Donovan Phillips writes: Is the war on porn our own fault?

Just a question. I’m just not surprised. We keep pushing and pushing. Things are now starting to break.

And I say no. I really respect Donny – that’s the reason I even chose to reply to this – but let’s look at his part of his statement: “when we take this very hard content and give it away free on sites that are easy for children to access…” Well, porn isn’t easy to access. Really, it’s not. Oh sure, just about anyone can buy a computer, plug it in, and start to enjoy the Wonderful World of Pornography within minutes.

But wait! When the folks brought home the computer to put in junior’s room, they asked the dude who sold them the computer “Hey! Any way to block that nasty, awful, society-wreckin’ pornography?” Why yes sir…here’s Net Nanny. And CyberPartorl. Here’s SurfWatch, and CyberSitter. And BSafe. And WebBalanced…and guess what?

There’s no porn on Junior’s computer.

So now let’s ask the really tough question. And no, it’s not “how to we eradicate porn?” It’s not “how do we make our schools better…or safer?” And since we’re worrying about dirty movies fucking up our kids, we don’t need to start in on booze, tobacco, and drugs…cause we all know about that.

Why is society failing our children? Maybe that’s the real question here. And the answer is simple, my friends.

Our kids are in a heap o’ trouble cause the traditional family structure that, for the most part, has built this country, and made it strong, catapaulting us into The Greatest-Country-In-The-History-Of-The-World status, has, for the most part, come to an end. This isn’t about a war on porn. Or a war on booze. Or dope. This is a war on the family unit. And the family unit lost.

I’m guessing it died around 1989. Give or take a few years. It started getting its ass kicked in the 70’s, finally went to the hospital 80’s, where it went to Heaven later in that decade.

From my years in the classroom I can tell you this – every shitty kid has a parent who’s even worse. Way worse. I’d have kids in my classroom that didn’t give a fuck about anything – grades, getting disciplined, advancing themselves, learning, caring about themselves – and when I called the parents, guess who wasn’t home?

And even if they were home, they weren’t home.

Know why “schools suck”? Know why “porn is ruining our kids”? Know why “the gang problem is growing out of control”? Why kids are smoking meth after school? Why, say, LA County or Maricopa County (Phoenix AZ) has high school drop out rates at 60%? It’s the easiest answer – and the hardest.

But wait! I digress. So let me get back to porn, cause after all, that’s why you’re here. And I’d like to tie this all up in a nice, pretty package.

Just ask your favorite porn star, next time you run into them at some big trade show, what it was like growing up. If mom and dad were around, caring and nuturing them, and showing them the way through this fucked-up world. If, when they got home from school, mom was around to help them sort out their problems – not only problems in school, but problems that made life itself confusing and upsetting and good and bad. And when dad got home from work a few hours later, they’d all sit down at dinner and he’d be there, too, to help out with everything, thus adding a whole new dimension in their lives.

Or was nobody home?

Every once in a while I’m asked “why do girls become porn stars?” I’ve thought about it a bit, and I’ve come up with my top 5 reasons why your favorite porn star became your favorite porn star (besides the obvious – money):

1) They were abused as a kid…not just sexually, either, although that goes a long way. I’m including abandonment issues here, cause I think they’re way more prevalent than sexual abuse. Wanna raise a porn girl? Just ignore her. Or haul ass when she’s just a wee baby.

2) Religion has been shoved down their throat…Christianity (or some form of it) of course. Wanna raise a porn girl? Make her go to your church 6 days a week…and have church study when she isn’t in church. Make her pray a lot, too. Then, repeat…while peppering her with the sinner rap.

3) Porn girls love to party! So much so they can’t control themselves…that’s how much they like to party. The porno lifestyle goes hand-in-hand with the party girl lifestyle, especially if they aren’t from a rich family. In other words, if Paris Hilton was poor, she’d be a porn star. Full time, that is…

4) They’re codependant, part of which means – in a nutshell – they love to give their dude all the money they make. I won’t even get into the maladaptive or compulsive parts of this point.

5) Believe it or not, some girls like sex as much as men! Too bad this is the rarest of the 5 traits.

This list is in no particular order; please feel free to combine any one (or all) of the above traits for any particular porn star; and I’m not saying that my old pal Chloe here was subjected to any (or all) of the above…I just found this pic of her before a party at Dogfart’s secret mansion, and it remined me of some good old times, and Brunos in Santa Monica, and how cute she is.

Finally, why do guys do porn? Think it’s to get laid? Well, in a round about way, yea…but mainly it’s because they’re sex addicts.

And who can blame them?

Check out my pal Jimmy H. shooting Montanna Rae. He’s got a cool site called Brand New Babes; Montanna Rae is a super heet from the midwest who travels to LA to make bank.

I met Jimmy H. at Ron Ellis’s porn house about a year ago. We became fast friends. What can I say? We’ve got a lot in common.

Jimmy H. shoots for some huge sites – ATKingdom and Karups, for starters. And he shoots some fucking super hot babes: Cassia Riley, my pal Sophia, Tylar Jacobs, Amy Reid, Kelly Kline, and Jelena Jensen. After he shot Montanna Rae, we went out to Fat Burger and grabbed some grub. Besides the normal bullshit, we talked about being a pornographer, and how society views us – the dudes behind the camera, that is. For example, when Jimmy H. goes home (he doesn’t live in LA, nor do I), he likes to hang out at the local pub, where dudes fucking worship him. He’s a regular hometown hero. And the girls loathe his pervy ass.

I talked to him about not letting society fuck with your skull. How not to let other peoples’ morals fuck with your own. I mean we’re both good people, who treat our models with resepect. And what about the school teacher who fucks the student? The car salesman who slams a naive customer into a lease deal for a huge commision? The Priest and the Altar Boy? The televangelist and the elderly? The lawyer and the weak? The stockbroker who churns and burns??

For some reason Tony Montana comes to mind now…when he’s drunk at the posh Miami dinner spot. Everybody point your finger at the bad guy! Cause it’s the last time you’re gonna see a bad guy like this again!

Deep down, we’re all “bad” in one way or another. It’s just how ya look at it.

Ask most chicks why they got into porn, and they’ll answer “Money!”

Ask most dudes why they got into porn, and they’ll answer “To fuck!”

Ask most producers/directors/camermen why they got into porn, and you’ll probably get either/or: “Money”, “To Fuck”, “I’m a failed (actor, screenwriter, fill in the blank here)”, or any/all of the above.

I took the gig for money. Honestly, I did. Sure, I like to look at naked girls, and yep…so ’nuff, I like to watch people fuck. But it’s the green stuff that lured me to The Dark Side.

And where’s the most money in this biz? Well, from what I hear, it’s on the gay end of things. Lotsa green in gay. Gay For Pay. Gay DVD’s still bring $15 wholesale; can’t give away the straight ones…unless it’s a Jenna Jameson title. And gay sites convert like mad.

Here’s my problem – I hate watching dudes fuck. It’s pretty awful. It’s a lot like driving by a bad, bad car crash – you can’t take your eyes off the wreck, but it makes you kinda sick…and you end up with nightmares for a long time afterward. I know. I’ve been on gay sets. I’ve even PA’d on a few. I’ve seen guys blowing each other. I’ve seen a dude slip his dick in another dude’s ass. I’ve seen a guy with a big, bushy mustache catch a load in the face. (Ever see a string of cum hang off a man’s facial hair? It’s not a pretty site.) And sure, after a while, that weird feeling wears off…but you’re still stuck watching dudes fuck.

I first told my ex-girl, Sacha, I might be interested in owning gay sites. “It’s where the money is!” I quickly followed up, cause…well, I didn’t want her to think I was gay. She told me if I was truly working in the sex industry to make money, I shouldn’t have a problem shooting pansies. And I couldn’t argue with her.

But it’s watching dudes fuck.

So I came up with No Way Am I Gay. It’s kinda cheating, isn’t it? Instead of watching them fuck, I get dudes who are hard up for cash to whack it while I roll tape. That’s right. Wax The Carrot. Tug The Pee-Pee. Jack The Dong. And I make sure they’re straight doods, cause fags luv ’em.

It’s not all that bad, either. Not as bad as shooting full-blown gay scenes.

The gay guys at my studio said to hire good looking doods, and if they’re ugly, just hire guys with big wee-wees. While big dicks are easy to figure out (what a mighty dong Mr. Hunter has! Mofo is packin’. I had to widen my camera lens when Home Slice got it fully stiff) – looks are a whole different ball game.

I have an idea that, say, Brad Pitt is a good looking guy, but I’d sure as fuck have a tough time walking down the street, pointing out average doods to discuss their looks with a bunch of homos…or chicks, for that matter. I mean I can still sit around for hours and stare at girls. Even being in the biz doesn’t stop me from staring at chicks at the mall, or at a bar.

But not doods – cause no way am I gay.

I just got an e-mail from Sophia. She’s engaged, and she wanted to show me her ring. I’m so happy for her, and for Kevin, and the more I think about how happy I am for them, the more my mind wanders.

Which makes it wander towards commitments. Not Sophia’s commitment to her fiance, just commitments in general.

Cause I’ve never been good with them. Ever.

I’m not sure why, either. But I like to blame testosterone.

A long time ago, I was a jock, and a pretty good one. I worked really hard to make an Olympic team, and I took testosterone to achieve that goal.

It’s nothing I’m proud of, but hey, this is my blog, and it’s going to be honest, so there ya go. I took ‘roids for a while, and they turned me into one horny motherfucker. I walked around with a boner, even when I wasn’t thinking of sex. I’d wake up with a boner at like 4 in the morning, even when I wasn’t dreaming about sex. In fact, I woke up cause of my boner. It was so hard it almost hurt. And the whole time I was getting a million random boners a day, my body was loaded up on testosterone.

Anyway, the physiology of a boner is to have sex, and testosterone makes a boner, and God put dudes on this planet to spread their seed. Dudes with lots of testosterone in their body – about 100 times as much as a girl – even when they aren’t on ‘roids.

That’s why you’re here, reading about porn. It’s also why you like to watch porn. And cheat. Cause let’s face it – there’s nothing better than sex when it’s new. And a man’s sexuality is as dumb as it gets.

Sophia’s engagement. Commitments. Testosterone. Random boners.

What’s wrong with me?

My friend Nicky M The Pro Photographer just left a message on my voicemail. I think it sums up the work ethic of porn girls brilliantly:

“Hey man! Why is it the only time a porn star feels well is when she’s looking for work?! I mean, when you’re about to work with them, they just started their period, they’ve got a head ache, a stomach ache, a foot ache; they’re hungover, they have the flu, food poisoning, they just got in a car wreck, or some close relative of theirs has just passed away…but when they’re looking for work, and they call to see if you have any, they’re feeling great…they’ve never been better…things are really going well.”

Ah Nicky, this is one of many Porn Star Mysteries.