Lil’ Miss Molly writes:

If you knew how many times I have tried to comment on your blog you’d laugh (created WordPress account, etc)… but this time it warranted an email. I just wanted to let you know that I am glad to see the term ‘porn whore’ put to bed (no pun intended). It really bugged the crap out of me, not sure why. Also I prefer porn to porno. ‘Porno’ sounds antiquated. ‘Porn’ is more edgy, younger, fresher. ‘Porn’ in all its monosyllabic glory conveys brevity with a hint of elegance. ‘Porno’ feels like shag carpeting and Studio54. Ok, done with rant.

————————————–

Lil’ Miss Molly — Every day I wake up to check comments on my blog, and no one ever does. This makes me feel like a failed blogger.

It makes me feel inadequate.

Unloved.

Ignored.

So now I guess I can laugh at myself for not having fixed whatever it is that’s broken and kept your comments from all to read — and making my day.

Porn Priestess.

Porno Priestess.

Porn Priestess — brevity, with a hint of elegance?

Porno Priestess — antiquated?

Porn Priestess.

Porno Priestess.

Porn Priestess: edgy, younger, fresher.

Porno Priestess: shag carpeting and Studio54?

Hmmm…gimme a few blogs using both to make a final decision.

In the meantime, take a look at super cute, super fresh Porn Priestess Mia Lina as she jerks a dick. Mia is Latina! She’s also edgy, younger, and fresher…certainly more so than Porno Priestess Mia Lina?

The Time Traveler writes from February, 2024:

Since you were the primo-smutmaster of the mid 2000’s, I figured you’d appreciate a Where-Are-They-Now Update of a few Manojob gals you probably remember. Enjoy!

GIANNA– After her stint in porn, Gianna settled down. She’s the proud mama of four very healthy kids. All were breast fed.

KELLY WELLS– Still grappling with legal issues, stemming from an ugly incident involving prescription drugs and a neighbor’s lawn mower.

LEENUH RAE– Lives in Hollywood. Once appeared on The Price Is Right. Lost. Works at Starbucks.

BRITTANY ANGEL– Parlayed her XXX dough into a stripclub of her own. Tends bar. Bounces too.

RACHEL MILAN– Last seen pushing a shopping cart filled with used lamps.

KYLIE WILDE– Lost her battle with baldness. Maintains a bitter blog lashing out at pornographers, the Pope and hair products in general.

MARISSA MENDOZA– Nobody knows. Nobody cares.

INDIA SUMMER– Wanted for “mayhem” in North Dakota and Kentucky.

WHITNEY FEARS– Stand-up comic. Plays nosy Jewish bitch in new CBS sitcom.

SCARLETT PAIN– Went back to school. Elementary school teacher. Fucking the principal.

Well Billy, I’m sad to say that the future was not without SOME sadness. THE LOVE TWINS and their trailer-home were thrown by a tornado into a (ironic enough) nearby church.

The church steeple survived.

LOVE TWIN #2 did not.

LOVE TWIN #1 lost her left foot and married an EMT she met in the aftermath.

Gotta close for now, Billy. I’ll keep ya posted on further future developments.

Beggleman Pinnefrew writes:

Bill — don’t be an asshole!

I realize you’re a small-businessman with lots of people hanging on you and bugging you all the time.

But you say that Jason Brown was a good, solid employee of yours for several years. A go-to guy you depended on.

So if he wants to talk to you for 5 un-interrupted minutes, you should listen. Even if you know what he’s going to say and it’s all gibberish, you owe it to him as a sign of respect without giving him the goodbye-and-goodluck heave-ho, kicking him out the door.

I read it & it seemed cold and un-necessarily curt. You would be a better person for it – even if it’s Christian BS – at least you’d have a proper end to that relationship and not be a scarred, antisocial freak, which as I understand it is a major potential pitfall of your profession. Try to avoid it.

OK?

——————————————————————-

Mr. Pinnefrew I’d like to first say — great name dude. Bravo.

On to Mr. Jason Brown: I really tried to see your point, and maybe I was an asshole, but there’s a few things I think you didn’t consider. First, Jason’s very erratic behavior effected my small staff. It went beyond my comfort zone. Maybe I didn’t do a good job with the writing to make that appear clear…but, yea, he totally freaked out my bookkeeper.

That put him on thin ice, and it put me in Defense Mode.

There’s a time and a place for everything, too. Don’t you think? I wish Jason would have said something like, “I know you’re about to shoot now, but when you wrap, do you think we could have a few minutes?”

But that’s rational behavior, and it’s seldom seen in my biz.

What is seen a lot in my biz is Crystal Meth.

I do not know Jason’s on meth, but that’s the behavior pattern he’s exhibiting. I knew that when he made his initial “I-Want-To-Show-You-Something” phone call; that, or he was going to try and convert me to his spiritual beliefs.

I have zero tolerance for either agenda, and I’m sorry if that makes me an asshole…but it is what it is.

A lot of the girls in my biz take drugs that make their hearts go pitter-patter as a way to control their weight. A lot more of the girls in mainstream modeling do the same. If it ain’t a habitual coke habit, it’s meth.

Meth is fucking Evil, bro.

Evil incarnate.

But I don’t need to tell you that, do I?

I was gonna spin into a bunch of meth stories — from people who refuse to speak dirctly to you and only have written dialogues on yellow legal pads so the enemy can’t “hear” them with their “devices” to the Russian Mob is “after me” to the KKK is “after me” to homes with the windows lined with empty pizza boxes with tiny holes drilled into them to “leave LA at once cause there’s gonna be riots”…but I won’t.

Instead I’ll respectfully disagree with you, and say that — under slightly different circumstances — I would have engaged Jason in more than 5 minutes of conversation, and I look forward to the day Jason would like to have that conversation in a reasonably friendly place, during a time convenient to both of us.

By the way, if Jason ever makes the decision to jump back in The Porno Game, he’s welcome to my set any day. As long as he leaves the spiritual conversations and paranoid schizophrenic behaviors at the door.

Your pal — Billy

PS: I also took some heat for even blogging this mess in the first place…but I stand by my decision.

PSS: Am I really coming across as “scarred, antisocial freak”?

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl “Will you marry me?”

For whatever reason, the girl said, “no”.

And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played a lot of golf whenever he wasn’t playing his electric guitar and drank beer and scotch and smoked cigars and looked at dirty magazines whenever he felt like it and walked around his messy house in his underpants and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever need be.

The End.

The one & the only Fabulous Freebird, Michael Hayes, writes:

I am giving you some props for shooting those excellent gloryhole and blacks on blondes scenes with the beautiful Nikki Anne. I love the porn whores who look like the girl next door, and Nikki Anne fits that description to a tee. You got any more scenes anywhere with her coming up? That girl is fuckin beautiful, you should give her her very own Nikki Anne website. That body, that face, you could sell alot of subscriptions to that one. She blows these dumb whores like Barbie Cummings and Andi Anderson right out of the water. Whats the scoop on the gorgeous Nikki Anne?

PS:

Billy — Its kind of funny, I love porn, I absolutely love it. Without porn, I would have never been able to bone my first chick way back at the tender age of 18 years old. So I am pro-porn all the way. But when I see a beautiful girl like Nikki Anne, I feel like I want to save her from porn. I want to rescue her from porn, and bring her to Florida with me and we can get drunk together and smoke weed together, but in my twisted, convoluted mind, I feel since she looks so wholesome and pure, I feel that she is too good for porn, and I am like the fuckin Greatest American Hero, rescuing her from that world of smut. Does that make sense? I love porn, but I think Nikki Anne is too good for porn, yet I need to watch every porn movie she has ever done, because I am such a goddamn pervert. Barbie Cummings looks like she needs to be in porn, Andi Anderson looks like she needs to be in porn, Velcity Von looks like she needs to be in porn, but not Nikki Anne. Nikki Anne looks like she needs to be studying for her chemistry final. Nikki Anne looks like she needs to be heading up the latest Greek Council meeting at any college USA. And I FUCKING get off on the fact that she is in porn. Yet I want to save her from porn. Am I being non-sensical? These drunken Christmas night ramblings have been brought to you by your good friend, Freebird Michael Hayes.
____________________________________________

You and I have similar tastes, my friend.

And good news — Nikki Anne really is the girl-next-door. Which is to say she doesn’t live in LA, doesn’t do the porno rounds from producer to producer…shit, I don’t even think she has an agent…but I could be wrong.

I think it’s a (silly) common Dude Thought to try and “save” strippers, and hookers, and porn whores. It’s certainly an interesting psychology, and one that deserves my attention. At least for a little bit.

Oh, guess what?

Nikki Anne’s in grad school!

Just like you thought — and said — how fucking hot is that?

She’s back east, studying something I won’t divulge here, cause she’s a private person. But from time to time she shows up on porno sets to make a little extra bread cause:

1) She’s a naughty girl.

2) She hates the 9 to 5 thing.

3) She’s a naughty girl.

Go ahead and click on that pic of Nikki greasing her hands up to give a most excellent Manojob.

Now, for the (potential) bad news: she’s BCS.

BCS = black cock slut.

She’s all about The Negro.

Now, there’s nothing wrong with that in my book, but in your book, it might not be OK.

Might be far from it.

Let’s just hope she comes back to work on a porno set…but something tells me that might not happen for a very long time.

Amber Fully Loaded writes:

Dear Billy:

It started after chatting with you about how my boss had asked me recently if I would mind wearing a skirt to the occasional meeting with clients. I asked why and he said that a “little sex appeal” never hurts when it came to helping land some contracts.

He is a super cool guy and we always get along great, so when he asked me I knew it was not something sleazy but just a way to help things along. I am not naive enough to think that a little flirtation can’t help seal a deal when needed. When I mentioned it to you I joked that next time he asked me to wear a skirt I should just ask if I should wear underwear or not! You thought that was a great idea so sure enough, the next time my boss asked me I replied, “should I just leave my panties at home?”

I think I caught him off guard but he smiled and said that was up to me, but he wasn’t sure if I wore them or not. I laughed and told him of course I did!

A few days went by and no more was said about it. He bought me lunch later in the week and in the elevator ride back to the office, he asked if today was one of the days I was wearing underwear. I said “of course I am!” He didn’t believe me so I undid the button on my pants and pulled them down a bit so he could see. That pretty much shut him up!

This continued for about a week, each time he would call me into his office for a “Panty Check” and each time I would pull down my pants or lift my skirt so he could see I was wearing them. One day he got a bit more aggressive and he undid my pants and pulled them down himself so he could “have a good look”. I do have a boyfriend but this mild teasing and flirting was fun, plus I didn’t really think it would lead anywhere.

Last Friday was our staff Christmas party. Everyone had a few drinks at the office, and then we went out to a steak house for dinner, then back to the office for a few more drinks, our Secret Santa gift exchange and home. One by one my boss was calling everyone into his office for a quick Christmas chat and to hand out a card and a small Christmas bonus. Woohoo! When he called me in I had already had a few glasses of wine and was feeling pretty happy lol.

He gave me my card and bonus (which was much needed) and he asked me if I decided to wear underwear to the party. Before I could say anything, he said “teasing time was over” and he dropped to his knees, stuck his hands up my skirt and pulled my panties down and past my shoes. Whether it was the wine and the mood of the party, or maybe it was some other yearning but I did not resist. He began lightly fingering me pussy then picked me up and placed me on the end of his desk. Then he scooped his hands under my bum and I lay back while he continued to keep licking away at my pussy. Any thoughts of my boyfriend were nowhere to be found as he just kept working away on me. His tongue was darting in and out and I had not been licked like that in ages. I don’t think I have ever been eaten with such passion before! When I finally came it felt amazing and I know I came a lot! He continued to keep licking me then suggested we get back to the party before anyone notices. I slipped my panties back on and he said I could “pay him back another time”.

That time happened Monday after work. I kinda hung behind so I could catch him by himself and it turned out he was stalling to catch me too. He said that he was glad about what happened at the party but if I felt freaked out about it because of my boyfriend, he would understand. I said it did catch me a bit by surprise but it was nice. He asked if my boyfriend ate me out a lot and I admitted he didn’t as much as I would like LOL. My boss said that was a crime and once again he was on his knees, pulling my pants and panties all the way off. This time he hoisted me onto his desk right away and started licking me with force. He looked up and said my boyfriend was a slacker and that my pussy should be enjoyed every day so the lips were always nice and pink and puffy. Again I came quite a bit but this time we were not done, I sat up and I could see from the bulge in his pants he was already really hard.

“It’s your turn,” he said as he undid his pants and his cock came springing into view. I was impressed with its size. Not THE biggest I had ever seen, but at least 7 inches and quite thick. I dropped to my knees and started licking it right away. I didn’t want him to think I was all about my pleasure only so I licked and sucked it with real force. I pulled out all the stops and could tell by his moaning it was doing the trick. I was bobbing on it quite quick, taking him to the balls and back to the tip. Within about 5 minutes he told me he was ready to come so I just kept at it and he starting shooting. I counted 10 blasts and I just kept swallowing as it came.

I could tell he was impressed and told me I sucked a great cock! It’s funny now as I write this that I never ever thought this would happen when I first mentioned it to you, Billy! I know I should probably feel guilty about cheating on my boyfriend but I don’t. My boss made me feel great and I was happy to return the favor. I know the whole “employee-boss” thing is a tad cliché, but things happen I guess.
_________________________________

Oh Amber!

How I would love to be your boss!

How I love the dirty pics you send me — with your face covered in jizz.

It’s the only smut that does anything for me now…real amateur stuff.

Better watch it now girl, cause you know the old saying: Don’t get your honey where you get your money.

And please, more filthy pics of you fully loaded. I promise not to show anyone!

Your pal — Billy

Freebird Michael Hayes writes:

Do you know Whipper Billy Watson existed? I always figured that he was your favorite wrestler as a kid growing up and that is why you took his name for the business you are in. Only hardcore wrestling fan nerds like myself would even know who Whipper Billy Watson was. Speaking of wrestling, as you probably can figure out, I used to be a huge huge wrestling fan. I was such a wrestling dork back in the 90’s that my friends and I would make road trips to the ECW arena in Philly to catch shows (I live in Florida). If I would have spent half as much of my energy in getting laid, as I did in trying to get to the ECW arena back in the 90’s, then maybe I would have had a chance with a chick like Jenny Reeder. But no, I thought I was cool back in the day. haha right.

My all time favorite wrestlers are the Freebirds, but I don’t remember seeing them in Highlander. Of course the last time I saw Highlander was back when Christy Canyon was the biggest new star in porn and Al Davis was relevant in the football world, so my memory might not be the greatest.

I hate to tell you this Billy, but I usually download porn off of various bootleg websites for free. I do subscribe to Hush Hush because they have a 4 day full access free trial period for $9.95, and every so often I sign up for that, and try to download as many free videos as I can in the four day window. If the BOB sites had that option, I would definitely do that as well. Tell your boss he should consider it.

My favorite site right now is actually the Minion site. And not because I care about seeing that fat assistant of yours bang some chicks. I like actually knowing that if those girls are fucking and sucking that guy, then they sure as shit would get with me. I will never be confused with Brad Pitt or George Clooney but I am definitely 10 times better looking than the Minion, and I know that if Haley Scott is suckin and fuckin the Minion, then there is no doubt in my mind she would get with me in a heartbeat. Does that make sense?

—————————————————-

This weekend, while having dinner with my parents at Canter’s (1/2 a corned beef sandwich and a cup of Matzo Ball soup for all of us, thank you very much Mr. Canter!) my mother made a startling comment.

“My mom used to date a boy named Billy Watson before she got married.”

I just about choked on part of my matzoball, and if you’re a fan of matzoballs, you know this isn’t a very easy thing to do.

Of course I was talking to my folks about that I do for a living.

They know what I do for a living.

They know about gloryholes, and manojobs, and Chelci Fox, dick suckers, and spunkmouths, and ass eating, and interracial gangbangs.

They’ve even heard me exclaim — on more than one occasion — No Way Am I Gay!

But they never knew about Billy Watson, nor my blog. Actually I might have told them about ISP, but I don’t remember now.

My grandmother dated Billy Watson.

How fucked up is that?

I found out about Whipper while on a trip to Wikipedia to see if I was an entry. Talk about ego-tripping whilst surfin’ the net.

Does anyone even say they “surf” the net anymore?

But let me back up: before her starting comment, my mom asked, “so what’s your friend Adrianna Nicole’s real last name? I mean you all have fake names, right?”

Isn’t it funny when your parents ask about your freinds’ last names? You know it’s all part of the pseudo-subversive, fact-finding mission all parents embark upon…so, if I said “it’s Adrianna Finklestein” (it’s not) they’d know I was palling around with a Jew. Not that my parents are anti-Semites, cause they’re not, but you know what I mean.

I said, “yes, we all have fake names, and mine is Billy Watson.”

So now I’m sitting there realizing the fake porno name I chose years ago is the same name of a dude my granny was banging in, like, 1931.

Unless pre-marital sex didn’t go down in 1931 (of course it did, but not like today), or my granny was a prude (how creepy is thinking about your grandparents banging?), or she didn’t find her Billy Watson bangable (how creepy is thinking about your grandparents banging?).

Then, as quickly as I was blown away by this, I was over it. Probably cause I was at Canter’s, and my soup came out a little cold, so I wanted to finish it all up before it got ice cold.

Besides, Fran, our waitress, just dropped the corned beef sandwiches right down in front of us.

Then my dad asked, “how’s your business?”

I said, “Well, dad, it’s getting very difficult. People have no problem stealing intangibles. All these free downloads all over the place are killing the music industry and mine, too. And you know if they’re gonna steal music from their favorite bands, there’s no way they’re paying for porn. Let’s face it, we’re the bad guys. It’s OK to steal from us.”

To which my dad replied: “This matzoball soup is some of the best I’ve ever had! And look how lean this corned beef is! WOW!”

Finally, remember this, Freebird Michael Hayes — beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it has nothing to do with Haley Scott banging my very good brotha The Minion. You can bang her too! I’ll even give you her agent’s number, cause I’m sure she’s like all porn girls right now and dying for work. Just make sure you have her rate ($1000 for b/g), an AIM test, a model release, some lights (any old lights will do) and a camera when she comes walking into your cheesy porno motel room.

Don’t even sweat it if there’s a tape in the camera or not.

Just make sure your check clears…or, even better, pay her in cash.

The Jedi Knight writes:

Do you know anything about the girl “Jenny Reeder” who appeared a few updates ago on Gloryhole? I’ve never seen her before in anything, and she’s gorgeous. Does she go by any other names, or was it just a one-off thing?

————————————

Mr. Jedi Knight:

The Free Dictionary.com defines a gloryhole as “The an untidy cupboard or storeroom”.

Um, nope.

In glass making, it’s “an auxiliary furnace for reheating glass that has cooled during offhand blowing”.

¡No way José!

All Words.com defines it as “originally, a hole in a mineshaft where an orebody is mined upwards until it breaks through the surface into the open air.”

Uh uh.

Die.net says it’s a “small locker at the stern of a boat or between decks of a ship”.

Wrong again.

The Urban Dictionary gets it right: “A small hole drilled into men’s room dividers to provide access for sexual activity”.

The second definition Urban Dictionary offers up is even better: “A small hole in the wall usually found in men’s restrooms or adult book/video shops meant for one man to stick his dick in and another man (or woman) to give head. It is used for both people to stay anonymous.”

Glory holes are now a world-wide phenomenon. Don’t believe me? You can even get a translation of its wonders in Vietnamese!

Căn phòng bề bộn bẩn thỉu!!!

With that said, once upon a time there was a girl who got on a bus in Ohio and jumped off in Los Angeles, California.

Her name was Jenny Reeder.

Her desire?

To act in dirty movies.

I got her phone number through a B-Level porno agent whose name I won’t mention here, only because it doesn’t really add much to the story.

She showed up at my studio on a bright, sunny day. She was friendly and cute and I decided immediately to see if she’d be up for jumping into my big white van and traveling to the newest, cruisiest glory hole my PA Doron Pepperscone had just recently discovered.

Not “cruisy” but “cruisiest”.

As in “to cruise”.

That’s how they’re classified on the internet.

A lot of people think gloryholes are fake; trust me, they’re not.

Google something like “glory hole” or “cruisy glory hole” and see what you come up with. I found this FAQ on “gholes” within 10 seconds. Here’s another glory hole guide that’ll clear up any misconceptions that these places aren’t real.

Anyways, I told Jenny all about the glory hole. She was nervous at first, but also very excited about doing some so “naughty” — her words.

So off we went. The wait was long, but it was worth it. About an hour into our wait, Jenny was rewarded with about a foot (or so) of black dick.

A few white ones popped through, but she’s very picky about her naughty behaviors.

Funny how the white girls always wait for black cock to come through the hole…and the back girls always wanna taste vanilla!

Anyways, Jenny sucked it first and then decided to give the lucky SOB a “quickie” just because she had never experienced such a massive dick.

The dude must have been really excited, too, cause he blasted all over the place.

On the way home Jenny said, “I can’t believe I just did that. It was so dirty and wrong!”

I guess that means it was a one-off thing…at least as far as future trips to glory holes go.

Finally, with most porno actresses, most jump back on that bus back home as quickly as they got off it only weeks (or months) earlier.

And they’re out forever — leaving their fans wondering.

And themselves thinking — what the fuck what I thinking of when I made those dirty movies!?

D. writes:

I’m a short time reader of your blog, and a long time viewer of porn. I’m 26y/o female and I guess I wanna do porn. I say “I guess” because I really wanna work on your side of the porn industry. Not filming with the cameras per say, but whatever else like booking, becoming a not-so-sleazy agent, drop shit off at UPS, accounts payable, on-the-set design/mgmt/cleanup, whatever! I’m currently on hiatus from completing my dbl-BA degree in Business Mktg and Fashion Design. The reason I’m on hiatus is b/c university is so freakin expensive, I don’t qualify for loans (does anybody anymore?) and I guess I’m not good enough for scholarships. Sooooo what all that cums down to (hehe…. cums) is I REALLY like porn and I REALLY need money.

Okay I know, you’re gonna say, “well you’re a girl, you need to be getting fucked on camera to make the dough” Well yeah and no. I’m super sexed-up but I have a b/f, yes the dreaded b/f. And I’d much rather fuck females on camera, than males, but I know you already have tons of girls that only do g/g scenes, so like enough is enuf! But, he’s considered porn too. So maybe we can do stuff together, if we must? We’re both 50/50 Bisexuals (we don’t prefer 1 over the other) We are also an interracial couple btw, I read something about us types getting paid a premium? That sounds promising… So I don’t really wanna get whored out and end up on Blackie Abuse (I’ve seen Latina Abuse, and I kinda hate that type of porn) I like the stuff where you can tell everybody is enjoying fucking who they’re fucking, ya heard!

So my faves are Belladonna (fave!) Tory Lane, Delilah Strong, Sandra Romain (fave!) there’s others too, just can’t remember all the names right now.

So with that said, I’m totally down to be in a scene, but that’s not my main objective. Do you need an efficient, detail oriented secretary/assistant? Gawd Billy, don’t leave me hanging here! I live in Bakersfield, CA, not too far a drive to LA or the Valley. I used to live in LA and danced at VIP Showgirls and Blue Zebra in my earlier 20’s. So I’ve always liked nastiness in my life, and at this point, I need more than just makin love to the ole’ b/f if ya know what I mean? So Billy, Mr. Watson, don’t brush me off. You won’t be disappointed. I’m a very passionate and hard worker. Both my tenacity in administrative and organizational matters and my voracious joie de vivre towards sexual matters are great American Resources that have yet to be tapped and put to good use.

So what else can I tell you about me to get you to bite at my offer??? My ethnicity is Mexican/Black/Filipina, 5’7″ tall, 150 curvy lbs, short black hair straight or wavy depending on mood, big bright smile, self-defined guys-girl, Grace Jones/Josephine Baker/Nicole Ritchie a la The Simple Life (in regards to raunchy, debaucherous behaviour, not so much intelligence) I’m an amalgamation of so many eccentric characters all rolled into 1 undiscovered talent!

Oh p.s. I’m a Leo, and they always say I’m the Queen of the Sexual Jungle over all other zodiac females in astrology. Sooooo, c’mon already: How can I be of Assistance to You????

——————————————————————————–

D:

Hands down one of my very favorite e-mails. Thanks! If you can get your super sweet, very black booty to Los Angeles, I would love to put you to work.

First, we’d get in a van and head straight to a very secret place where’d you suck and fuck a white dick. This white dick would be anonymous and come straight through a hole in the wall. Is there any sweet gloryhole action in Bakersfield??

I bet thee not!

Afterwards, I’d shoot you for a top secret site (or two) featuring more super hot interracial action.

Talk about some oracious Joie de Vivre!

Do Leos get along with Sagittarians?

While I’ve never heard of “blackie abuse”, you can come down here anytime and give me some whitey abuse…cause lately, that’s about all that makes my Freak Flag fly.

And, since you took the initiative to write such a superb letter, and to follow it up with some Yahoo! IM chat, I’ve given you my cell number, and I’m looking forward to your call.

So, let’s make some filthy, dirty movies!! …just as long as you’re who you say you are, and not some 300 pound dude with a handle-bar mustache in a black leather jock strap and a fuzzy back.

Wait a sec…if you’re a 300 pound Leather Daddy in a smooth black jock strap supporting a fuzzy back, I will put you to work!

Just remember — No Way Am I Gay!

Your pal, Billy.