The desert between Phoenix and Los Angeles is vast and lifeless, and that gives me some time to think whenever I’m making the drive out to work.

I live in Phoenix; I make my money in Los Angeles.

I’ve gone back and forth on just making the move to LA – packing all my shit in a UHaul, and my dogs and cats – but damn, there’s so much to hate about this place. And it’s not just the traffic. It really comes down to there’s just too many people crammed into one spot…even though the spot is really big. Besides, moving depresses me enough to stay put.

I just got out of my car; it’s Monday night, and I dragged my stuff up to the studio. My pal V. helped me up. V’s a B movie actor, and he’s excited, cause he’s writing a movie about a werewolf that’s trapped in a women’s prison.

“So you’re shooting for both the horror and women’s prison fanatics?”

“Um, yea,” V. says, and he looks at me like I’m kinda dumb.

“Lotsa lesbo action I hope.”

“Of course. It takes place in a women’s prison.” And he looks at me like I’m really stupid.

I ask V. if he wants any porno phone numbers, and he does; four of them, to be exact, and we talk about which four he wants.

I suggest Spring Thomas and Julia Bond, just cause they kick a whole bunch of ass – including werewolf ass. He listens, thanks me, and he’s off. Which gets me to think a bit more about what it would be like if a werewolf were trapped in a women’s prison…and even though it’s really a silly idea, there’s something about it that will probably work.

I’m hunkering down for the night. I’ve got my iTunes locked to Indie PopRocks! on SOMA FM, which is all I ever listen to – that and Howard Stern on Sirius. The space heater makes my room comfy, and while I go over my schedule for tomorrow’s scenes, I’m thinking that right now, at this very moment in time, my life is pretty good.

I spent the 6 hour drive on the phone, mostly: I confirmed a bunch of my shoots this week, and spoke to some friends. Spring Thomas told me all about her day, and the classes she ditched, and the classes she went to; Makenzie Wilson chatted me up about her blog; my mom wanted to make sure I was OK; I stopped at the Bose store and got a carrying case for my SoundDock; I ate Japanese soup and a chocolate chip muffin; I thought a lot about nothing much.

Yo La Tengo sings Double Dare and there’s a hum in the studio that never goes away.

OK: so it’s Erin Moore on Tuesday. (This, of course, will be yesterday in real time, cause Tuesday’s my cartoon day, and by the time you actually read this it’ll be Wenesday!) Erin’s got a new name, and a new site, but who knows how long it’s gonna be before the site’s up. She’s working with a new girl named Page Morgan. I met Page at the Porno Hotel on Winetka in Chatsworth; I think at any one time there’s like 20 porno chicks from out of town staying there. I knew I’d like Page from the second we met cause she smiled a lot and she has a title from a Clash song tattooed on her arm.

Know Your Rights! These are your rights…

Page is gonna do a b/b/g from Blacks On Blondes tomorrow, too. “B/B/G” is pornospeak for what I used to call a “2 on 1” before I got in the biz.

Wenesday (today) it’s Phoebe, and she’s about as cute as they come. She’s going to work with Erin Moore, then we’re driving out to the Gloryhole. Should make for a fun day.

Thursday is Spring Thomas day! She’s got a cuckold in the morning; then, I think, she’ll do a b/g and I might hire some load dumpers to come drop one or two or three on her after she’s done fucking.

Friday is a new girl, for a new site, and it’s a secret, and The Producer is all excited about it, and I suppose I am, too.

Then it’s back to Phoenix. Next week I’m actually going to take a week off and go to London and check out England. I hear the Jack The Ripper walking tour is kinda cool. I know I’ll look at art, too. The Magna Carta. The Rosetta Stone.

Anything but porn.

See, I told you I’m into the psychology of porn lately, so I wanted to show you this, from a popular fan-based chat board; it’s a thread called What do you want in today’s filthy porno vids? and here’s some of the fans’ replies, listed in no particular order:

1) “Personally, I know I want to see more slapping, beating, and just general roughness! We need to amp up the energy!”

2) “… we need to see less chicks with tatoos and fake tits.”

3) “… there should be lots of humiliation too. Piss in her mouth, make her choke on it and cry.”

4) “I’d surely love to see some more fetish get worked in,such as foot worship,smothering,and tickling,since it would be pretty fun to see the actresses attempt to hold themselves from maniacally giggling.”

5) “What do I like to see? More slapping, humiliation, general degradation. Love it! It’s a big thrill to see these women truly degraded on film, it’s all in the reality! Remember, the audience is very sensitive to just how hard guys slap the whores. These guys who hit softly should just do vanilla work, they can’t do rough porn. I remember from Slap Happy that you [Billy’s note: referring to my pal Brandon Irons’s line of DVD’s] have a talent for verbal humiliation, like to see you use that more.”

6) “I would like to see girls puke up by the throughtfucking. Why not Two girls drinking a lot of milk and then puke it al over each other? Then I would like to see girls handcopted on their back when they been throughtfucked. Finally, I want to see legs wide spread real gymnastic, holding them out by another girl ore by a gang.”

7) “I wanna see BLACK GIRLS TAKIN’ IT DEEP IN THE ASS!!! I wanna see porn’s most depraved-hardcore-merciless- asspounding studs make black chick’s assholes look like Sammy Davis Jr. with his eye out.”

8) “Several minutes of non-stop action where a group of guys take turns using there cocks to slap a starlets face as hard as she can take it. Not just a few half harded taps, but several hundred hard core wacks are administered during the scene until the starlets cheeks and forehead are a flushed rosy pink or even beet red.Spitting on her face and hair in between or during cock slaps is optional. Bukkake style facial follows.”

9) Asshole sucking: A circle jerk scene where our starlet is made to lick, tongue fuck and suck real hard on each guys asshole, one after the other until she’s told to stop.”

10) “The car wash treatment: Several guys dump hudge loads of cum all over the womens enire face. One guy or women then uses his or her hand to rub, spread and smear the cum into her face with such vigor that it resembles a simonize job.Nice and frothy. Then our starlet models the artwork for us viewers to enjoy.”

And since I’m having so much fun reading these, one more, just for your pleasure: “Face humping: Several guys take turns holding the women by her hair while humping her face with there cocks like a dog humps a persons leg.The guys use there cocks to smear the pre-cum, cum and spit all over her face.”

Man, there’s a lot of pent-up anger out there; I’m so glad I was born a dude. And, as a director/producer, I gotta tell ya, even if it means losing money, or changing my job, I ain’t shooting this…the closest I come is number nine.

All this silly stuff is just bad for business, and, even though I’m all about a person’s autonomy, um…nope. I ain’t buying it.

No sir.

I’ve been big lately on psychology and our upbringing, and the way it relates to porn, although I never really studied psych in school – besides the obligatory Psych 101. Anyway, I’m always looking for ties to why people do what they do. Cause we live in a crazy world. And it all comes back to what happened to us when we were young.

As it relates to porn? Well, I’ll get to that…but this goes not only for the talent in my business, but for what you and I look for when we look at porn as consumers.

See, I’m a big fan of facials, and lately, I think I know why. And before that, for a very short time and a very long time ago, I was a huge fan of lesbians…again, I think I know why.

I’ll start with the lesbian thing first: it’s 1977, and I’m in 7th grade, and about 3 blocks away from where I was living then, lay the desert. The wide open, rattlesnakes and scorpions, desert. Now it’s a strip mall, but then, you could find a horny toad, a scorpion, and a rattlesnake if you turned over the three closest rocks.

We also found a pile of stroke mags once, under a Palo Verde tree, and as secretly as possible, we hustled them back to our fort. What a haul! It was better than sunken treasure: tons of Oui, Playboy, Penthouse, and the very best of the lot – Hustler. What filth! And it was in that pile o’ gold I saw my first pics of girl-on-girl sex, and it made my head spin.

Our fort turned into a lending library for all the boys in the neighborhood.

I couldn’t think of anything else for the next, say, 2 years. On the way to school, it was all about girls licking each other’s boobies. I’d be in Mr. Boswell’s algebra class, thinking about girls making out. In PE class, girls licking each other’s vaginas. After school, I’d race to the fort and grab something off the circulation desk – usually a Hustler – and head home and beat my meat until I couldn’t anymore. Or, until it was time for dinner. Usually while listening to Boston’s first record, or Frampton Comes Alive.

Things all changed in 9th grade. I was 14. My pal Biff had an older brother, Todd. Todd was going to be a senior in high school. We all looked up to Todd, for various reasons, the biggest being his library of Swedish Erotica. Super 8 films. And the literature/pamphlets that went along with them. Add to that their dad’s super 8 projector, and after school Biff’s house was a stag party. Better than a Friday night at the local VFW Hall.

John Holmes was The King. Seka, The Queen. Then there was Sharon Mitchell. Ron Jeremy. Aunt Peg. And various actors and actresses you’d see once, and never see again. Kinda like now.

The super 8 shorts didn’t have much of a plot, lasted less than 10 minutes, and I think Todd had maybe four of them. Five tops. And while they were watching the movies, I’d have to “take a piss” and I’d grab one of the pamphlets, and it was there I saw, for the first time, a picture of a girl getting a facial.

My lord! What in the world? It made my head spin. Obviously more than the lesbians. And sometimes, I don’t think my head stopped spinning…until I started making dirty movies. (Feel “addicted” to porn? Just become a director, my friend. You’ll be instantly cured.)

It’s the reason why I had my hand in creating sites like Spunkmouth and Jizz On My Glasses. It’s the reason why I rented Peter North movies, when I rented porn. And even though interracial sex fiends love to see cream pie endings to their favorite films, I usually opt out for the facial when I’m in the director’s seat. It’s not about the humiliation factor, either, although I know that’s what pushes a lot buttons for most dudes; to me, it’s just about seeing something sexy that isn’t natural, I suppose. Just like lesbos.

Sometimes, I wonder what happened to poor Rob Black and Max Hardcore when they were growing up…