This is a true story, cause all the stories I tell here are true, whether you believe them or not.

Before I figured out the whole Los Angeles porno circuit, with all the agents and pimps and pimps and agents, I was shooting in the city in which I currently reside, and I had a camera, and I had lights, and I had drive and a work ethic and all I wanted to do was make good porn and money — not in that order.

What I didn’t have was talent. As in porn stars. Or even wanna-bes. And the only thing I could think of to effectively recruit talent was to place an ad in the back of one of those weekly rags almost every city in America now has. In my town, it’s The New Times. The ad I placed in The New Times said something along the lines of “PORN STARS WANTED: MAKE MORE MONEY IN A DAY THAN MOST PEOPLE MAKE IN A WEEK.”

The first week, my phone rang off the hook. It rang every 5 minutes or so, and each and every caller was some dude wanting to be The Next Peter North. Or The Next John Holmes.

Whatever.

But I did need male talent, so I picked the least creepiest of all the dudes that called, and I met him at a Starbucks, cause there’s nothing quite like a Venti Iced Soy Caramel Macciato on a breezy afternoon.

He wasn’t creepy at all, and — get this — he knew a girl that would perform in front of a camera. And not just any girl. A cute one! That went to community college! She was 19, too…a barely-legal!

Kimmy.

Who I’ve blogged about more than once here. Come to think of it, I think I’ve blogged this story in some shape or form, but hey, gimme a break; as of this writing, I’m up to 434 blog entries, and really, my life isn’t all that interesting. Certainly not as interesting as yours, and I mean that sincerely.

In other words, I’m bound to repeat myself.

Kimmy! Oh, Kimmy! You naughty, naughty girl!! Coming over to blow various dudes for pay while all the time your boyfriend thought you were sitting in English class. And the cum shots you took were second to none! And you took them, right in the kisser, smiling the whole time and loving every minute of it: Spunkmoth and JOMG and Blacks on Blondes and Gloryholes, too!

But wait a sec. This is all about The Dick Suckers, right?

And Kimmy, too, who’s decided that making dirty movies isn’t for her, so she’s moved on to more lucrative activities.