Super Fun E-mails

Super fun e-mails.

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Cherry's Handjob

Dane writes:

Hey man, big fan of your blog, I check it every couple days. The behind the scenes look at the porn industry is fascinating to me, more so than the actual films a lot of times. I jump right to the extras on most porn dvds.

Anyway, if you take suggestions there’s an amazing looking hotty named Miss Meadow whose myspace I found, and then scenes I bought, and she even replied to a few loser messages of mine. I think she could be great for your sites, and she seems up for anything other than anal, which shouldn’t be a huge problem for most of your sites.

As for the question, I’m a huge fan of porn star interviews and bios, ’cause I like to know a little something about the girls. Not personal information, I’m not a crazy sumbitch, but more to the point I like to know the girls are into sex in their private lives… that they might have a threesome or something on a Saturday night, as well as in front of the camera. It just makes the scenes hotter to me. When you post stuff like the recent Cherry Poppins blog, where you say she told you wild stories from her past, it wets my damn appetite! I can’t imagine a porn star would mind sharing, so let loose some info!

I know you’re selling a fantasy, but personally I like to know I’m watching a girl do something she might do off camera. I don’t think that’s too insane, and if it is, shit… it’s porn… I’m allowed to be a little freaky about it.

Dane

Hi Dane!

I know all about Miss Meadow, but at the time I saw her, she was repped by an agent I won’t do business with; then, like all of them, she disappeared.

I agree with you, too. When I was a porno consumer, I loved the BTS and interview scenes. More than the porno itself.

Funny you mention Cherry Poppens. I just got off the phone with her. For real. She’s in Florida, shooting for the Bang Brothers. She got in last night and hit the hotel bar, where she met a “cute” guy and another guy…appearently, just a normal Joe. And sure enough, she winds up in bed with both of them, naked.

Cherry’s gonna do an anal scene for the Bang Bros., and she brought a butt-plug with her to loosen up her butt a little. It makes the anal sex a bit easier. So she tells the Cute Guy that she’s a porn star, and what scene she’s gonna do, and then, in typical porno slut fashion, she pulls out the butt plug and asks if she can stick it up Cute Guy’s ass.

“Only if you do it first,” Cute Guy says.

Cherry looks over at Normal Joe, who really isn’t going for threesome – he’s happy just to watch – and she says “Gimme the lube!”

Cherry first.

Cute Guy second.

This is about the time Cherry turned Normal Joe into her “bitch”, which was just fine with Normal Joe.

“Where’s the ashtray?! Where’s my drink?! Gimme some more lube!!” – all while getting pounded by Cute Guy. They fucked until 6 in the morning. I’m not sure if Cute Guy still had the plug up his butt. I forgot to ask Cherry if he ever took it out. It wouldn’t surprise me if he left it in the whole time, to tell you the truth.

The irony here? Well, we’ve been shooting these insane scenes for the Spring Thomas site, which Cherry has PA’d for me, and they’re almost identical to what went down in her hotel room last night…except Cute Guy wasn’t black…and no butt plugs were involved.

You should check out Manojob, Dane, cause Cherry was one of our latest updates, and her scene ruled. Oh, And you’re no loser, brotha, just cause you wanna e-mail a porn star.

Your pal, Billy.

stories from porno land (some amusing, some not)

Devon Lee, Missy Monroe, James Franco, and Cherry Poppens

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Devon Lee

Interesting things seem to happen to me more in L.A. more than Phoenix, and I suppose that’s a good thing. Here’s a quick list of the fun adventure that was today:

1) Devon Lee shows up for her Blacks on Blondes scene, but first, we take the white van out the the Gloryhole. The Gloryhole was totally non-eventful, if you can ever call sucking a stranger’s dick in an adult bookstore a “non-event”.

2) The Blacks on Blondes scene after was more of an event: Joachim, the European porno bro, is in the U.S., so I booked him. Joachim is a strong performer, but you can’t really rely on him much for dialogue…that is, any dialogue in English. He’s getting a massage from Devon, and she flips him over right away for the happy ending kind of massage you get in those Jack Shacks; however, Joachim decides to fuck her as a few brothers stroll in to the scene. All three brothers drop a load on her face before Joachim finishes all over her BA-gina.

3) Missy Monroe strolls in a few minutes after we wrap. She’s bad to the bone. She simply exudes sexuality, even if it’s just in a pair of sweats and the wife beater she showed up wearing. We meet. I tell her I saw her at AVN’s in Vegas and wanted to say introduce myself, but there were about a million fans surrounding her, and that’s just not the place/time to do such a thing. Then we jump in the van and go back out to the gloryhole.

4) I decide I like the massage therapist scenario so much I do it again, but this time Missy “double books” two black guys, just so she can get her pussy double-stuffed with black dick. You read right: double vag…with black guys. Not that double vag with white guys is any easier, but it just sounds better when black dick’s involved, you know?

5) Cherry Poppens has been my PA lately. She’s also one of the latest Mano Job updates. But she wants to wind down from the porno scene, so I’m training her on 2257 stuff, and loading cameras, and meeting/greeting talent, and, from time to time, I even let her shoot scenes for my gay site: No Way Am I Gay. So this black dude’s there to shoot, and he’s a pretty small dude with a giant black ding-dong. Problem is, he can’t make it squirt, so we had to work around that problem…which is a pretty big problem to work around. But we managed.

6) We head out for dinner – me and Cherry – and I listen to her tales of adolescent misadventure. They’re pretty amazing, like most porno girls’ tales are, and after dinner we’re walking down the street when I see this dude who’s so handsome it’s ridiculous. He’s the kind of handsome even a straight dude like me realizes and thinks something like shit, that dude has no problem getting laid. He’s the kind of handsome that deserves a good industrial accident. So I point him out to Cherry and say something like, “we need to book him for No Way Am I Gay. He’d be good I bet.” I say it loud, so he can hear it, just to be goofy, and that’s when Cherry freezes in her tracks, squeezes my arm really hard, and bites her lip. Then she starts walking real fast, and pulls me along, as whispers in my ear, “Shit, do you know who that is?” I don’t, and she tells me, and she brings up the Spiderman movies, and I’m like “oh yea, I know” and that’s that, I guess…

But I knew it: he’d be good business for my site.

Missy Monroe

Here's the Skinny on Your Favorite Star

Aurora Snow in the Interracial Sauna

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Aurora Snow

Aurora Snow’s a porn star. A pretty big one, too.

A long time ago she made the trip up the hill to Dogfart’s Secret Mansion for a day of fun & black dick. I wasn’t there, so I really can’t tell you much about it. I mean the Aurora Snow interracial sex scene shot in one of the bedroom’s saunas at The Mansion turned out very, very hot. That’s all I can say.

I remember being at the Producer’s house after they shot Aurora, but before I started working for him – and I was going through his (already) growing stack of 2257 info.

2257: it’s the Federal Law that mandates adult content producers keep paperwork on anyone who does anything dirty in a movie. It proves everyone appearing in that movie are of legal age, which, for the U.S., is 18. They’re kinda cool to thumb through, cause you see everyone’s real name, real ID’s, where they live…the whole she-bang. And not being in the business makes 2257 paperwork even more fascinating than it already is…so, needless to say, I was really flipping through those papers that day, snooping out everything I could: the best part being the girls’ real names.

“Holy shit! You guys shot Aurora Snow! I just saw her on something, somewhere!”

It’s true, I had…almost 4 years ago, and back then, Aurora was the new kid on the block. I had seen her, and now I was really seeing her…her true identity, that is. It kinda blew me away, to tell you the truth. It makes these girls real; I guess that’s the best way to put it.

A few months later I was at The Mansion, just starting to shoot, and everything was still fascinating. I’d meet the girls at the door, and walk them up to the bathroom, and get the something to drink…you know, just basically kiss ass. And that was good, cause S.S. and Justin Timberlakefeelsyourpain were already over it.

All of it.

Like I am, now.

Anyway, Aurora’s gone on to do some pretty big things – directing for a huge company just being one of them. She hasn’t been bookable for quite sometime…until just recently. My pal Joel runs an agency, and sure enough, Aurora showed up on his site. And I was over at Joel’s when Aurora came strolling in, and it’s funny…but I was kinda starstruck. Like in the old days. Aurora was one of the last girls I wanked to before getting into this silly biz (the other being Kacey), and here she was now, in front of me, and I felt like I did at that door at The Mansion three years ago.

Funny how things change.

Joel introduced us, and we chatted it up a bit, and she looks great, even though she’s not 18 anymore. (Imagine being in a business where 24 is kinda over the hill.)

I said something like “maybe we can work together sometime” and she said “yea, sure!” and that’s that. She walked away, and I sat back down with Joel, and we went over some more girls that I could book in the future for the sites I shoot. In an instant, it was back to business with Joel again.

Funny how things change.

Super Fun E-mails

Super fun e-mails.

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Miles

Justin writes:

How did you become what you are today? I am sure that you didn’t put “Future Pornographer” in your Senior Yearbook, and I don’t think there’s a “Filming Broads Fucking 101” course in college (but wouldn’t it be super if there was?) So how did you become super pornographer? And where can I sign up? Porn has always been something that interests me, not just for the sexual aspects but for the psychological aspects well. I am too shy (and not in shape) to get in front of the camera, but I would love to direct. How do you get into shooting these scenes? Is it difficult? Is it the same as shooting a regular movie? This just seems like something real interesting to me, if you could give me any information I would greatly appreciate it. I love your site man, keep it up.

Hi Justin!

Let me tell you who I am: an ex-jock flop turned car salesman, bar room bouncer, construction laborer, substitute teacher, “real” teacher, stocks and bond salesman, jewlery cleaner salesman, adjunct professor, used bookstore manager, human resource manager – with an undergraduate degree and a couple master’s degrees to boot.

Big whoop.

I’m certainly not a “super-pornographer”, nor do I aspire to be one. I don’t think many people aspire to a career in the adult entertainment field; it just happens. Although if you asked some of the kids I hung out with in high school, some of them might have pegged me as a porno director.

Well, probably not.

I was told, about three years ago, that “due to a lack of diverisification in the hiring pool” the highly-competitive job I was in the running for was no longer being offered. Do I need to tell you I was one of those three? Or the other two left in their “hiring pool” were white folks? This was after spending 3 years at the place, killing my superiors with my awesome skills (both in computer hacking and nunchucks), as well as scoring super high in all my evaluations. 400 people applied for that job; I was one the last of the Mohicans…and in the end, they killed us all.

Actually, looking back at it now, too bad I’m not a Mohican. I would have had the job.

Meanwhile, my porno pals were raking in large sums of money every month, so I went to them after I cleaned out my desk. One of them gave me a shot.

So here I am, almost 4 years later, still in the middle of the muck, working my way from rags to riches. Well, not really riches. Not yet, certainly. And as far as qualifications in this business – like everything else in life – it’s not what you know, but who you know. (My aplogies for the cliche). Shit, I certainly didn’t know much to start with…except I liked watching people fuck on camera. But it wasn’t like I was one of those dudes with a zillion mags hidden under my bed or anything; I just rented a movie or two every once in a while when I was feeling a bit anxious, you know? Anyways, the first year my job was interesting and fun; the second year it was interesting; the third year has been neither interesting nor much fun.

Kinda like law school, I suppose.

And thanks for the kind words. It’s e-mail like yours that make me smile each and every day. So march on, Christian Soldiers!

Your pal – Billy.

Here's the Skinny on Your Favorite Star

Blacks on Liv Wylder with a Cuckold to boot.

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Liv Wylder

Sometimes, I’m worried I might be going to hell when I die. It’s not so much cause I shoot porn in general that’s sending me to that firey hole upon passing, it’s some of the sceanrios I’ve dreamt up that might put me there.

The Producer said it first, after seeing these Spring Thomas pictures: “Dude, we’re both going to hell for this one.”

I kinda disagree; it’s the Liv Wylder story I’m about about to spin that’s got me worried.

I booked Liv through Lauren Phoenix. At the time, Lauren thought she could handle an agency. I liked Liv’s looks, and the fact that (at the time) she was a new comer, and, of course, she was blonde and willing to do pretty much anything with a black guy.

First up? The secret gloryhole. She was totally into blowing a stranger in a filthy place, like they all are. Bladda bladda blah.

Then, we got back in time for the real fun – Liv was taking on BOZ the Animal and Mandingo. She’s looking at 25 inches of pleasurable pain – but have her cuckold husband watching all that black dick go in and out of her, and I was quite certain I was creating an interracial sex classic, if such a thing exists.

Well, her husband really didn’t watch – cause he couldn’t. I made him get locked into a cage we had on set for a while – a cage that had a soft bed on top for sex, while some poor, pathetic gimp was locked up below and couldn’t see a thing. Like I said…instant interracial classic.

Now, I’d like to point something out: this really wasn’t her husband, although Liv’s married. I mean when I pan in to her wedding ring, right before all the sex is about to go down, yea, that’s really her wedding ring. But I hired a member from Blacks On Blondes to play cuckold, cause these silly cuckolds write us a million letters a day wanting to be cuck’d on film. Don’t get me wrong: Liv played up like it was her hubby; Liv made fun of her “hubby” while she was getting pounded; Liv had her “hubby” beat off into a bowl and seal it shut and make him take it to the fridge after the black guys had their way with Liv; thus, the fantasy for the Blacks On Blondes members was complete.

I’d also like to point out I’ve hired a lot of married couples – real couples – where hubby is a cuckold.

Did I mention I fed Liv all sorts of lines like, “call your husband pathetic!” and “say your husband can’t fuck you properly!” and “call your husband worthless and weak!” and “say your husband can’t get it up!”, and, like a good sport, Liv did everything I asked.

With a smile on her face.

Fast forward to this year’s AVNs. There’s Liv! I’m excited, cause I really like Liv, and I’d like to think Liv likes me, and we hugged, and we chatted, and I took a pic of her, and we chatted some more, and then a dude in a wheelchair rolled up. I’m thinking it’s a fan looking for a picture, or an autograph, or both. Then Liv introduces me to her husband.

And I’m introduced as the director for Blacks on Blondes, and it doesn’t hit me immediately, cause my brain’s kinda mushy…but after about a minute of chatting it up with Liv’s hubby, I remember the scene. Has Liv shown her husband the scene? Am I man enough to ask?

“Uh, I need to pee. See ya Liv! Nice meeting you, too!” And I bolt.

I wonder if I can do that at the Pearly Gates, when Saint Peter greets me. Create some sort of diversion upon meeting him. The “I’ve got diarrhea” excuse works everytime, cause no one ever wants to question a poor soul with diarrhea.

I wonder if there’s even a toilet nearby those pearly gates, where I could hide in a stall, forever.

I wonder if that’s really Purgatory.

I wonder.

Liv Wylder

random raves

Porn Statistics

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Miles

I love looking at my traffic stats. It’s not like I have a lot of traffic, but I get some. And my nifty software can trace what people type into a search engine – Google being the most popular by far – and end up here, at my blog. The top search engine terms for my blog are obvious: “Jasmine Tame” and “Riley Mason” and “Spring Thomas” and “Julia Bond“.

It’s the one-and-two hit search engine terms that crack me up. And I mean exactly that…the following 20 terms, shown here verbatim, were typed into one of the major search engines. What the fuck? I wonder how Google even sends these folks my way! I mean honestly, check some of these out, (and imagine some fat, horny old man, drunk off his ass at 3 in the morning (on a Tuesday) looking for some of this shit):

1) “18 year old bunny the cheerleader fucking wesley pipes” – well, this one kinda makes sense. I’ve never heard of “Bunny the Cheerleader”, but I know Wesley Pipes very well, and I remember blogging about Paige Morgan, the North American Snow Bunny, so…like I said, this one makes sense. Kinda, anyway.

2) “how to make her cum with your hand” – Poor guy. Can’t get his chick off, and he’s scouring the web in order to make the little Missus happy. Here’s a little trick I learned from haning around porno folks: insert two fingers, the middle and fourth finger, into the vagina, push up (lightly) towards her belly button, and turn both fingers in a circular motion. Add some stimulus to her clit with your thumb, and she should be one happy camper.

3) “sex sex sex sex sex porn porn porn porn porn porn” – that’s right. That’s exactly what some dope typed into Google. If “sex” and “porn” wasn’t enough, he did it another 4 times each.

4) “hiding things in my pussy” – Um, ok. Like what? Secret treasure? Or just a map to secret treasure? A gun? Something you’re not supposed to have, like a lighter on an airplane?

5) “the life of a porn camera man” – like anyone would want to know about this.

6) “dj. fingaz shake that shit julia bond” – Fingaz and Julia are in love. They love each other very much. They make a great couple. I have no idea why/what this foolio was looking for, exactly, when he typed this into Google, but there ya go. Fingaz and Julia are in love. They love each other very much.

7) “how to get a porn site started and get paid” – Don’t bother. There’s no money in internet porn. Really, there isn’t. Move on.

8) “big loads hot spunk gay flying” – What exactly is going on here? I mean I get the first parts…big loads, hot spunk. But gay flying? Like homos having sex in a plane? I dunno how to even comment.

9) “guys who like to get gang fucked up the ass for home made porn” – This one terrifies me.

10) “gay cholos and cholos having sex with guys” – God damn this guy is a genius. Why didn’t I come up with this one?? It should do very well as a paysite. Oh, wait a second. There’s no money in internet porn. Forget I even said this.

11) “is mandingo bigger than jack napier?” – Yes, but I’ve blogged this already.

12) “chico wang chinese actor” – How about that, Chico?! Could they be searching for one of your proteges, like Bejing Bang? Or Hung Lo? HAHAHAHAHA. Oh, by the way…I think I still owe you some money. Call me bro.

13) “shoot a load up her nose” – another internet genius.

14) “how much dick could a dicksucker suck if a dicksucker could suck dick” – I shit you not this one is real. Say it three times, real fast.

15) “riley mason is in alot of porn” – Yes, she is, and rightly so!

16) “apply to be a porno star” – Riggght. Like there’s an application even involved. Oh, and don’t forget your updated resume!

17) “pics of people having sex while scuba diving” – You know I’m PADI certified? I got certified in Maui, like a decade ago. It was fun. I saw a lot of things in the ocean. Some of them scared me. It was kind of weird breathing underwater, especially when you’re, like, 25 feet deep, and there’s big creatures very close to you. The very thing that NEVER crossed my mind once was having sex there.

18) “black midget lil pimp porno forum” – Lil’ Pimp, for those who don’t know, is a black midget. He’s also a porn star. He’s also credited in some movies as “Lil’ Pimp Hand”, a name I like much more. As you can see, he’s got a slightly bigger than average dick on a little bitty body. This, of course, makes his penis look gigantic. He’s been in a few dirty movies. That’s about all there is to say about him. How anyone could create a forum around Lil’ Pimp baffles me. But I’m easily confused. Perhaps it was Lil’ Pimp, searching himself?

19) “waxed ass finger cum.com” – Is there something here I haven’t heard about? Waxed Ass Finger might really be a great name for a punk rock band. Well, now that I think about it, probably not.

20) “jenna jameson being gang banged” – Puh-leaze. Shit, when Jenna was cool she didn’t do gang bangs. Now she’s just doing her goofy husband on film. Oh, and really hot chicks. But still…how fuckin’ lame is that?

Damn, just looking at my stats, I could go on and on. This might turn into a monthly thing for me. And no, really…I didn’t make any of these up. Again, I repeat: someone, somewhere, typed those exact phrases into a search engine and found my blog.

And just when I thought it didn’t get any wierder.

Here's the Skinny on Your Favorite Star

Spring Thomas and Mandingo

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Spring Thomas and Mandingo

The Producer thought it would never happen.

I made it happen.

Mandingo is somewhat urban legend, even in the porn biz. When he’s available to producers, he’s really picky about the work he’ll take. Most of the time he isn’t available to producers – cause he’s nearly always on some sort of contract – and that just adds to his almost mythical status.

Make no mistake about it, Mandingo has the biggest dick in porn. Hands down. Take it from me, who’s shot every black guy in the biz – save Lex Steele and Sean Michaels – and trust me, Lex comes close, and Sean doesn’t. In fact, Mandingo may have the biggest dick in the history of porn, which is something I’ve briefly mentioned here before. I think he’s bigger than Holmes, and Dick Rambone was this cat in the 80’s that had a huge one, but it didn’t work…and Mr Bigg’s doesn’t ever work…and there’s no white guys I know of that come close…now or then.

Yes, it’s bigger than Shane Diesel (but not by much). Yes, he’s bigger than Jack Napier (barely). And here’s a pic of Spring measuring a huge black dick (a little under 11 inches) so I’m gonna go out on a limb and say Dingo’s clocking in at almost 13 inches.

Imagine that. I don’t even care what business you’re in: having the biggest thing of anything in an industry that’s driven by size.

Imagine having a 13 inch ding dong.

Anyways, I have an agent friend who had Dingo’s number, but he told me Dingo wouldn’t be cheap…but that was OK by me. He shouldn’t be cheap. I placed the call, left a message on his voice mail, and waited a few weeks. I didn’t follow up a bunch of times…didn’t bug him. I just waited.

Out of the blue Mandingo called and asked what I wanted.

“I want to hire you for a website I shoot. It’s called Spring Thomas.”

He didn’t really say anything other than “I’ll get back to you.”

Which means he’s going to go home, type-in S-P-R-I-N-G-T-H-O-M-A-S to see if he wants to fuck her or not.

Do I need to tell you he called me back the next day? And within a week, I had Mandingo on my set. The Producer couldn’t believe it; in fact, I think he said something like Mandingo’s gonna flake – you watch and see. Then he tossed out some myth about Dingo…a few of which I don’t remember, except the best one ever: that his dick was so huge he had to have a blood transfusion right before he went to work. Oh, and that he couldn’t keep his dick hard for too long, or he’d pass out from lack of blood to his brain.

I’m not making any of this up. And none of it’s true.

I gotta admit I was intimidated by Dingo, but all in all, he turned out to be a cool cat. He’s quiet, doesn’t say much, and likes to smoke a cig and sip a Heineken before he walks on set. I got to work with him 4 times for Spring’s site:

Spring Thomas and Mandingo, scene 1: Spring’s looking for new guys, and Mandingo comes in for the interview. Spring and Dingo meet, and after some very serious interview questions, Spring asks if Mandingo is packing over 8 inches – her minimum for doing a guy. Sex follows.

Spring Thomas and Mandingo, scene 2: There wasn’t much of a cheezy porn scenario here, cause sometimes they’re funny and I like them, and most of the time they’re dumb and I hate them. I think she just introduces him. Sex follows.

Spring Thomas and Mandingo, scene 3: Kinda cute. Spring just turned 21. I have a present for her. Guess who? Sex follows.

Spring Thomas and Mandingo, scene 4: Spring invites Kelly Wells to her site to share Mandingo’s big fat love. There’s absolutely no sceanrio here; I just have the girls blowing his huge dick as I fade in. More sex follows.

Well, I booked Mandingo for some scenes at Blacks On Blondes, too, and I’ll talk more about that some other time. And I can’t book him now – haven’t been able to for quite some time. Hopefully I can soon, cause, I think, if Webster’s ever tried to define “interracial sex” or someone ever tried to explain the myth of big black dick, there would just be a picture of Mandingo there.

Spring Thomas and Mandingo

Whatever Happened to Her?

Spunkmouth Kate Lynn

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Kate Lynn

He came packing heat, and I don’t mean in his pants.

Wait, let me back up.

I booked Kate Lynn the second I saw her pics. She’s the quintessential girl next door, and she really hadn’t made any dirty movies up to that point, so I was all over her. The agent told me she’d only fuck her dude, which worked fine for me. I mean I really don’t give a shit who the male talent is, as long as they have a hard dick and two balls full of goo.

Here’s a little secret: sometimes we lie about who the male talent is. Yea, we lie. It dirtys-up the whore a little bit if they’re fucking a stanger instead of their dude, so we usually say the dude is a “member” or “someone we found” somewhere. Like I said, as long as the dude can keep it up and spray her down with jizz, it doesn’t matter to me.

They showed up on a Tuesday afternoon, which has no significance to the story; however, the dude, who was about 5’4″ and weighed maybe 140 pounds, was carrying a firearm that was bigger than his left leg – which is significant.

Guns freak me out. I hate them. Nothing good ever happens when there’s a gun involved, and I really wish our Founding Fathers had the foresight to make the Second Amendment read something like “you must pass a general IQ test that establishes a score of 100 or higher in order to carry a firearm” cause most of the people who like guns – and tote them around – have the IQ of a rat…but a very smart rat: one of those science rats that get through the maze with tasty treats.

I held my hand out to shake his and said, “Um, I’m Billy, and I gotta ask you to keep that firearm in your car.” Then, I told him my feelings about guns…except the IQ part.

He wasn’t down. He agreed to take the gun off his hip, and Kate Lynn could keep it in her purse, but due to “creepy producers” he would not leave the gun in his car.

I totally respected that, and I told him so, and the gun went into Kate Lynn’s purse, and eventually the purse went in the closet. Did I mention it was a really big gun? And it was loaded? And it barely fit in Kate Lynn’s purse?

Me and Kate Lynn and the Dude ended up hitting it off just fine. We had to run up to the local sex shop, cause Kate Lynn’s got some tats, and while I like tats, I kinda don’t like tats in my movies. So we got her a body stocking, and that worked fine. The amateur sex movies turned out off the hook. Dude did a great job pounding Kate Lynn, and I gotta tell ya…when it works, couple’s sex works really well. They know each other, and if you don’t over-direct them – and just let them do what they do in their bedroom – the scenes usually end up kicking ass. Dude’s dick stayed hard, and his balls were very full; Kate Lynn needed a shower after it was all said and done.

They signed their paperwork, we said our goodbyes, and we laughed about the gun thing. I never really spoke them that after that. Once or twice, maybe, to get them some work on some of my other sites. And about six months after that, I saw Kate Lynn’s pic on a local Jack Shack’s website.

I wonder if she’s packing heat in her purse over there.

Kate Lynn