Imagine you’re in a public park – maybe on a picnic – and you have to pee. And there’s a public toilet just down at the bottom of the hill. You tell your girlie you have to make a Number 1, and you head to the head.

And you walk in to find a heet taking a piss right in front of you. Get this – she doesn’t freak out. Oh sure, she’s nervous at first, then she smirks and asks, “Are you a man whore?”

Of course I am, my darling. Let’s just make this quick, cause my girl is at the top of the hill, breaking out the ham and cheese sandwiches, and if I’m not back soon, she may get a little curious.

Porn star Tory Lane is simply off the hook. I mean there’s almost no porno girls like her working the circuit right now. Don’t think she’s an actress, cause what you see in her fuck scenes is genuine; Tory simply loves sex. No wonder she quit Hooter’s, left Florida, and hit Porno Land. And do you think her recent marriage to Rick Shameless forced her out of the game? Well…for a short time she was only doing g/g and solo stuff…but that didn’t last long. I don’t know this for fact, but I can only imagine the “talk” she had with Rick.

I could imagine it went something like, “Um honey, I’m going to start fucking guys again. I mean I’m not making all that much money doing solo work and girls, and I kinda miss all that dick.”

Rick’s a cool cat, too. Maybe there was no “talk”. Who knows. Who cares, really.

I dunno if you’ve seen the Spunkmouth Tory Lane episode, but it’s one of the few times I’ve actually had my head spin while shooting the scene. Why? After our stranger blasts her face with man goo, she notices a large wad on the filthy floor. And without any direction from me, she got down on her hands and knees, crawled slowly over to the goopy mess, and sucked it right into her mouth…and then looked at me and spit it all right into my camera lens.

“Now turn the camera off!” she demanded.

What’s a guy to do? Except meekly say, “Um, Tory…you missed my lens. I mean that’s a really hot idea there….Um…well…um…can I ask you a big favor. I mean…um…really big? Can you do it again? And this time hit my lens?”

And how did Tory react? I was worried she’d get pissed and tell me to forget it. Once is enough. Certainly not be too happy about the deal. She did the whole thing…all over again. Crawled back, found some more spunk on the floor, sucked it up with a smile on her face. And this time – bullseye!

Since she’s doing guys again, I want to shoot her at least one more time – badly.

Is there any way she’ll do interracial?