MJ writes:

Wanted to get your take on two things…1, very easy, who do you feel are the top 5 porn stars…let’s keep Jenna Jameson out of it, she doesn’t do raunchy good porn nowadays anyway. Here’s my top 5, just wanted to see how they compare to yours….1) Eva Angelina 2) Julia Bond 3) Eve Laurence 4) Missy Monroe 5) Spring Thomas. Is that similar to feedback you get from other browsers of your site?

Secondly, can you or have one of your girls do a blog about the typical day a pornstar has?

Hey MJ!

Funny you should e-mail me now, when I’m kinda going through a “top list” phase. I just blogged about the top scenes our members chose at Spunkmouth, and I’m about to do the same for JOMG, and, from time to time, I also talk about the top search engine queries for girls’ names that bring the surfer to I Shoot Porn.

Hey, did I mention I’ve shot every girl that ended up on your top 5 list? A few are even friends, and one is a close, personal friend…and they’re all great to work with. Which brings up another interesting thing…I don’t watch porn anymore. Really, I don’t…so I really can’t rank the girls from a consumer’s viewpoint…but I can from a director’s…so that’s what I’ll do. (Who knows. Maybe there’s no difference between the consumer and the dirctor). And I don’t ever think I’ve done a personal “top list” like you’re asking about…so, with that said, I tied on my thinking cap (very tightly) and went to work:

5) Kelly Fuckin’ Wells. I like Kelly cause she’s not ashamed at what she does for a living; in fact, she’s proud to be associated with the sex industry; she’s a pleasure to work with; she comes up with some of the best one-liners ever – hence, she clocks in at number 5. (Oh – why not mention one of her one-liners now? While she was being pounded in the ass and trading off between two cocks in her mouth, she looked into my camera and exclaimed “I wasn’t raised like this!” and then shoved both dicks in her mouth at once.)

4) Delilah Strong. She’s not, per se, the hottest girl working, but she’s hot, and she’s great, and she has the same attitude Kelly has when it comes to work, and trust me – that goes a long way. Plus, like Kelly, Delilah is a super-whore, and I mean that as a compliment, of course.

3) Erin Moore / Ruth Blackwell. Soon, Ruth Blackwell will be unleashed upon the world, and when it is, people’s porno minds will melt. Nuff said.

2) Cherry Poppens. I’ve shot Cherry so many times I’ve almost lost count, and there’s a reason why – quite simply she rules, even though she still tries to pick the “meat juice” off her vegetarian burgers every time I buy her lunch at Cassell’s.

1) Spring Thomas. Not because I’ve worked with Spring for 3+ years…not cause we’re pals, but I gotta tell ya – there’s some scenes in Spring Thomas that stand up with some of the best IR scenes ever…and yea, I’ll pat myself on the back and take part of the credit for them, too. But only part. And a small part at that, cause Spring likes to take most of the credit for her work.

May I add some names that didn’t make the list, but they’re still awesome? Liv Wylder, Riley Mason, Leah Luv, Mia Bangg, Jasmine Tame, Deja Dare, Candy Rocks and Sophia come to mind almost immediately.

As far as Jenna Jameson – well, I’m a fan of her book How To Make Love Like A Porn Star, but not her porno, even in the days when she was making the circuit and not just banging her (appearently now ex) hubby.

And finally, I do indeed have guest bloggers here from time to time, and that’s a good idea, so sure, I’ll ask one of them. But will they want to do it? I dunno…when I really think about it, blogging is really more of an excercise in self-abuse than anything else. But it doesn’t hurt to ask, right?

Your pal – Billy

My Old Pal (not the real) Ron Jeremy writes:

Hi Billy,

Thanks in advance for any response you may provide.

Dear The (not) Real Ron Jeremy:

In your order –

1) Yes.

2) He’s a nice guy, actually…but I can see your point about how creepy he appears to be.

3) Yes, they can…but more often girls in my business have a “No List” that is just what it sounds like – a list of the dudes they won’t work with. There are some individuals who show up on “No Lists” more often than others; which is not to say I’m speaking directly about Dirty Harry in this particular instance.

4) I have shaken Dirty Harry’s hand, and no, I did not feel the need to shower, although at the end of most days, after I wrap shooting, I do indeed feel the need to cleanse myself – and I often do end up in the shower.

5) I have written some descriptions on my sites, but the bulk are written by my partner, who has (lately) been referring to himself as “Whore Hole”.

Thanks again for your e-mail, dude…like I said, it makes my day!

The Priest writes:

Hoya, Billy.

Always enjoy your posts. Was wondering about chicks getting preggers in porno land? There must be a tacit understanding that pretty much no one wants kids, and that things are/will be taken care of. I can’t imagine that a porno chick would want to have a child that may have been the result of getting it on with an angry pack of 5-10 negroes. So do the dudes have their shit crimped/cut/soldered, or do the chicks have standing accounts at planned parenthood?

Dear Priest:

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I don’t know any of these dudes who are crimped or cut or soldered – and no, most of the girls I’ve had the pleasure to work with are not protected.

Condoms? Surely you jest.

And The Pill? Well, there’s a huge problem with The Pill. lt makes girls gain weight, and that’s no good; in fact, it’s horrible. I mean really…are you kidding me? GAIN WEIGHT?! Things like the Green House Effect and $4 a gallon gas prices and cancer and Somalia and Hezbollah and Angry Jews aren’t as bad as weight gain to these girls.

Some of them have the ring-thing in their pussies, and a very few get the shot – but not many, cause the shot makes them gain weight. Which means most of these sillies are walking on set with no protection at all…even when they’re working with all those angry negroes.

Which is ok, right? Cause let’s face it – the load ends up on their face nine times out of ten. And who in the world wants to risk gaining weight in this day and age!?

Guess what, Priest? There’s also no weight gain from day-after pills and abortions.

Which brings up another thing I totally spaced on: popping The Pill on a daily basis requires just that – doing something on a daily basis. Which, for a lot of porno girls, is a very difficult thing to do. It requires commitment and memory. Stability. That sort of thing. Traits which aren’t very common amongst them.

So there you have it.

On a completely unrelated note, take a look at Jayma Reed. No, she has nothing to do with unprotected sex, or anything related to your e-mail (or my reply) whatsoever. Honest. I just wanna say – isn’t she fuckin’ smokin’ hot!? Imagine this, too – she has a brain! And can hold conversation!

Interesting conversation.

I also like having a picture on my blog – usually one that somehow ties in to what I’m writing about, and while I could illustrate today’s blog with almost every girl I’ve ever shot – including one that’s even 8 months along right now – somehow, it wouldn’t be a very nice thing to do.

Instead, Jayma Reed. Cause you probably know right now I’m very fond of her.

Ah, Jayma Reed!

Oh! Jayma Reed.

Your pal – Billy

KT writes:

1) Why do you persist with this myth about the Glory Holes and “stranger’s cocks“? Do you really think that anyone believes the girls never see the men they suck off? Even people who watch it and like it?

2) Why are you so slow to fuck Jayma and tell us about it? It’s not like either one of you are prudish or something.

Hi KT!

I’m not sure why you think a gloryhole is a “myth”, but somehow I think you’re one of the dudes who, as you put it, “watch it and like it”. I don’t blame you, really. Gloryhole blowjobs are fuckin’ hot. And fuckin’ real.

I think I’ve told the story when, as a college senior, I was pulling an all-nighter at the library, readying myself for a rather tricky quantum physics final, when, out of the blue, a dookie started knocking at my door. And I know I remember I told you I don’t like to drop a duece in a public place. I’m very sure I said it suddenly turned into a doo-or-die situation. I know I’ve never told you to count on a pornographer for bad puns. And finally, for sure, I know I told you once I placed myself on that porcelin throne – after making sure all the piss and pubic hair were off the seat (and I picked the cleanest throne in the house) (and why is it people feel the need to act like animals in public restrooms?) I sat down and looked to my right, where, indeed, 2 large holes were drilled.

Do you think people make friends at public sex spots before they commit public sex acts?

Perhaps we should point this question to George Michael.

But yea dude, they’re real. Sorry to let you down.

As for me and Jayma…well, all things that are good and made to last take time, you know? I mean sure, I coulda hired her for a “POV” or some other such nonsense…but there’s a big difference between porno sex and private sex, just like there’s a big difference between sex and love. You know what I’m saying, bro?

Which isn’t to say I love Jayma Reed.

Speaking of Jayma Reed, would ya look at that cute expression on her face! I mean really, KT…does that look like a face that had a meet-and-greet session with the dick she ended up blowing?

Keep up with the e-mails, my friends…they make my lonely day – oh! so fun.

e writes:

Billy,

e

Dear e,

“BCS” is an acronym for “Black Cock Slut”, a term that’s only popped up recently…due to the ever-growing popularity of interracial sex movies. Quite honestly, I really don’t get it…and yet, at the same time, I do.

Let me explain.

This whole myth that black guys have bigger dicks is just that – a myth. I don’t care what anyone says about this. It’s true. Trust me, I’ve seen my share of black dicks. And I know how easy it is to call me a jealous, small-dicked whiteboy; however, I’m basing what I know on what I’ve seen. I mean I could go on and on about how many interracial scenes I’ve shot, and how I shot a whole slew of amateur blacks guys that all fell into the 5-to-7 inch dick size, and that really, if you look closely, you’ll see the same huge-donged black dudes (Boz, Shane Diesel, Mandingo, and Jack Napier, for the most part) in almost every big-dicked interracial flick out there.

But I won’t.

Instead, let’s talk about what Wesley Pipes told Spring Thomas and me last weekend during the scene we shot: “I love white girls cause they never say no to a black man!”

I thought about it for a second, and Spring giggled, and I nodded in agreement.

That about sums up “BCS”. And it’s true, too. An example? How’s this: I asked Spring at the beginning of her scene for a little A.

A “little A” means some anal sex, something Spring Thomas claims to hate. She snapped “NO!” when I asked her, and I said fine, no problem.

What do you think she told Wesley Pipes when he asked for the ass, not even a half-hour after he made his statement about white girls never saying no? Do you think, e, Spring snapped “NO!” at Mister Pipes, like she did to me?

Or maybe, do you think Spring, like the true BCS she is, hoisted her fanny up in the air, spread her legs wide, and gave Wes an all-acess pass?

I’ll let you answer whenever you feel like it.

So maybe a better way to define BCS is the way Wesley did: a BCS is a white girl that can never say no to a black man.

Hope this helps!

Your pal, Billy.

Face Blaster writes:

I Shoot Porn dead? Did you give up?

Dear Face Blaster,

I Shoot Porn is not dead…far from it. I just need breaks from time to time. It’s like my porno job; one minute I love it, and the next I hate it. It’s those breaks in the middle that keep me from jumping off the bridge.

In the meantime, check out Jayma Reed, the newest Spunkmouth girl. If you ask me, she’s got the look of a girl who would choose a career in porn last out of a list of things to do in her life. Know what I mean?

Let’s pretend there’s a list called “Things To Do In My Life”, and it’s in front of Jayma, and she’s asking us to help her fill it in. Now, she’s in college (about 1/2 way through), and looking for some extra bread to get her through school before she starts her life in accounting. So, on this list I’m thinking waitress/hostess, bar tender, hotel concierge, office staff, or maybe something like retail sales.

You know, the “normal” stuff.

Getting plowed by a black dick on camera wouldn’t make my list, you know?

I shot her last week on this kooky Egyptian set.

The scenario?

She’s at the museum, and she touches the artifacts, even after the museum guard tells her not to. Guess what happens to the bad girl? Here’s the (often funny) final twist: after she’s coated in the security guard’s jizz – the same security guard who’s promised her she won’t get in any trouble for fucking in the museum cause he’s the security guard and he’ll take care of everything if they do get caught – she asks, “how do we get me cleaned up and out of here?” but, of course, the security guard wouldn’t know, cause he’s not a security guard, but just this horny dude visiting the musuem.

Clever, huh?

Anyways, I’m going to try and knock out some writing today. Let’s see how it goes. And thanks for your concern, my face-blasting friend.

Your pal,

Billy