When I was in junior high, I had a Social Studies teacher who was a total hippy. He’d play records while we were working on whatever it was we were working on that day. One of his records was “The Worst of Jefferson Airplane”, and I’d always wonder why anyone would name anything “The Worst” of…until now.

Lately people have been asking about being male talent in this industry. I thought I’d reflect upon my experience.

This blog’s original air date: November 26th, 2005

Someone calling themself “Ashley Blue” recently posted in xxxporntalk:

The fashionable STDs to get contaminated with are:
1. staph infections
2. vaginitis
3. throat gonorrhea
4. chronic yeast infections

If you have these STDs, you are so last year.
1. chlamidia
2. cold sores
3. crabs
4. pink eye

Hmmmm. Let’s see. Funny?

Or, here’s a little story for ya: A log time ago, Spring Thomas calls me. She’s upset. There’s “something wrong” with her. She’s at the airport. She just got home from LA, where she was visiting her (then) boyfriend Mark Anthony. And she’s in a lot of pain.

“Come fast please,” she pleads.

I rush to the airport, pick her up, and take her back to my place…cause she’s got “something to show me”. She walks into my kitchen, drops her drawers, and turns around. And on her ass is the single largest sore I’ve ever seen in my life, bar none. I mean it’s the size of a grapefruit, and she’s in so much pain she can’t move.

In minutes we’re at the emergency room, and they take one look at this thing and shit. They shit all over the place and get her into a room and put her under and lance this thing.

Thing = severe staph infection.

Spring recovers, comes back to my pad and ends up healing there…for about a week.

All done.

At least that’s what I thought. Maybe 2 months later, a king sized zit pops out of the inside of my leg. I pop it. It returns, only bigger…and badder. Way bad.

It grows and grows and hurts and hurts, and suddenly, there I am at the doctors, getting my leg lanced. A few months later it’s come back – in my nose. Then, not too long later, my armpits. Then again in my pits. On top of my skull. Armpit again.

Don’t think I didn’t get blood tests at about round #2. Lots of antibiotics. Lots of pain.

I finally figured out this staph was living in my nose, and once I got that down, I was free. It only took about $600 in doctor’s bills and a whole lot of pain.

Turns out there’s a hugely resistant staph not only in Porno Land, but all over LA County. And it’s somewhat restricted to LA County, so when docs see it in, say, Florida, they don’t really know how to treat it effectively. Well, as effective as the docs in LA County do.

I got crabs in college. And chlamydia. And I have no idea where this blog is taking me.

Oh yea…almost all the talent in Porno Land has something. Let me put it another way – at any given time, if you fuck anyone – even once – in Porno Land, chances are you’re going to get something. Currently, gonorrhea and staph are all over the place.

See…this is a real side to a business that, for the most part, is nothing even close to real.

And ain’t as fun as you think.