I am at JFK Airport, laying down near a Samsung “charging station”, and letting my iPod warm up for a 10+ hour flight as I bang out this entry. I’m out of Porno Land for the next two weeks. And I need it…bad.

Let’s see. Where do I begin?

An unnamed sister of an unnamed porn whore I shoot on a regular basis called me to say I’ve been feeding her sister drugs and alcohol in order for this unnamed porn whore to be a porn whore…or, in other words, enabling said Porn Whore to do whorish things while I roll tape.

This is, of course, complete and utter bullshit.

I’m not even going to get into details here, but suffice it to say that, more than being pissed, I’m hurt.

It’s easy to point the finger at Mr. Pornographer, isn’t it? Not only in instances like this, but just shit in general.

What a joke.

Time for people to stop pointing the finger at others and start pointing the finger at themselves…while they’re standing in front of a mirror.

Just about the time that dust settled, Fat Faggot blew his top.

I know…I know. Who’s Fat Faggot? Well, Fat Faggot is a charity case we’ve tried to help out at our studios. “Our studios” means there’s a few filthy dirty smut makers who work on the same floor of Our Building, and Fat Faggot was giving some work in exchange for shelter and, well…help.

Help to help himself.

Help to pull himself up by the bootstraps, to use the cliché, and get ahead.

I call him Fat Faggot cause he’s about 5’10 and he weighs 340 (or so) and he a homosexual. Don’t get me wrong…I hav no problems with homos, until they lose their job due to incompetence and then stand around and threaten and harass people cause they are such scumbags that’s all they know how to do. I’d call Fat Faggot Fat Straight Dude if he was straight and did the same thing…so it really has nothing to do with his Gayness.

Right about the time I had Fat Faggot arrested for his behavior (we gave him about 16 hours or ranting and raving and threating peoples’ lives before I called the cops…no exaggeration), The Barbie Cummings Situation went down.

There’s actually three Barbie Cummings Situations: one you already know about, one you might, and one you don’t.

The one you know about I’m all done talking about.

The one you don’t know about I’ll call the Cream Pie that went bad. And all I’ll say is this: the easiest thing to do for male talent on an adult set is the Cream Pie. Just blow the load in the pussy, like God coded into our DNA. Even easier is when the director (in this case being me) gives the male talent a green light to do it whenever they feel like blowing.

Think Homey could get it right? Even after I had him repeat my directions?

He blew his load all over his stomach, and I blew my stack.

And the third thing? While this was going down, another Homey stole Barbie’s cell phone. Now…why in the world would anyone want to steal a cell phone? I mean really…what’s the street value of a well-used cell phone? Unless, that is, it’s Barbie Cumming’s cell phone.

Then Barbie blows her stack, and I don’t blame her for that, and then I felt even worse cause it went down at my studio, which made me even more stressed.

Did I mention that Cherry Poppin’s wallet, with $350 in cash, was stolen the same way?

Actually, Barbie really didn’t blow her stack. She was sad, and that made me more upset.

Anyway, more shit went down in the last two weeks, but I don’t wanna go there anymore. If you’re still reading this, then you’ve let me vent, and I really appreciate that.

I’m off to France. Where the ladies wear no underpants. I’m gonna try to blog from there, cause I’ve really neglected my blog, and I think it’s time to start paying attention to I Shoot Porn.

For the next two weeks that’s the last thing I’m gonna do, or even think about — shooting smut. Instead I’m going to look at the French Girls and go to Art Museums and turn my cell phone off for the next 14 days and not think about anything at all…cause soon, it’s gonna all start up again, very very soon.

In the meantime, here’s a pic of three naked chicks filling out their model releases for Manojob and The Dick Suckers. They all did great work, and if you join up for one site, you get them both!

Another Pornographic Bargain, just for you.