Yearly Archives: 2007
Kenny v. Spenny
Evel Knievel: RIP
Madison Scott
Madison Scott has brand-new titties, and let me tell ya, brothas…she needed them.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m a big Madison Scott fan. I’ve hired her as much as I possibly can, and I wanna hire her more. She’s a solid performer, whether she’s eating a whole bunch of ass or jerking a dude off or sucking a wiener — with or without her glasses.
Shit, we even took a trip to the gloryhole. It took a bit of cajoling on my part, but she agreed…and followed through with it, which scored big points in my book.
Porn whores don’t come in a much better package than Miss Scott — she’s an ex-high school cheerleader who’s petite and blonde and barely-legal.
Madison Scott’s only flaw?
The Titties.
It’s not about them being small. Trust me, no ones a bigger fan of the A-Cupper than me. And if you take a close look at them, they’re pretty damn nice. But she had her back arched, so they’re pert, and the room was cold, so we had nippage…but they just aren’t as flawless as her face, or her ass.
Howard Stern does a bit when girls walk on his set to be evaluated for a potential layout in Playboy magazine. It’s simply fantastic. If you don’t know the skit, the potential Playboy model parades in front of a panel of retards and misfits who evaluate her looks…down to each and every flaw, no matter how minor.
Or major.
I don’t think I’ve ever heard of one girl getting the thumbs-up from the panel, but then again, since I lost my Sirius Radio brain, I haven’t been listening much.
If Madison would walk into Stern’s studio, the only thing they’d bag on her about are The Titties.
Not anymore. Unless you’re not a fan of silicone fun bags, which I’m not. But I am a fan about people feeling good about themselves, and if it takes a set of fake titties to make it happen, then God Bless ’em all.
Now imagine the line around the plastic surgeon’s office if adding 3 inches to a dick was as easy as a boob job.
I’m all about The Apple.
In 1981 I was a junior in high school, and I couldn’t figure out algebra.
I fared well the previous year in Geometry, but God damned algebra kicked my ass. What aggravated me the most was how easy the text book examples were, but when the book threw the actual problems at us…well, forget about it.
It was the only “D” I ever earned, and trust me, I earned it. It was also the only class I ever dropped (in high school) and, with a semester left, I needed some other “math” class to replace it.
Enter “Computers” — a brand new class my counselor pointed out — and, she assured me — the very best part of the class was the lack of any math whatsoever. I signed up on the spot.
Can you believe they gave us a math credit to sit around and play “Spelunker”? We’d have a large keyboard next to a phone, and the handset on the phone was placed over these two black suction cup thingys, and we’d dial into a mainframe somewhere, and BAM!
Spelunker!
The printer would spit out paper that told us what part of the cave we were at, and where we were going, and what kind of evil gnomes and dragons were in our path — and we’d slay them…or get slayed.
The bad news was writing programs in Basic and Pascal if we actually wanted a grade. My “programs” were as simple as my life was back then, and they amounted to multiple-choice quizzes with 4 possible answers — one of which was correct — to be presented to a classmate later. The program would tell them what questions they got right, and what ones they got wrong, and, at the end, would give them a grade printed out in the form of a report card.
For example, let’s say the dude who sat next to me was named “Joe Large”. I’d write a quiz that would ask:
1) Joe Large is
a) cool
b) smart
c) popular
d) a homo
2) Joe Large’s mother is named
a) Sue
b) Mary
c) Jane
d) Marge
and so on and so forth.
We would all laugh — even Joe Large would laugh — and then I’d write the next batch of quizzes. I’d even get a chuckle out of my teacher from time to time, and, by semester’s end, the 1/2 credit of math was all mine.
One day Teacher walked in with a box, and it was from a new company called Apple, and after he opened it and showed the Apple II off, we were all so excited we just about wet our pants. No more dial ups to the mysterious main frame! And…gasp…a monitor! You could see shit! And..gasp…two floppy drives! You could save shit and bring it home! And…gasp…memory in the form of a hard drive! 64K worth! What in the world could we do with all that space?
Write more quizzes, of course. Bigger, longer ones.
I played consumer the day after Thanksgiving and walked out of the Apple store with a big box. A new iMac! For the first time in 26 years, I’m back on a Mac. It looks so good on my desk that I kinda want to wet myself. The keyboard feels almost as good as a vagina. So, I’ve been busy dumping CD’s into iTunes, and getting used to a non-PC interface, surfing all sorts of porn sites without having to worry about Trojans and Spywear!
My iPod just synched up with my computer!!
Is it time to dump my Razor for an iPhone?!
I haven’t had this much fun since my slumber party with Barbie Cummings!
Here’s another quiz. See if you can get it right:
Billy Watson is
a) cool
b) smart
c) popular
d) a homo
I Am Off Strike
OK, I concede.
Due to the hundreds of thousands of e-mails demanding my return, I’m back.
Just don’t expect anything actually worth reading — or done in any sort of timely fashion.
Just expect The Norm.
Today’s Guest Blogger: Doron Pepperscone on porno talent
From time to time I have guests blog whatever it is they feel like blogging. I will not tell them what to blog; I won’t edit it; I won’t influence the Guest Blogger in any way.
Since I’m still holding strong with my Brethren on Strike, I’m having Doron Pepperscone take over the blog for a while. He used to be The Minion, but, like Jekyll and Hyde, Doron goes back and forth between alter-egos. He’s now calling himself Doron Pepperscone, cause that’s what Adrianna Nicole calls him.
Today, Doron’s talking about one of My Main Most Men, Johnny Fender. Oh, and that’s Barbie Cummings, right after Fender did his thang all over her glasses.
Billy Watson is in his second week of striking. I understand his bank account has forced him to a life of Top Ramen and beans. I’m making it by “toaster leavins'” which you Married…With Children fans will understand. Get back to work, Billy. Hannukah is coming soon and I’ll rent out your studio for rap videos if the money doesn’t come in.
The day to day operations of a porn website run basically the same: Book talent, shoot talent, pay talent, release product. There are many in-betweens in that but that’s how it goes on a porn set. You deal with agents and porn men and women who, at times, have attitude and think their shit don’t stink. Porn “actors” showing up after their initial call time is normal. Hell, talent flaking happens on a daily basis and that’s something the casual porn fan doesn’t realize or care to bother thinking about.
However, there are some individuals in this business who don’t annoy me to no end. I know a guy who is talent and he goes by the name of “Johnny Fender.” Johnny is one of the guys in the porn game who knows what his role is and he never comes to set with a rock star attitude that others have. Fender knows that his entire body is just a life support system for his dick that inevitably pumps in and out of the freshest chicks in the business. He’s always on time, brings his test with him which means I never get the, “Can we look it up online?” shit from him. He also doesn’t creep out the girls or fuck up his paperwork after it’s been explained to him several times. He also takes direction very well and his testicles unleash a popshot that could drown a village. Johnny Fender is used for our sites such as Manojob.com, EatSomeAss.com, TheDickSuckers.com, and Jomg.com.
Fender is a great guy and he can be booked by emailing him at Hardrock_Fender(at)yahoo(dot)com
Today’s Guest Blogger: Doron Pepperscone — “Lookin’ For Luv”
From time to time I have guests blog whatever it is they feel like blogging. I will not tell them what to blog; I won’t edit it; I won’t influence the Guest Blogger in any way.
Since I’m still holding strong with my Brethren on Strike, I’m having Doron Pepperscone take over the blog for a while. He used to be The Minion, but, like Jekyll and Hyde, Doron goes back and forth between alter-egos. He’s now calling himself Doron Pepperscone, cause that’s what Adrianna Nicole calls him.
Today, Doron’s lookin’ for luv…ladies, here’s your chance.
Seriously.
“Tha Mad Scientist”, Billy Watson, is still on strike.
In fact, last I heard he was applying for government assistance in order to weather the storm of his latest financial woes. The studio is as empty as my refrigerator the night before Yom Kippur. The last few days I’ve been going through the landfill of tapes Billy has shot on. Fuck it, I’ll cut to the chase…………I’m depressed.
Why am I in a saddened state? Well, the holiday season is drawing near and for some odd reason I’m still single when those around me are dating, mating, and spilling their DNA all over the place. Don’t get me wrong, I’m WAS working for Billy Watson editing such sites as : Manojob.com, TheDickSuckers.com, ChelciFox.com, and others I can’t speak of at the moment. That experience working for Mr.Watson (get back to work, junior) has been beneficial. I got to see the freshest pussies getting fucked on a daily basis. Handjobs and Blowjobs were the norm. However, I’m still single and my testicles are ready to explode with a force not seen since Hiroshima.
Basically I’m saying that I’m on the market and any woman can have the pleasure of wining and dining me at a location of my choice. Ladies, why wouldn’t you want this? Did your last boyfriend know every single line to Robocop? Did your last man cry at the end of the comic book where Superman dies? Let me ask you this: Did your last lover lose sleep over the Mac vs PC debate? I think not!
Ladies, hit me up at DoronPepperScone (at) yahoo (dot) com or fuck it, call me at 818-300-9637.
Tell them Large Marge sent ya!
Today’s Guest Blogger: Doron Pepperscone — “My first porn love”
From time to time I have guests blog whatever it is they feel like blogging. I will not tell them what to blog; I won’t edit it; I won’t influence the Guest Blogger in any way.
Since I’m still holding strong with my Brethren on Strike, I’m having Doron Pepperscone take over the blog for a while. He used to be The Minion, but, like Jekyll and Hyde, Doron goes back and forth between alter-egos. He’s now calling himself Doron Pepperscone, cause that’s what Adrianna Nicole calls him.
If you’d like to be a guest blogger, just e-mail me your entry, and if I like it, I’ll post it! Include any images that go along with your entry, please!
I was 14 years old and fell in love with an unattainable woman. I’ve always appeared older than my actual age. For one, I’m taller than normal and I grew facial hair when I was 12. Also, at the time I was into comic books and attended monthly conventions held at The Shrine Auditorium in Downtown L.A. I went with some buddies and made our way to the various tables which had X-Men, Spider-Man, Superman, and other comics.
All of a sudden I spotted a vendor smack dab in the middle of the place selling hardcore vhs porn. My friends dared me to walk around those tables and make as if I was interested in purchasing my first taste of hardcore smut. I took a deep breath, picked up a movie titled “Suburban Swingers” with the late Savannah on the cover and handed the guy $15 all while being nervous but hiding it well.
I was able to get the tape and was a hero to my dorky friends who a year or 2 earlier were having their Bar Mitzvahs. I got home that night and saw this Savannah chick getting nailed by Joey Silvera. The rest of the movie was great but the blonde bombshell was the kind of girl I’d want to get married to in the future. I kept stockpiling whatever movies I could find that had her in it. My friend, “H” was really digging Chasey Lain and we would debate as to which whore was superior. Around that time Savannah took her life. I found out about it in a Hustler and the world,for a split second, came to a standstill. I’ve been infatuated with many other porn chicks since then but Savannah was the first. Is it wrong to jack off to scenes of a porn chick who died 13 years ago?
Let me know at DoronPepperScone at yahoo (dot) com
Current Events
Mickey Rourke, shown here in mug shots, was arrested for driving under the influence on a green scooter, in Miami Beach, Fla., authorities said.