I don’t really get too political here. I just like to tell a good story – maybe a little rant or rave. I really try hard not to use my blog as a soapbox to air my thoughts on topics like President Bush, Right Wing Politicians, or Right-Wingers in general, including self-rightous Christians, “family oriented” groups, ect ect…all of which I really don’t like.

But it’s dad’s day, and I’m going to make an exception to the rule. Appearently A group calling itself “The Defenders” has joined forces with some other group – “Shared Hope International” – and they’re calling for a “No Porn Father’s Day”…a call that, as far as I’m concerned, is warranted.

Shit man, it’s Father’s Day. If you’re a dad, get the fuck away from your computer and spend the whole day with your kid. Do things with them you don’t get a chance to do cause all the other days in the month you’re too busy bringing home the bacon, in order to give your family the things they deserve.

In other words, don’t beat off on dad’s day; instead, spend it with your family.

If you’re a single, and there’s no kids in your world, then, as far as I’m concerned, beat off like a monkey in the zoo. Don’t even put any clothes on today. Sit in front of your computer, and if you like spending some free time waxing the old carrot to some porn, do it! That’s all it’s meant for…and that’s all porn will ever be: a masturbatory aid.

Problem is, Shared Hope International and The Defenders aren’t happy with taking a day off from porn. They want it eradicated, and they’re ready to spend a whole lotta dough airing their views over American television.

Why? They feel “…in the broader sense, we see porn as a gateway that leads to child pornography.”

This is, of course, complete and utter bullshit. Let’s get this straight: the folks whose buttons are pushed desecrating children have, for the most part, been sexually turned on by that shit since they became sexual beings at age 14 or 15…cause the whole time they were abused, too. All pedophiles were abused as children, and that’s why they do what they do as adults. Their mental illness has nothing to do with whacking it to legal porn.

Dangerous thing…making broad generalizations, huh? This is the one case where a broad generalization is true.

This idea that if you watch some porno you’ll eventually wanna watch child porn is the same idiotic thinking behind marijuana being a gateway drug to harder substances; if you smoke a joint, you’ll end up shooting heroin.

I’m doomed. See, I can’t sleep a whole night. Haven’t for years. Lately, after a glass of red wine and a couple of puffs of some very sweet chillums, I sleep like a baby. All night long. Guess heroin’s right around the corner for me. Maybe I should just get myself into a meth clinic now and save myself all the hassles.

I used to watch porn. I really don’t anymore…not since I started making it. And since I wasn’t abused a child, I have absolutely no penchant to view, make, or distribute anything that features anyone under the age of 18. (In fact, I really wish my industry would push to get the age of consent in this country upped to 21; most 18 year olds have no idea what the fuck they’re signing, whether it be a model release, car loan documents, a credit card application, or even whatever papers are they signing in order to enlist in our military.)

The folks behind the groups also say, “Real men defend women and children no matter whose daughters they are.” And I’m OK with that, to a degree. And this may sound corny, but I’ve said it before – and I’ll say it again – the greatest gift we’ve got as humans is the gift of autonomy. It’s that plain and simple. Almost no one – not even dirty, perverted pornographers – agrees that anyone should be forced to do anything against their will. And truth be told, on a porno set, no one does. They all know what they’re doing before they show up to do it. In hindsight many may feel what they did on film is a mistake…but thank God they were given the autonomy to discover being in a dirty movie was a mistake.

And guess what? There’s a lot of porno girls who love their job. I know…I meet them everyday. Fuck everyone who calls them sluts and whores and whatever else; these are the same fucktards who are pissed cause they haven’t been laid since 2003.

Anyways, out of all the networks The Defenders and Shared Hope International approached to buy ad time, they have been turned down by everyone except – you guessed it – Fox.

Enough’s enough…my rant is almost done. If you’re a dad, and you’ve got custody of your kids, and they’re there now, for heaven’s sake go out and spend time with them.

If you’re alone, and you found yourself here, at my blog, join one of my sites and pleasure yourself endlessly…until you can’t anymore. Then go grab a beer, maybe a smoke and the Sunday paper, and just go chill.

Cause tomorrow’s Monday, and we all know what that means.

I think I’ve told you this, but I watched my first porno when I was 14. Maybe 15. I think it was 1979. My best friend Biff had an older brother named Todd. Todd had a Super 8 projector hidden under his bed, along with a few Swedish Erotica titles. I remember Seka was in one, and John Holmes, and maybe Aunt Peg. They were 10, maybe 15 minutes long, and they were silent. Maybe they had sound, but I don’t think Todd’s projector had sound. Maybe the sound didn’t work.

Maybe Todd was so paranoid his parents would hear it – even though they were never home when it was “movie time” – he simply turned the sound off.

It was then I saw a girl take a cum shot to the face, and my brain just melted down. What in the world just happened? Whatever it was, certainly it wasn’t “natural”…and how much did they pay that girl to do something like that? Maybe they tricked her? Held a gun to her head?!

A few years later my pal Garry got the first generation of VHS players. What a machine! His dad paid something like 3 grand for the monster, and it had its own place next to the T.V., on its own shelf, and it was covered with a thick plastic cover – almost more like vinyl than plastic – to protect it from the elements.

Of course we weren’t allowed to touch it unless Garry’s dad was present. And no movies with an R rating…PG and G only.

We broke all the rules, right away.

My first trip into the video store with Garry resulted in the Sly Stallone / David Carradine masterpiece Death Race 2000. Garry had one other VHS – and to this day I’m not sure how he got it. His dad guided us through starting up the VHS player and properly loaded the casette, then he took off and told us not to touch anything until he got home. As his car drove away, Garry ejected Death Race and popped in – you guess it – a porno. I wish I could remember the title. I do remember what the final scene was…the scene to top all of them: the girl got butt fucked. Right up her pooper. A trip down Hershey Highway.

Was that natural? How much did they pay that girl to do that? Did they hold a gun to her head?

In the years to come, I remember a Ginger Lynn scene called “Dance of the Double Dong” which was maybe the first double vag scene ever caught on film; not too much longer I saw a D.P. scene and thought what the fuck is next?!; when I first saw a bukkake scene again it was oh my lord what in the world is next?!; on my first trip to Paris almost a decade ago I hit a porn store only to see beastiality, poopy and piss movies, and movies featuring 16 and 17 year old girls (the age of consent there is 16) and my skull just about melted – in a bad way. The internet has brought us such gems as Meat Holes, and Piss Mops, and most recently my partner B. pointed out the “Donkey Punch” booth at AVN’s.

Was that natural? How much did they pay that girl to do that? Did they hold a gun to her head?

Check it out – I shot this Mandingo Erin Moore Keani Lei scene for Blacks On Blondes. I mean honestly…isn’t Mandingo’s 15 incher enough? Do you really need guys with 20 inch dicks? And are those things actually real?

I’m not going to name the site, but I know girls who’ve worked for it, and they told me the truth…but still, to see they’re really fake is…a relief?

Shit, I dunno.

What’s next?

A stick of dynamite in her pussy?

A 1,000 man gang bang?

How ’bout the entire straight male population of a small state like Rhode Island or Vermont on a barely-legal in pigtails, sucking on a tootsie-pop? Shoot it at a Costco or a Sam’s Club…I think they’d all fit in there. In fact, have her shopping for tootsie-pops in a mini-skirt, then have her bend over to pick something up, when suddenly all of them come running out of the frozen food section just to fill all her tight teen holes.

And before you know it, that scene will be an old hat, too.