I was sitting around my office one day, dreaming up a new site. A site that would be all mine. Ooohhhh sure, I own sites – Spunkmouth and JOMG, for example – but I’m a co-owner. I own a third. 33.3%. I wanted something to be alllll mine.

I can get greedy like that; I want all the pie, damnit…not a silly 33.3% of the pie.

Since it would be all mine, that meant I’d be funding the whole deal (duh!); in addition, the first thing you think about when whipping up a site is content. What’s my new site gonna be all about? Gangbangs? Blowjobs? Butt fucking?

In this day and age, you really need to settle on a niche. You really don’t want to try and sell a surfer on a site that features gangbangs, blowjobs, and buttfucking, even though all those acts could take place in, for example, a gang bang site.

Am I making sense?

In the internet porno biz, we refer to them as “salad bar sites”; a webmaster is just throwing the potential customer all sorts of different content in hopes of selling them a membership. Join a salad bar site and you might get to see Jenna Jameson blow Randy West, then Peter North buttfuck Chloe, and top it off with a good old interracial gangbang just like the ones you see in the Trailer Trash Whores series.

These sorts of sites worked in 1998; they don’t really do too well now.

When picking your niche, the one big thing to consider is cost. (This is the same when you start-up any business, right? See…making dirty movies is a business just like being a plumber, or owning a body shop and working on cars.) Gangbangs are mighty expensive. Get a good looking girl from a big LA agency, and she’s $1500. You pay her agent $100, and you get 4 or 5 dudes, and you’re at $3000 – before you even think about a studio…and camerman, if you don’t know how to work a camera. Those two things can easily tack on another grand on to your production budget.

On the other hand, BJ’s are simple. And guess what? If you’ve got a steady hand, and you know cameras, and you don’t mind having your dick all over the internet, for $250 you can film yourself getting sucked off by some of today’s hottest starlets. (I use the word “some” because there are porn girls who no longer “do” bj scenes…cause, well, they’re Porn Stars damnit)

The problem with a POV BJ site? Since they’re so cheap and relatively easy to shoot, there’s lots of competition. It’s probably the number one thing a pervy dude breaking into my pervy business begins producing.

Buttfucking isn’t as expensive as a gangbang to shoot…but it ain’t cheap, either. And remember, not all female talent want to get their ass porked, so that gets kinda tricky, and besides, this is gonna be my site, and I can’t afford to book girls for butt sex.

I haven’t even really talked about the “micro-niche”, either. You thought pornographers didn’t know fancy marketing terms, huh? HA! Well, we do…and it’s not just enough anymore to have, say, a BJ site. Whittle it down even more! How about a swallow site? Or, a site where, say, a white dude gets blown by black girls? Or a black guy gets blown by white girls. Why start a buttfucking site when you can start a site where they gape while they’re getting fucked in the rear? (Oh…don’t know what a “gape” is? Click the link for gaping anal sex pictures.)

You learn something new everyday.

I better cut to the chase. I feel, suddenly, like I’m rambling.

I chose to start a handjob site, for a couple reasons. It’s cheap to shoot, and really, there’s not a lot of handjob sites out there that feature exclusive content.

Sidenote: dirty movies (ie “content”) come in two fashions: exclusive and non-exclusive. Exclusive means it’s just on your site and no others; non-exclusive means you bought it from a content provider that sells the same footage, over and over, to as many websites as possible. Guess which is more valuable.

Handjob sites with exclusive content aren’t really all over the place. Really, they’re not. Not compared to, say, the POV BJ sites. So I’m thinking handjob site, cause I found out while doing a bit of due dilligence that there’s a pack of crazy pervs out there who love to watch a girl give a good, old-fashioned handie.

Then, I added a small twist. My handjob site would feature girl-talk only, and filthy girl-only talk at that. No dude chatting up the girl “Hi! How are you? What’s your name? Are those real?” kind of shit…or making dumb jokes and/or grunting noises as he’s blowing his load.

I wanted the girls I shot to look directly into the camera and talk like a filthy tramp, just so you can imagine she’s talking to you while you’re the one getting the handie. Afterall, porn’s all about the fantasy, right?!

Now, a name. More tricky stuff. There’s some big do’s and don’ts when you’re buying a URL: stick with “.com” addresses, don’t put a “-” (really a hypen, but almost always incorrectly referred to as a “dash” by almost everyone) in your URL, make sure you have a domain people can actually spell, and remember, the general public has an average education level of 9th grade, so consider that when you’re talking about spelling.

So I’m thinking things like “Beathismeat” and “Jackhimoff” – both available at the time. Then, I consulted my bro, and after a bit of time he tossed out the winner: Manojob.

Mano. Both Latin and Spanish for “hand”…which, for me, is almost as good as handjob.com, which, if offered on the open market, would be worth maybe 6 figures. Not too bad, huh?

I got manojob.com for less than 20 bucks.

Now I’m kinda excited. So I start calling some of my porno pals around town and start shooting manojob scenes. My first couple shot were Dasha (now Lucious Lopez), Erin More (now Ruth Blackwell) and Serena Taylor.

Oh yea, I didn’t mention one thing. Left it out til now. I’m the dude holding the camera. Before you pervy-pervs get all pervy on me, there was only one reason, and one reason only, for POVing this: it’s cost effective! It has nothing to do with getting a handjob from some of the hottest porno girls working the game right now. Nothing at all. Really. I’m being very serious. Strictly a business decision. All buiness. No pleasure. None at all. Really. Serious. I derive almost no pleasure from receiving handies from hot porn whores. Really and truly.

Talent fees add up quickly you know, and think of all the money I’m saving that I can pour back into ManoJob!

Here’s where it gets kinda cool: I went to LA to work for The Producer. Shooting big scenes. And after we wrapped a big scene, I’d get girls that are very, very difficult to book for a handjob scene to give me a ManoJob! Again, this is all strictly business. It has nothing to do with pleasure. Absolutely nothing. But can I tell you again it’s not that easy to book Jasmine Tame or Julia Bond or Tiffany Taylor for a handjob…I just shot Sativa Rose, too. She’ll be up soon.

(I haven’t even told you about the cute blonde sisters from Russia who gave me a handie at the same time, but that’s pervy fodder for another blog.)

So I’ve got my site, and my exclusive content, and my web designer came up with a cool design (more money), and since I envisioned a handjob site where girls look you in the eye and talk dirty to you, I’ve aquired two business partners as well. So I guess I’m back to 33.3% of the pie, but that’s OK…I couldn’t have done it all myself.

Now all I need are members – the toughest part of the whole gig.

Tiffany Taylor is hot. Way fucking hot. Too hot for her own good. That kind of hot.

The first time I shot her was for Spunkmouth; I booked her with Richard Raymond, AKA Richard Kline. If you know anything about Richard, you know he’s a pretty average guy.

I love to book Average Joes for male talent. Fuck bodybuilder male porno guys…cats like Lee Stone, for instance. Give me a beer gut and/or ugly dude everytime. Juan Cuba! It makes for better porn, you know? Plus, the viewer at home can relate to the Average Joe, cause most of the times he is the Average Joe.

And I’m not saying Richard is any of those things…I’m just sayin’.

The whole time I shot her for Spunk I was grilling her about what kind of dudes actually have a shot at her. In real life. I did this on camera and off. I mean, on top of being a porn star, she’s a super hot porn star, so I’m guessing that really only buffed muscle dudes with 8-packs and shit like that have a shot at her. The exact same kind of dudes I quit booking a while back.

But she kept saying, over and over, on camera and off, that looks really didn’t matter.

Do I need to tell you our nerdy guy gave Tiffany Taylor a Spunkmouth?

So fast forward to my new site – ManoJob. I haven’t really blogged ManoJob a whole lot, but I think it’s time. I wanted to start a site with original content, and I didn’t have a whole lot of funds, and I was really aiming for some sort of target niche, and it seems likes there’s not a whole lot of handjob sites around, and the ones that are around seem to have all purchased their content from this unnamed dude from Vegas who really didn’t know dick about holding a camera or lighting a scene, so I decided it was time for a decent handjob site.

My brother came up with the name.

So I started booking handjob scenes, and I shot them with a twist. Dude doesn’t say a word. Nothing. Not once during the entire scene do you ever hear a guy talk. Instead, the girl looks right into the camera and talks like a filthy whore. Kinda like phone sex, only you get to watch her get naked and jack a cock off, and since it’s POV, you can almost imagine it’s your dick she’s jacking.

Nice angle, huh?

So I liked her so much after the Spunkmouth scene, we had Tiffany Taylor jack a dude off.

Not bad, huh?

And here’s the cool thing – since I book girls to shoot for Spunkmouth, or Blacks On Blondes, or whatever it is we’re shooting, it’s easy to get them to stick around and jack someone off in the studio…hence, Mano Job manages to feature talent that just wouldn’t show up for simply one handjob scene.

Ok – I’m done patting myself on the back.

Back to Tiffany: I didn’t see her for a few months, and then one day I show up at Chico Wang’s porn house, and there’s Tiffany Taylor. She’s about to shoot a scene for one of Chico’s lines called Mouth To Mouth, and to be perfectly honest here, she was being grumpy. Well, that’s kinda nice. She was a bitch. It didn’t help that she really didn’t remember me, but hey, that’s norm with any of these silly girls.

I wonder if Chico’s incessant farting on set had anything to do with it? Or that he was pounding beers, and making her say “Mouse to Mouse” and asking all the talent to pull on his finger so when he did fart, it made his gas kinda fun? Maybe Tiffany was having a bad day, cause she doesn’t do b/b/g, and she had to not only fuck Talon for Mouth to Mouth, but she had to fuck Tony T as well, and she wasn’t down for that…but she did it.

OK. OK. I take it back. Not bitchy. Grumpy.

And guess what? She was all excited to fuck Talon. Ugh…Talon. I really don’t know Talon, and as a person he might be OK, but you guessed it…a muscle dude, six pack, square jaw, and bladda-bladda-bladda-blah.

She didn’t say anything about Tony T.

Anyway, there goes my Tiffany Taylor fantasy. Well, I wouldn’t really call it a fantasy. But still, I shoulda known better.

I am The Thinker.

Sometimes, I think about how to make a scene for Blacks On Blondes in a new and different way, a way no one’s ever really seen interracial porn being portrayed…a way that’s fresh and new…a way that will make people think differently about any and all IR porn they view in the future…a benchmark, so to speak. Or maybe the same some sort of thing for Spunkmouth, and again, it would be something different and fresh and amazing that would just blow people away.

Sometimes, I think everything that’s been done in porn has been done, and we’re all rehashing the same old shit.

Sometimes, I think why in the world do people like handjob movies so much?

Sometimes, I think about The Velvet Underground’s first record, and how truly amazing it is, and how it stands up better now than it did even four decades ago, and what people must have thought about that record when they first heard it, and Warhol’s cover art, and Lou Reed singing heroin – it’s my life and it’s my wife and how that record changed the way people think about how music can be played. A benchmark for sure.

Sometimes, I think about the best lighting angles for a DP or a double vag scene, and how much of a pain in the ass they are to shoot.

Sometimes, I think about Cy Twombley’s early paintings, and how they speak to me.

Sometimes, I think the whole way of marketing porn through these super duper multi-site deals cheapens our business and is generally a bad idea.

Sometimes, I think about booking Spring Thomas for a 10 man blow-bang, wherein she just drops to her knees, opens her mouth, and 10 brothers – all waiting in line – unload directly into it. No sucking. No fucking. No bullshit sceanrios. They just unload in her pretty little pie-hole.

Sometimes, I think about what I’m going to do when I no longer have to think about Spring Thomas and DP’s and double vag scenes and 10 man blow-bangs and Spunkmouths.

Sometimes, I think about how fucking extraodinary Kind of Blue is, and how nothing I will ever do in my entire creative life will ever come remotely close to comparing to it.

Sometimes, I think I’d like to start a new website in which a girl straps on a dildo, fucks a dude really hard with it, and then ATM’s the dude…and I’d call it something like HisFirstATM.com

Sometimes, I think about Jack Kerouac, and about the week they hired him at the Blue Note in 1957 to read from his new novel, On The Road, and how drunk he was that entire week, and how one of the greatest readers in literary history struggled through every word because he was so drunk, and how hardly anyone showed up on the first day, and by day three literally no one showed up, so they cancelled his last few days there, or maybe he just didn’t show up anymore, and how much I would have liked to have been alive in 1957 and there to witness every single day of it.

Sometimes, I think there’s way more gay guys in the world than anyone imagines – and there’s absloutely nothing wrong with that.

Sometimes, I think porn plays a large role in the moral decline of our society, but most of the time I don’t.

I am The Thinker.

You know how you just kinda groove on a girl and you can’t put your finger on exactly why it is? Am I making sense here? I think I need to make myself perfectly clear here on one thing, too: I am not one of those white guys who is obsessed with Asian poon.

Really, I’m not. And trust me, I know what that gig’s all about, cause I have a pal or two who are. That’s all they can ever think about. Asian pussy. That’s all they ever look at. Asian pussy. They get on a plane for very long periods of time and fly half-way around the world for just one thing. Asian pussy. They no longer date white girls. Asian pussy. They frequent places in their hometown where they know it’s bound to turn up. Asian pussy.

What’s up with that? I mean do all Asian women have velvety-soft vaginas?

So here’s the cool thing about Leili Yang. She ain’t a porn star. She tried, and her silly agent made her disappear fast. (There’s a lot of silly agents in this biz that are capable of that very thing – making girls quit the biz almost before they even start.)

Leili Yang was a senior in college when I shot her.

Leili Yang was studying a subject I couldn’t fucking figure out if someone gave me the next 100 years to do so.

Leili Yang loved lingerie from an (unnamed) corporate lingere store so much that she got herself into some serious credit card debt and needed a quick way out.

Need a quick way out of debt? I have a four letter answer for you, my friends: p-o-r-n.

When Leili Yang showed up at my door, all my troubles (up to that point in my day) mysteriously went away. Quickly. Cause almost immediatley I learned Leili Yang could carry a conversation, she was intelligent, and she was really a college coed in need of some quick cash.

And I knew about all those Asian poon addicts (herein now referred to as “APA’s”) who would sign up for any site Leili Yang was on.

To top it all off, that day Leili Yang took a giant load from Mr POV right in the pie hole and loved every minute of it.

Here’s some JOMG Leili Yang blowjob pictures from the set.

Here’s some JOMG Leili Yang movies from the same set.

Oh! Did I mention I loved working with her sooooo much I booked her the following week and shot a Leili Yang Sunkmouth scene?

And here’s where the story gets real fun. After her Spunkmouth gig, I shot her again. The producer from Blacks On Blondes ordered a scene without even looking at one pic of Leili. (Most of the time a producer wants to see a pic of the girl I’m booking for their site; I was so amped on Leili, he took my word for it.)

And what a scene! I’m gonna go ahead and break my arm patting myself on the back here. The scene ruled. I mean it was amazing. Boz The Animal, then a member of a crew calling themselves “The Black Pipe Layers”, really laid some black pipe into Leili Yang…about 13 inches of it, and Leili Yang liked it so much she cried as she came all over his black dong.

I shit you not. Tears streamed from her eyes. I actually stopped the camera to make sure she was OK. She looked up at me, nodded yes, and kept riding it.

Like a Rodeo Queen.

I packed the content up, sent it to my producer, and that’s the last anyone ever saw of it.

It’s lost.

Lost as in never to be found again.

And again, I shit you not.

I haven’t really written a whole lot about Spring Thomas lately, and there’s a reason why. I haven’t even decided if I’m gonna get into it (or not) on a public blog, but I will talk up her Jizz On My Glasses scene, cause it rules.

I actually had to get clearance from her boss on this one. We had two Spring Thomas Spunkmouth scenes, then she went on to do two Spring Thomas Blacks On Blondes scenes…as well as a Spring Thomas Gloryhole scene.

By the time we got her for JOMG, she was on contract and Spring Thomas.com was alive and well.

So en route from Los Angeles to where she stays in Georgia (one of the few times we’ve been foolish enough to drive) I got out with our dude Mister POV and Spring, and we shot the scene.

The fun just doesn’t seem to stop: first, we’re in a public place – truckers were just off in the distance(!); second, she’s actually sucking white dick, which, if you know anything at all about Spring, you’d know she really doesn’t do that sort of thing; third, she took one about the size of a Peter North facial.

Our boy Mr. POV really delivered…maybe he should start his own site.

Anyway, If you don’t believe me, here’s some Spring Thomas facial pictures.

Here’s some Spring Thomas facial movies.

Spring was a total champ about the whole thing, too. We all know there’s a lot of cum dodgers out there, and I think Spring would be the first to admit she’s not crazy about a load in the kisser, but she took it on the chin…and the face…and the hair…and the dress…and just about everywhere else. Afterwards, we all had a good laugh as she cleaned up. It’s all in the scene – check it out if you ever get a chance. Really, it’s worth the price of admission.

Hmmm. I think I’ll pass on writing anything more about Spring right now. I just don’t think it’s a good time. But here’s a picture of her goofy self, cause you don’t find shit like this just anywhere, you know…

The thing that really makes Jasmine Tame’s Jizz On My Glasses scene stand out isn’t really the quality (and trust me, it’s top-notch) as much as the circumstances behind it. I’ve talked about it before, too.

Did I show you these Jasmine Tame pictures?

Or that I spent a little time with Jasmine in Vegas, at AVN’s? We chatted a bit at her signing booth. Reminisced about our work day together last summer. Spoke about her upcoming gigs. I took a pic or two (this is her from the back, with her fans).

I just wish we would have spent some quality time together, you know?

I met Serena Taylor through her SexyJobs ad. That’s when she was still calling herself Colleen Del Rio. Personally, I think Colleen works better.

It took a few e-mails before Serena got back to me; in fact, now that I’m thinking about it, she waiting a month or two before I ever heard anything back. And Cole, the sole agent here, had already told me she wanted a ton of money for BJ’s and wouldn’t even do a b/g scene. I think that’s the reason he wouldn’t rep her. Maybe she told him no. And writing about it now…does it really matter?

Anyway, I’m OK with paying a little more to a smoking hot girl who hadn’t worked the game. Always have been. In fact, I wish more of them would charge more than “rate” – that way, I’d get them all to the sites I work.

We had discovered a Gloryhole here in town, and I needed a JOMG scene knocked out. In addition, I had just started shooting handjob movies for ManoJob.com, and I thought Serena would make a perfect addition to that site. So when we finally did talk, I booked her for all three.

And yea, she was more than rate.

Now, I know this is all about Jizz On My Glasses, but damn, the Serena Taylor Gloryhole turned out great.

And the Serena Taylor ManoJob scene? Worth every extra penny. She talked like a flithy whore, just like I asked. If you don’t believe me, check out her movies.

But it was her Jizz On My Glasses scene that really stood out. She took two dudes on, had no problem sucking them dry, and when it came time to catch the loads, she didn’t cheat the members: not once did she close her mouth, or stick her tounge out with a closed mouth (an old Spring Thomas trick), or turn her head or throw up her hands and block the jizz.

Serena Taylor might be a lot of things, but she ain’t a cum dodger. She’s also very cool to be around. She seems to like the computer a whole lot, too. She grew up on them. Ever since she was a little girl, she’s been on a computer. She loves to chat, she loves to play games (Mortal Combat was her fav, I believe), and she even designed her own site. Did I mention her blog?

I have more work for her…and word is, she’s finally doing b/g. But she won’t return my calls. Which usually means they’re out of the game.

I’ve told this story before, so I’m not gonna tell it again…even if it ties into the blog’s theme – another Top List.

Here’s the Taryn Thomas / Britt JOMG story, if you don’t know about it.

Here’s some free Taryn Thomas pics/movies: Taryn Thomas videos and Taryn Thomas pics.

She’s as close as most come to being a “porn star”, and we got to shoot her before almost anyone else did. She also delivered the #5 Jizz On My Glasses scene…well, as far as I’m concerned.

So check it, all you silly MoFos.