So I’m writing this in the present tense, cause I’m sitting here thinking what the fuck do I blog about today?

I ask the Minion, sitting across the office from me cutting the newest Manojob scene, “Hey, what kooky porn whore should I blog about today?”

Almost immediately he replies, “Thea Marie! Talk about how much she hated taking Mike hash’s load all over her face!”

I think for a second. Possibility. I could also talk about how Thea’s an artist, and how she told Gia Paloma, her make-up artist before the scene, that she was an artist, and how she needed to get certified in oil painting so she could get gallery shows and make lots of money.

But there really isn’t much of a story there, right? A cum hating, certificate seeking artist, blowing a dude to make ends meet, doesn’t really make for good blog fodder — or does it?

“What about a second Minion interview?” The Minion asked.

I don’t really answer, cause I’m not really paying attention, cause I’m searching my pics folder on my hard drive to see what kooky pics I can scrounge up to blog.

Andi Anderson!

Andi Heart!

Either or. She used to be Heart, and now she’s Anderson, cause we all know how these kooky porn whores can get all shifty n’ shady when it comes to naming themselves.

Like when Veronica Rain decided to call herself “Mia East” so certain folks wouldn’t discover her interracial sex movies.

So I’ll blog Andi, but I have to decide what story I wanna tell. I could talk about our recent trip to the gloryhole. I could talk about the awesome DP scene she did for Blacks On Blondes. She’s gonna be this Sunday’s Dick Sucker, and she’s jerked a wiener for me at Manojob.

But I already know the story I want to blog about Andi. It’s the one where we had this immediate attraction to one another when I first met her, and within an hour or so I was banging her booty until I creampied her super tight butthole — a butthole, I might add, that felt more like a tight velvet glove than a regular old rectum.

Did I mention I creampied it again, only moments later!

As in back-to-back load droppin’!

As in I haven’t done that since 1992.

Here’s the problem with where this is going: no one likes a braggart, and that’s all that will come from that story once I tell it. Besides, it’s kinda personal, and even though she told me it was OK to blog it a few weeks ago, I’ve decided against it.

But I’m looking at the pic of me goofing with Andi on set, right before her Blacks on Blondes debut, when I notice something horrible.

Something terrible.

Something I’ve never seen before.

Something that happens to people who brag about their sexual escapades to strangers.

Something that happens to people who out porn whores using different names in sneaky ways.

Something that happens to middle-aged dudes.

It’s started, and now it’s only a matter of time…

Mother fuck me.

Maybe I should call Dr. Life back and make my appointment now…before it’s too late.