Category Archives: Super Fun E-mails

Here's the Skinny on Your Favorite Star, Super Fun E-mails, Whatever Happened to Her?

Super Fun E-Mails: “The Wonderous Jenni Lee”

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Jenni Lee Jenny Lee

JJ From Da UK writes:

Dear Mr Billy, Sir,

What can you tell your devoted readers (this one anyway) of the wondrous Jenny Lee? I think you’ve shot her a coupla times. Share, please…

—————

Dear JJ From Da UK, Sir,

I’ve been criticized a bit for my blog; specifically, I Shoot Porn takes the “fantasy” out of porn, and that I should just keep my mouth shut when it comes to things like talking about the girls.

I disagree.

Insightful tidbits, like what I’m about to lay upon you, are an Aid To Whacking, and they should be wholeheartedly embraced. With that said, I’ll tell you this: like most porn whores, Jenni’s about as kooky as they come.

If you follow the chat boards, you probably know Jenni’s a mainstream model, and she’s got a website up under her real name, but I’m not gonna post that here. Like I said…if you read any chat boards, you already know about her mainstream site — or you’ll soon discover it.

The first time Jenni swung by my studio to make a dirty movie, it was for The Dick Suckers. Here’s some free blowjob pictures featuring Jenni from that shoot. She wasn’t too kooky that day, but she did end up being a “cum dodger”.

Time to digress: cum dodgers are exactly that. They know they’re gonna get a face full of jizz, and they don’t like it…not one bit. Sometimes they’re obvious; sometimes they’re not. Take a look at the bottom pic of Jenni doing her best to dodge The Stunt Cock’s XXXL sized load. That’s an obvious cum dodge. The Not-So-Obvious cum dodgers will do things like raise themselves up higher than the spurting cock, in an effort to catch the load on the chin, neck, and tits…instead of the face.

I hate cum dodgers, which doesn’t mean I hate Jenni Lee; in fact, I like Jenni. So much so I booked her again, this time for a manojob. She’s on the red sofa, about to jerk a wiener. Look at her ass! Jenni Lee gave a superb Manojob, and she didn’t really try and dodge this time. Score 10 more points for Manojob.

I haven’t really talked too much about Mr. POV, but now’s as good a time as any. This dude is another kook, but he’s cool. He’s a fan of my blog. He’s a porno fan. Super Porno Fan. So much so he’s started his own gig. He’s probably e-mailed me 100 times, asking all sort of questions about everything that is porn. Next thing you know, he’s shooting his own scenes and selling them to me (among other places). He’s even got his own blog. Anyway, he’s a big Jenni Lee fan, and he ended up shooting her, and I ended up buying the scene from him. Here’s Mister POV and Jenni Lee.

Jenni came back a few more times to my studio, and each time she seemed more and more detached from porn. It was all about a paycheck for her, and hey…what can I say except oh well. First, it was Manojob, and then came the weirdest shit I’ve ever seen a porn whore do.

I booked Jenni Lee to eat some ass. She showed up on time, had her make-up done, and walked on set. And the minute she walked on set she started speaking in an English accent. No heads up. No warning.

Top o’ the mornin’ to you, mate! Where are the kippers and tea?

I shit you not.

Oh Crikey! Never mind the bullocks. There’s nothing more I love than crumpets and Shepard’s Pie!

“Um, Jenni. Are you OK?”

Of course I am, Mate! Care for a fag?

I’ve been on set once or twice when the girls disassociate themselves from whatever it is they’re doing that they don’t like. I could never figure this out, really. No one’s holding a gun to anyone’s head, no matter what Linda Lovelace said. These girls are here to do a job they’ve agreed to do. Maybe it’s like getting on the jumbo roller coaster ride, and you don’t think you want off until you’re at the top, strapped into the little roller coaster car, and there’s no turning back. Maybe Jenni’s English accent was her way to remove herself from the task at hand, which in this specific case, was eating a man’s bung hole.

I have no idea.

I shoulda just told her to knock off the bullshit, but I found it somewhat amusing, and totally fucking weird, so I rolled with it for a while, but then it got boring, and I finally told her to knock it off.

My mistake. I shoulda never let the camera roll with that silly accent. My saving grace was The Stunt Cock’s tremendous pop shot. Easily one of the biggest I’ve had the pleasure to capture for eternity’s sake. Peter Northian in both size and stature.

There was no dodging for Jenni this time. She was between the sofa and The Stunt Cock, and man, did she get plastered. She didn’t like it one bit.

A porn whore not liking (or taking) a load to the face is a lot like a race car driver who doesn’t like to drive fast.

After the English Accent Incident, I had my fill of Jenni, and apparently she’s had her fill of porn, too. She’s no longer bookable.

Until she runs out of money.

Jenni Lee Jenny Lee

random rants, Super Fun E-mails

Super Fun E-Mails: “I am NOT your core costumer!!!”

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Gianna Michaels

J. Ream-Her writes:

Hey Billy.

First, my vital stats: I am also in my 30s, I always feel like I’m slipping towards being overweight but avoid getting blubbery, I’m not in any more debt than anyone else (damn student loans) and I don’t live with my mother (I live with my wife, and on occasion the experience can be the same). I don’t like NASCAR but don’t look down on those that do. What I do have in common with JH is I like to write you while I’m drunk; sorry for that.

That said, I was kinda jealous of JH’s gift of free passes at first, but then I realized something. I really enjoy reading your blog; it’s a daily visit for me even when it isn’t for you. It’s entertaining and enlightening (you know what I mean); you write well and you and I share similar taste in a lot of stuff : travel, food, sense of humor, movies (I knew who Edith Massey was) and music. Plus it has tits.

However, I gotta admit: I don’t really like your porn. I don’t like the Gloryhole site since I really like the interaction between people and while I’m not into dudes, I’m surprised to say that I also don’t like them seeing knocked down to just an apendage through a hole (I think that’s mostly because there’s only so much a dick in a hole can do). I really like a lot of the “girl next door” types you have on Manojob and thedicksuckers (Anna Von Trap, damn) but bj-only sites and especially handjob sites have never done much for me (I should probably be more open-minded about this). I like a lot of inter-racial porn for two reasons: 1) black guys seem to fuck like I enjoy: rough but with respect, aggressive but never brutal, and 2) they like the same things I like in women, namely, some curves. That said, Barbie Cummings and Spring Thomas do nothing for me unfortunately…I’m sure they’re great people, but a little too bleached-out and skinny for me. I don’t like Blacks on Blondes because they delve into the whole racial thing a little too much (all that writing stuff we already went over) too much for me. “No Way Am I Gay?” Yeah, no.

This all isn’t not your fault of course; it’s just my taste. I just feel kinda bad since I like your blog so much.

Lo siento buddy,

J.
_________________________________

Señor Ream-Her, no need for apologies. I like my blog, and the sites I own, and the sites I shoot for, and my life, and just cause you don’t see eye-to-eye on every aspect of such doesn’t necessitate the need for an apology.

Why didn’t you bring up Spunkmouth or Eat Some Ass? There’s some mighty fine jerk material there, and, like all the sites I’m associated with, it’s a true value.

This is a perfect segue into the Bargain that is Internet Porn…let The Digression begin:

Perverts of the World Rejoice! (And let’s face it, that’s most of us).

Remember in the old, old, days, when slick, glossy, hardcore magazines cost fifty or a hundred bucks? And you had to actually go to a movie theater and sit next to people even more perverted than yourself, and jack next to them as the movie played on the screen? Oh, and nope — no rewinding to see that pop shot again!

Of course you don’t recall that, cause even I am not that old. (However, I do remember being 11 or 12 and walking by the Kiva Theater in Old Town Scottsdale and seeing TELL THEM JOHNNY WADD IS HERE on their marquee.)

Really.

And I recall being 17 when my family shelled out 500 clams for our first VCR, and heading right to the local Mom-And-Pop video rental shop, where, in the back room — behind the blue curtain — lay Paradise.

$5 per title per day allowed me to beat off like a monkey in the zoo.

And now, internet porn!

Join any of our sites, and you’ll get heaps and mounds at The Jack Shack for about a dollar a day, and no sitting next to perverts in filthy, cum-stained theater seats, and no video clerk at Mom-And-Pop’s shop knowing all your secret perversions.

Trust me when I say this: Internet Porn will save the world, one load at a time.

There will come a day when all the sexually repressed folks of the world who hate everyone and everything will finally mind their own business, take a deep breath, and join a porn site! At that glorious moment months (and sometimes years!) of built-up tension will finally be released, and they’ll feel better than they ever have — so much so all the guilt and shameful feelings of sitting in front of their monitor with jizzy hands and keyboard will be lifted from their souls — and it will be on that day when The Hate will be conquered and the world will be a better place.

And I’m the one you will pat on the back and thank when that day occurs.

Why can’t the Republicans figure this out?

Your pal — Billy

Super Fun E-mails

Super Fun E-Mails: “Spring Thomas vs. Barbie Cummings”

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Spring Thomas

JH writes:

Hey there, Ok Im going to get the request Out first. Im pretty drunk and if I dont make the request first I’ll most liely forget it by the time I get to the end of my point. I am e-mailing you primarily because I am wondering. Does there exsist a scene where Spring Thomas and Barbie Cummings are together? I am pretty sure such a scene does not exsist. I am sure if it did I would of found it by now. I am basically your core customer. I am an overweight man in his 30’s who is so in debt he is living wiht his Mom. I join porn websites every weekend. I live to see porn. If there was a Spring and Barbie scene I am sure I would of found it by now.

So since I am almost 99 % sure such a scene does not exsist. I have to ask you why does such a scene not exsist? I have my theroy on this, which I will get to shortly. But first let me beg a little. Dude you are the man that can make this happen. Bring them together Billy. It will be good. I’ wil join both thier sites for a glimpsh of this. And I am sure I am not alone.

Back to my theory. I have a feeling from reading your blog for many months, the reason this sene does not exisst is simple. Stress! Bringing these two porn whores together is no doubt like creating the perfect storm in your own basement. Surely such a mass of pure whoredom has never before fell upon North America. Is that the reason? You cant deal with both their “personalities” at the same time? What would really happen if you brought Spring Thomas and Barbie Cummings together?

Or is it my other theory?

I know your a good businessman. One just has to look at your scenes, they are brilliant! and read your blog and do the math on your membership fees to know you know how to make money out of this business. So clearly you have enough of a head on your shoulders to know putting Spring and Barbie together would be a sensible choice. I tend to think you are all for putting a scene like this on one or more of your sites. So I have to ask,

Do they not like each other?

Is that why there isnt such a scene in existance? It makes sence. They are both giant porn whores with a preferance for black dick. I am imagining they didnt get along the first time they met each other and have since proven they will come nearly to blows at any subsuqent meetings. Am I wrong? Blog about it man. Why are there no Spring and Barbie scenes? It seems the logical path to follow.

Oooo maybe its my third theory! You know damn well how desirable a senario this coupling would be.The two porn whores in question have no issues with working with each other, and you are holding off doing the scene as a sort of grand finale to your carrer?

No matter what the answer is. If it is something I have listed here, or maybe is something as simple as you havent gotten around to this one cause your busy I do hope you will somehow make this scene happen. For surely such a perfect storm as Barbie and Spring together has never fallen upon porndom before.

Dude if you get a 100 e-mails a day asking why there is no Spring and Barbie scene then feel free to ignore this e-mail. I will then at least know the idea has been sugested to you before and you are taking it into consideration.

All I ask is please take the time to hit reply and just put a fucking letter in the reply. So I know my message was recived, or not, whatever.

P.S. Please forgive my pathetic attempts at seeming literate in the places I mispelled big words. I am a drunk fat guy that likes Nascar and porn. I’m a fan of yours for obvious reasons and I have a humble request that you bring your two top guns together in one massive scene to end all scenes. But if not no worries. You still rock bro.

________________________________________________________________

Congrats, JH — you’ve just been awarded “Super Fun E-Mail of The Month”. This entitles you to:

1) a free month at Manojob, The Dick Suckers, and Chelci Fox…unless you’d rather have one to No Way Am I Gay. Just e-mail me and I’ll set ya all up. No tricks or gimmicks here, either!

2) The right to brag to all your pals — and why not mom? — that you’ve been bestowed an award from me, Billy Watson, and my blog, I Shoot Porn.

3) And all the answers to your questions, in both a direct and polite manner: No scene exists with both Spring and Barbie; it doesn’t exist cause I’ve never booked it; it would be tough to deal with both of them at the same time, yes; if I bought them together we’d get a great black cock slut scene; I have no idea how they feel about each other — nor do they — cause they’ve never met; I am not holding it off for a “grand finale” of my career.

JH — I am a fan of middle-aged fat guys who dig NASCAR and porn and still live at home. You are indeed my bread and butter, and I appreciate you more than you’ll ever know. This is a serious statement. Please e-mail me for your login and passwords to the sites I own.

Your pal — Billy

Barbie Cummings

Super Fun E-mails, Uncategorized

Super Fun E-Mails: Where Are All The Gloryholes?

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Desire Moore

M writes:

Hi Billy Watson,

I read your blog about Barbie and got curious. Can you tell me where is the Glory Hole in Los Angeles? Is it for straight guy like me?

I would appreciate if you do not publish my email. Keep the great work, I really enjoy reading your blog and watching the movies you record.

Thanks — M

————

M!

Gloryholes are everywhere! If you don’t believe me, just be aware.

Gloryholes are in public places. Usually seedy, dirty public places. But sometimes they’re drilled in places that you’d never expect: I think I told you about the time I was studying during my undergrad years and I had to make a Number Two at the library?

I hate making Number Two’s in public places; in fact, unless it’s “Code Red”, and I’m about to shit my pants, I’ll hold that dump until I manage to get home to drop The Deuce.

Which is to say I’m a home field player when it’s Doody Time.

Anyways, I was studying, and suddenly — out of nowhere — Code Red hit, and I was forced into the University’s bathroom to leave the Browns at the pool. As usual, I carefully inspected each and every toilet seat, and, as usual, almost each and every toilet seat looked more like a science experiment in dirty filth than a place you’d want to sit…but I found the cleanest one, pulled about three pounds of toilet paper off the roll to clean the seat, and once it was as clean as I could make it, I sat down, ready to make my Chocolate Soft Serve.

That’s when I looked to my right, and directly next to the toilet paper dispenser was a hole drilled into the stall divider.

Come on — I’ve told this story too many times. The point is “G-Holes” are everywhere! Common spots include adult book stores (check the peep booths and premium “private viewing rooms”) as well as truck stop bathrooms, library bathrooms, and airport restrooms.

I just caught myself sounding mighty gay, huh? I mean most G-Holes are a Gay Thang, but No Way Am I Gay.

Your pal — Billy

Alicia Allaghatti

Super Fun E-mails

Super Fun E-Mails: “Weird Dick Pics and The Gloryhole”

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Weird Dick Pic

BS writes:

I was reading and looking at your page and it got me thinking a lot of crazy and perverted stuff. Anyway I like most of the pictures you got posted on you page but sometimes the Hustler thing happens. The Hustler thing is where people go for porn to some disgusting stuff. On the recent post I am looking at Barbie Cummings then I scroll down and yikes there is a dick. Now in porn people see dicks all the time but something is wrong with that dick. Looks like it needs medical attention. I am wondering if that ugly dick has gotten more pussy than my dick. I wish sometimes that would post warnings. I get disturbed when the put different porn in the same location. Like the Two Girls One Cup thing that belongs in a completely different universe. There is porn and there is satatnic ass shit. I remember reading Hustler Magazine and it would go from hot chick to a guy getting his brains blown out. My rant is not really directed at you, I do want to know your input on this subject. I love porn, but I don’t want to see people mamed, eating shit, and fucking animals. They only thing attractive about animal porn is like what Keith said on the Keith and The Girl Show, they just look horny and in desperate need of dick. Maybe I did not quote Keith correctly but you get my drift. It’s like Jay said in Jay and Silent Bob strike back you got women blowing donkeys and some guys can’t even get laid. I liked watching some of Max Hardcore movies. I like staged rough sex, but the vomiting I couldn’t deal with. I would fuck all those women but I would not vomit on them or try to make them vomit. I like some bondage but it is not cool when it start looking like something from a Saw movie. Barbie before you fuck a dog please fuck me first. Or fly overseas and support the troops. Barbie Cummings Supports The Troops. They always have all these female stars, singers and cheerleaders visiting troops, how bout supporting them by fucking them. I know somebody would get pissed off but it is just one of those crazy thoughts I have in my head. Maybe someone can make my dream it to a real movie Seem like there is alot of Marines in the business anyway. What a successful transition to cilivian life. Other crazy thought I have is while I was watching Taboo 2 I thought it would be cool if the made a new movie with Deaxuma as the mom. The whole mom fucking thing didn’t turn me on it was the fact she was suducing dudes. I wish I could have played like a paper boy in that movie or a friend staying the night. I use to think the same thing watching Married With Children, what it would be like to bang Peg and Kelly while Al was at the shoe store.

When you talk about the gloryhole you talk about it like it a real place that I could go. I think it would be more comfortable knowing it is stage because at least you know who is on the other side of the wall. All the woman I have seen on the site I would have no problem with. I remember the movie Porkeys and wouldn’t want it to go down like that. So is the Gloryhole real?

Before I go, I have a few question I want to know from the women have you ever gave a guy head with Pop Rock in you mouth and can you describe it? I did it but I just want to know if I am the only one.

————————————————————————-

Hey BS —

Real quick, cause I have all sorts of smut to make today: yea, the gloryholes are real, and no, I don’t know what it feels likes to give a guy head with pop rocks in my mouth, cause I don’t give head to guys.

No Way Am I Gay!

Angel Eyes

Here's the Skinny on Your Favorite Star, Super Fun E-mails

Super Fun E-Mails: “My New Pal Marty”

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Jessica Valentino

My new pal Marty writes:

Well after seeing the previews I caved in and got a Spunk Pass membership. So I now have a subscription to all but “No Way Am I Gay” and I think one other. All I can say is that you have exactly what I’m looking for in Porn. That is hot, dirty, chicks, real interviews and hot sex scenes. When you asked Jessica Valentino, Who’s face is covered in cum, “How do you feel about cumshots?” and she replies “they’re OK” I thought that’s exactly what I want to see in a porno flick. I also like the way you give them direction…”put the dick in your mouth” while she’s trying to answer a question you just asked her…too much!! Anyway keep up the good work. I am looking forward to seeing the rest of your sites.

Your Pal, Marty

PS: Seeing Jaylynn Sinz photo next to my email makes me hard. Keep it up. Would you post a picture of my pathetic little dick next to a picture of Riley Mason? Here it is next to my favorite soft core model!

——————–

Well Marty, the way you’re gushing on and on about my work may lead some people to think you’re not really a person at all…more like a not-so-clever marketing tool dreamt up by me.

So I’ll go ahead and post that pic of your wee wee next to Riley Mason.

Just to make you happy, of course.

And to prove you’re a real dude.

What’s up with the dogleg curve that’s on it now? Your wiener looks like you smooshed it up against the wall.

Your pal — Billy

Jessica Valentino

How To Make A Dirty Movie, Super Fun E-mails

Super Fun E-mails: “How Do I Get Into The Porn Biz?”

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Kinzy Jo

J. writes:

Mr. Watson:

I am a 20-year old film student at the University of Miami. It’d be great to be an Academy award winning cinematographer photographing the latest Stephen Spielberg flick, but I know that’s not too realistic of a career goal. I’ve always loved porn and I was wondering what it takes to make it in the industry, not in front of the camera, but behind it. What cameras/formats are used mostly? Mostly HD cameras? Also what is generally used in post-production (when it’s needed)? Is Avid the most used or is it FCP? What other skills are needed to truly excel in the porn biz? And last but not least, what is the pay like?

Really enjoy reading your blog and thank you for your time.

——————————————————————

J —

Easily the biggest kind of e-mail that lands in my inbox — certainly on a weekly basis — is exactly what you’re asking me about.

Why is working for Spielberg unrealistic? Don’t sell yourself short, my friend. Always remember one thing: The Man had to start somewhere, just like you’re doing now. Most times, The Man did whatever it took to make it whatever it is he wanted to make it in…whether it’s making mainstream movies, or dirty movies, or building something, or wrecking something, or flying something, or driving it…you get my point.

Just make sure whatever it is you pursue is something you really want to do. Which is to say just cause you beat your meat like most men do doesn’t mean you want to make Stroke Filcks…or does it?

If you really want to make dirty movies, then move to Los Angeles the second you graduate. Wait…stay in Miami. There’s a lot of smut being produced right in your neighborhood, and I’m willing to bet there’s some heet taking a load to her face as I bang out this entry. I’d get an HD camera, or a Canon GL-2, which, I think, is the greatest camera ever for making internet pornography. Better learn how to shoot stills, too, if you don’t know how to already. You’ll absolutely need post production; Adobe Premiere is good for editing, and you can get a whole editing bay set up for a fairly reasonable price.

Then, shoot porn!

And get ready for the consequences: not being able to tell your family what you do for a living or talk about your job while you’re sitting around the Thanksgiving (or Christmas or Birthday or anything else) table; lies and deceit; dating porn whores cause any “normal” girl will have nothing to do with a director of dirty movies; lies and deceit; waiting on guys to blow their loads, sometimes for hours; deceit and lies; flakes, flakes, and more flakes; and right when you think you’ve had enough, another porno “star’ will flake on you, right after (s)he lies and deceives you.

This is just off the top of my head. Gimme some more time, and I’m sure I can think of other shit you’ll have to put up with. But what job doesn’t come with headaches and the occasional nightmare?

I can offer this up: at least when you shoot porn you won’t get bored with your work.

Your pal — Billy

PS: If you do decide to make dirty movies, please don’t make them “arty”. Don’t try and make a “real movie”. Don’t add special effects or scripted dialogue. No explosions or car chases. No chases of any kind, unless it’s simply a girl chasing dick, or a dick chasing a girl, or a dick chasing a dick, cause there’s nothing wrong with shooting gay porn. Please please please don’t take yourself as seriously as some of the douches who make these sorts of dirty movies take themselves…cause, in the end, you’re nothing more than a douche bag smut peddler whose movies will quickly be forgotten in the piling heap of smut flicks that are made on a daily basis, and no one likes that sort of scurvy bastard.

And finally, to top it all off, there’s no money in online porn. So go be the next Spielberg, OK?

Super Fun E-mails

Super Fun E-mails.

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Spring Thomas

Mister Anonymous writes:

Ok, so the Spring Thomas ‘humiliation / admiration‘ thing is kind of silly, but what ever, porn tends to bring these things out. But another site? Katie Thomas? I had no idea there was such a market.

I don’t believe for a second that they’re sisters, but I’m just weirded out by the whole thing. It seems odd to TWO sites where some White chick brags about only sleeping with Black men and presenting herself as a bigot while getting plowed…?

Who comes up with this stuff and – my biggest question as a Black man myself, are most of the people who you meet who are fans White (the Cuckhold thing???) or Black (the what tha fuck?!) thing…?

—————-

Mister Anonymous:

Why does this have to be a “black thing” and a “white thing”? Well, I should say a black thang and a white thing?

This is a rhetorical question, of course, and even after spending years with both Thomas sisters, as well as shooting for the world’s greatest interracial website — Blacks on Blondes — I really can’t answer you.

Yes, the Thomas sisters are sisters, and yes, porn, in general, tends to bring the silliness out of people…or does it?

Mark Twain once said “It’s no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.” He also said, “Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn’t.”

I have no idea how this relates to what I’m trying to say, but I have a pretty good idea Twain would have been a huge fan of porn, and interracial porn, if he coulda gotten his grubby, tobacco-stained hands on some of it while he was alive.

I dunno, maybe the Twain quotes do makes sense in some sort of odd way.

Why can’t two bigoted sisters brag about fucking black dudes?

I also don’t know if there’s more white fans or black fans who visit Blacks on Blondes and Spring Thomas’s and Katie Thomas’s sites. Does it really matter? I would assume white guys love IR sex cause, in general, they’re either rascists and find white girls having sex with black guys humiliating for the white girls (which turns them on) , or they’re into seeing white girls getting pounded by huge black meat (which turns them on); I would think black guys love to see their brothers pounding white, pink pussy, cause it’s something they’ve always wanted to do — or are actually doing — cause it turns them on.

It isn’t really about being a white thing, or a black thang, or anything more than a thing that turns a lot of people on, and trust me…there’s a huge market for things that turn people on, whether it’s porn, or that cigarette you’re about to inhale, or all that drinking you did last night, or the bet you won (or lost) the other day.

Hope this helps.

Your pal, Billy

Katie Thomas

Super Fun E-mails

Super Fun E-mails of the Intellecutal Sort.

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Leighlani Red

D. writes:

Mr. Watson,

….I must say that most of my suppositions about the nature of porn “actresses” have proved to be wrong, witness your recent interview with LeLani Red. She seems to have her head screwed on remarkably well. Of course serial killers are always the ones who seem so well adjusted.

“He was always so quiet.”

“He liked animals.”

“He let me keep things in his many spare refrigerators.”

I agree with you about the milk white skin that some red heads have and despite the racist overtones I like seeing them contrasted against a darker brother. How I’d feel about Bill Walton doing Lil Kim, three words, pay per view. Of course that is one of the other quotes that should alert you to the presence of a serial killer:

“He always brought home girls with the nicest skin… No, I don’t recall any leaving.”

I bring up racism because you wondered aloud (in print? in bytes?) about the popularity of interracial porn, so I did research. After scanning page after page of mostly white women tearing up as they were penetrated by some Mandingo’s love sledge. I came to the conclusion its unconscious racism albeit to the benefit of the black man at the expense of his prostate.

It seems that a vast percentage of porn is devoted to demeaning or at least dominating girls. There is as I’m sure you’ll agree a vast amount of weird stuff out there for the 100% of Americans jaded by their sex lives. They are looking for something “dirty” which by definition is anything your girlfriend won’t do and what they won’t do is anything humiliating, unless of course you get that one in a million that actually enjoys putting up with our disgusting little games. (I wish they’d wear a sign around their neck.)

ATM, Bukkake, piss drinking, gagging, Max Hardcore and any sort of anal requires at least a strong humiliation fetish to sustain any one’s interest. (Except in Germany, where I believe the entire population of weedy perverts is united in their quest to urinate on every other German. Its amazing that these same people nearly conquered Europe. Twice!) I believe that part of the unconscious charm of interracial porn is that a white girl is extra degraded when she does one or more of those dangerous black studs. If every one was so darn fascinated by watching colored and white folk get it on there would be an equal number of black girls getting buggered by white guys, n’est pas? I’d also suggest our Black friends secretly like tearing up the tight white booty for the same
reason. I’ll bring it up at the next NAACP convention.

I must say Eat Some Ass, (Speaking of vaguely demeaning behavior) continues to entertain and inform. I took the eHarmony test but instead of answering the questions I just wrote I WANT MY ASS EATEN! in large block letters with crayon. I got 11,527 returns from women in Los Angeles and one from the guy that does the commercial.

Oh and the last serial killer warning quote:

“He looked so familiar, was he in an eHarmony ad?”

or:

“Did he do a lot of German porn?”

————————————–

Dear D.

Please leave the Germans out of this…they’ve been blamed for too much already.

Your pal — Billy

Super Fun E-mails

Super Fun E-Mails: “How does it feel to shoot porn?”

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Jenni Lee - Dick Sucker

RJL writes:

What is the physiological effect on your body? IE; when I watch porn, my dick starts oozing it’s natural lube, so do you have to wear any absorbing material? Do you have to do anything to keep yourself in check? Or are you so caught up in videoing that it does not effect you? Do you regret saying things in a scene and have to edit it out? What’s the percentage of material that often gets deleted? How are these digital cameras, power wise and capacity wise? Did you take any classes in camera work?

RJL,

In your order:

1) Most of the time when I’m shooting a dirty movie it’s nothing but work. When I first started shooting dirty movies five years back, I’d have these weird, out-of-body experiences that are somewhat hard to describe. Kinda like I’d leave my own body and look at myself shooting porn, and I’d think how the fuck did I get here? Is this real? Then and now I wear underpants when I shoot porn to absorb any and all natural secretions, whether they come from my penis or my anus.

2) I do nothing to keep myself in check. Since I’m a human with a functioning brain, I realize this is a job and I act in a professional manner whenever I’m around talent, so I just kinda act like an adult and it all works out.

3) I am focused on shooting a scene, so when people are doing filthy, dirty acts of a sexual nature in front of me, it doesn’t effect me, as I’m a professional and act in a professional manner whenever I’m around talent.

4) Life’s too short for regrets.

5) I’m such a professional and act in such a professional manner that very little of my work ends up on the cutting room floor.

6) Digital camera are powerful and full of capacity.

7) As evident by my work, I’ve never taken a class in videography.

Check out the picture of Jenni Lee, gently biting her finger, about to replace that finger with a penis just to make it go back and forth until it makes spewy all over her beautiful face. You might want to don a pair of adult diapers before you click on it, unless you have the same sort of self-control and perseverance I possess.