the pay like?
Really enjoy reading your blog and thank you for your time.
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J —
Easily the biggest kind of e-mail that lands in my inbox — certainly on a weekly basis — is exactly what you’re asking me about.
Why is working for Spielberg unrealistic? Don’t sell yourself short, my friend. Always remember one thing: The Man had to start somewhere, just like you’re doing now. Most times, The Man did whatever it took to make it whatever it is he wanted to make it in…whether it’s making mainstream movies, or dirty movies, or building something, or wrecking something, or flying something, or driving it…you get my point.
Just make sure whatever it is you pursue is something you really want to do. Which is to say just cause you beat your meat like most men do doesn’t mean you want to make Stroke Filcks…or does it?
If you really want to make dirty movies, then move to Los Angeles the second you graduate. Wait…stay in Miami. There’s a lot of smut being produced right in your neighborhood, and I’m willing to bet there’s some heet taking a load to her face as I bang out this entry. I’d get an HD camera, or a Canon GL-2, which, I think, is the greatest camera ever for making internet pornography. Better learn how to shoot stills, too, if you don’t know how to already. You’ll absolutely need post production; Adobe Premiere is good for editing, and you can get a whole editing bay set up for a fairly reasonable price.
Then, shoot porn!
And get ready for the consequences: not being able to tell your family what you do for a living or talk about your job while you’re sitting around the Thanksgiving (or Christmas or Birthday or anything else) table; lies and deceit; dating porn whores cause any “normal” girl will have nothing to do with a director of dirty movies; lies and deceit; waiting on guys to blow their loads, sometimes for hours; deceit and lies; flakes, flakes, and more flakes; and right when you think you’ve had enough, another porno “star’ will flake on you, right after (s)he lies and deceives you.
This is just off the top of my head. Gimme some more time, and I’m sure I can think of other shit you’ll have to put up with. But what job doesn’t come with headaches and the occasional nightmare?
I can offer this up: at least when you shoot porn you won’t get bored with your work.
Your pal — Billy
PS: If you do decide to make dirty movies, please don’t make them “arty”. Don’t try and make a “real movie”. Don’t add special effects or scripted dialogue. No explosions or car chases. No chases of any kind, unless it’s simply a girl chasing dick, or a dick chasing a girl, or a dick chasing a dick, cause there’s nothing wrong with shooting gay porn. Please please please don’t take yourself as seriously as some of the douches who make these sorts of dirty movies take themselves…cause, in the end, you’re nothing more than a douche bag smut peddler whose movies will quickly be forgotten in the piling heap of smut flicks that are made on a daily basis, and no one likes that sort of scurvy bastard.
And finally, to top it all off, there’s no money in online porn. So go be the next Spielberg, OK?
so where do u find people to try to make a porn movie? cuz i’d like to try to but havin a heard time finding people