Wanna start a dirty website?

Seems these days everyone wants one.

The business model is easy: solicit the potential member with free samples, get them to join with an outstanding sales pitch, and keep them happy so every month they don’t want to leave your website. It’s the same business model your health club used to get you to join. Or, that book club you joined. You get the picture.

Then, ask for help! Hire people to sell your site and give them a percentage of the sale…or, just a flat referral fee if the person they send to your business actually buys something. Kinda like Amway does…or used to do. Cause I dunno if Amway’s still around.

That’s it! Really. Simple, right?

In my business, I want to sell the very best masturbatory aids available. That’s what I sell. Material to help dudes beat off. That’s it. Cause let’s face it, your girlfriend, bless her heart, had a great pussy when you first met her, but it’s been a few years now, and that special something has kinda worn off. And your wife, bless her heart, quit caring about satisfying your libido about a day (or so) after you two said your vows.

I sell material to help dudes whack their wiener.

Cause that’s porn’s sole function: it ain’t art, and it ain’t a feature movie; forget about plot, and characterization, and all that silly stuff. Gimme a hot chick doing something really wrong, make sure I’m all alone and no one’s expected home for a while, and a ball sac full of jizz, and I’m good to go.

The Dick Suckers is a mighty fine example of the wares I’m offering. Who doesn’t like to see a girl stick a dick in her mouth and bob her head back and forth a whole bunch until the dude can’t hold it anymore, hence, losing his load. At The Dick Suckers, I direct the dudes to shoot in right in her face, cause it’s so wrong and degrading and hot all at the same time.

I kept it simple, too. No fancy names, no silly scenearios. They’re dick suckers, so we called the site TheDickSuckers, and all we do is slap a number on a scene and keep ’em flowing to the members as fast as we can.

We’re closing in on 100 dick suckers featured in the members’ area of the site, and in my opinion the 5th best of all of them is Serena Taylor — here’s some free Serena Taylor blowjob movies to prove, once again, that I’m right.

Serena Taylor was a stripper who took out a Sexy Jobs ad a couple of years ago. I contacted Miss Taylor as soon as I read her ad, and we had a nice conversation. My only problem with Serena was her price. She was an expensive scene, and Serena didn’t care whether or not anyone paid her rate.

I admire her for that.

She stuck to her guns through our negotiations, so I decided to cough up the extra dough to hire her. I’m glad I did. She sucked cock like it was an Olympic event and she was going for The Gold. The result? A monster load right to the side of her head, all the time talking like a dirty tramp.

When I shoot my scenes I direct the male talent to keep their mouths shut. Who wants to hear silly jokes and worthless banter? Let the girl talk right to the camera, which means she’s talking right to my members, and they love every second of it.

Makes them lose their load.

Makes them a happy camper.

All I want to be is a successful businessman while spreading joy and stress relief all over our fine land — and, come to think about it more, all over the world…cause now I’ve got members from other, far-away lands.

Which makes me an internationally known film director!

A spreader of joy and stress relief!!

I’ve received e-mails testifying that my movies have helped salvage failed relationships!!!

I should win a Nobel Peace Prize.

And you thought I was nothing more than a dirty pervert scumbag pornographer.