Lain Oi’s from Arizona.

I’m from Arizona.

Before Lain was Lain, she was something else, but I can’t remember what that stage name was. Her real name is a total hippie fest. I think her parents met at Woodstock, dropped lots of acid for the years that followed, and named her after one of the seasons, or a planet, or a spicy herb.

I’m kidding, of course…well, kinda.

So a long time ago I took Lain over to one of the gloryholes in Phoenix we used to shoot at. It was near the airport, and it was just as you’d imagine – a filthy place that no one really ever imagine themselves being…unless they were gay and cruising for sex, or part of a website that featured straight people doing something gay people made infamous.

When she walked into the place, I was worried she’d be appalled; instead, she found it funny. That’s one of the things I liked about Lain. We shot our scene, she did great, and I shipped the scene off to The Producer, and that’s the last anyone ever saw of it.

But this gets better.

After the gloryhole, Lain and I went back to my ghetto studio, where Boz The Animal was waiting, and he pounded her silly for Blacks On Blondes. I mean he laid some serious black pipe that day, and Lain, who (I think) was a bit intimidated by Boz (cause she was kinda acting all quiet and reserved around him at first) was screaming like a banchie by the end of the scene. She came so much all over Boz’s dick I think it was whiter than mine.

Boz’s dick, that is.

We shot our scene, she did great, and I shipped the scene off to The Producer, and that’s the last anyone ever saw of it.

That is, to say, both scenes were lost, and to this day have never been found, and that’s that – I guess.

So let’s fast forward now, about a year and a half later, when Lain’s now moved on from little Arizona to Big Los Angeles, and she’s working for a very large agency, and she’s working for some very large porno companies, and I decide, since those scenes were lost, and I really, really love Lain’s look, that I’d book her again for another Gloryhole.

I should have booked her for everything else I shoot, too…cause Lain’s got this beauty that I can’t quite put my finger on; add to that her personality, and damn, she’s fun to be around.

So we went again, this time to a gloryhole in Los Angeles, and she had a blast, and we did our thang, and that’s that.

And that’s the last time I ever saw her. She’s no longer on the very big agency’s website, and I don’t see her on any other agency’s site, so I’m thinking she’s all done with this crazy business, and that, for the most part, is a very good thing.