Jenny Reeder and Her Trip to The Glory Hole

Jenny Reeder

The Jedi Knight writes:

Do you know anything about the girl “Jenny Reeder” who appeared a few updates ago on Gloryhole? I’ve never seen her before in anything, and she’s gorgeous. Does she go by any other names, or was it just a one-off thing?

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Mr. Jedi Knight:

The Free Dictionary.com defines a gloryhole as “The an untidy cupboard or storeroom”.

Um, nope.

In glass making, it’s “an auxiliary furnace for reheating glass that has cooled during offhand blowing”.

¡No way José!

All Words.com defines it as “originally, a hole in a mineshaft where an orebody is mined upwards until it breaks through the surface into the open air.”

Uh uh.

Die.net says it’s a “small locker at the stern of a boat or between decks of a ship”.

Wrong again.

The Urban Dictionary gets it right: “A small hole drilled into men’s room dividers to provide access for sexual activity”.

The second definition Urban Dictionary offers up is even better: “A small hole in the wall usually found in men’s restrooms or adult book/video shops meant for one man to stick his dick in and another man (or woman) to give head. It is used for both people to stay anonymous.”

Glory holes are now a world-wide phenomenon. Don’t believe me? You can even get a translation of its wonders in Vietnamese!

Căn phòng bề bộn bẩn thỉu!!!

With that said, once upon a time there was a girl who got on a bus in Ohio and jumped off in Los Angeles, California.

Her name was Jenny Reeder.

Her desire?

To act in dirty movies.

I got her phone number through a B-Level porno agent whose name I won’t mention here, only because it doesn’t really add much to the story.

She showed up at my studio on a bright, sunny day. She was friendly and cute and I decided immediately to see if she’d be up for jumping into my big white van and traveling to the newest, cruisiest glory hole my PA Doron Pepperscone had just recently discovered.

Not “cruisy” but “cruisiest”.

As in “to cruise”.

That’s how they’re classified on the internet.

A lot of people think gloryholes are fake; trust me, they’re not.

Google something like “glory hole” or “cruisy glory hole” and see what you come up with. I found this FAQ on “gholes” within 10 seconds. Here’s another glory hole guide that’ll clear up any misconceptions that these places aren’t real.

Anyways, I told Jenny all about the glory hole. She was nervous at first, but also very excited about doing some so “naughty” — her words.

So off we went. The wait was long, but it was worth it. About an hour into our wait, Jenny was rewarded with about a foot (or so) of black dick.

A few white ones popped through, but she’s very picky about her naughty behaviors.

Funny how the white girls always wait for black cock to come through the hole…and the back girls always wanna taste vanilla!

Anyways, Jenny sucked it first and then decided to give the lucky SOB a “quickie” just because she had never experienced such a massive dick.

The dude must have been really excited, too, cause he blasted all over the place.

On the way home Jenny said, “I can’t believe I just did that. It was so dirty and wrong!”

I guess that means it was a one-off thing…at least as far as future trips to glory holes go.

Finally, with most porno actresses, most jump back on that bus back home as quickly as they got off it only weeks (or months) earlier.

And they’re out forever — leaving their fans wondering.

And themselves thinking — what the fuck what I thinking of when I made those dirty movies!?

Jenny Reeder

My Blogging Skillz.

Tricia Oaks

Cheap and easy.

No, I’m not describing my last few girlfriends.

No, this doesn’t describe me. (Although “reasonably priced and easy” is fair).

Cheap and easy certainly covers my blog lately, and I’m not even gonna apologize for it. In fact, how about a big “fuck you” instead?

I’m kidding of course. I’d never tell my readers to fuck off, even if I only have a dozen or so of them. But I just can’t write decent stuff all the time, so all the You Tube videos and Super Fun e-Mails and stuff like that, well…it’s just filler…you know?

Kinda like an old b-side.

I’d like to think my b-sides are at least worth a look. I also know my b-sides don’t stand up to the great ones — “Hound Dog”, “We Will Rock You”, “Revolution”, as well as some of Prince’s and The Smith’s immediately come to mind — but hey, they ain’t all that bad, right?

I’d like to think they’re almost as good as “We Will Rock You”…but certainly they’ll never be as good as anything the Beatles or Elvis ever pulled off.

I will tell you I took a whole week off from Porno Land, and during that time I went home (to Phoenix) and during my stay there I jumped on a plane and went to Dallas, where I hung out for a few days.

I used to live in Dallas a long time ago. I lived in a neighborhood called “Oak Lawn”, which was totally gay.

The neighborhood.

Not me.

Cause No Way Am I Gay.

Isn’t it funny how gay dudes have impeccable taste and can make their front yards sing like an Angel? I lived in a two story duplex above a gay couple who had two miniature greyhounds named Fendi and Fiat, and I loved having them as neighbors. My front yard was immaculate no matter what time of year, and often they’d have me down for dinner and drinks and not one time did they ever try to convert me.

How about that!

We became friendly enough to where they’d invite me out for drinks with all their gay pals, and all the gay men thought I was gay, too, and they’d sit around and talk about their lives, and I’d listen, mostly. I kinda felt like Undercover Hetero Spy on a secret mission to discover something about them: do they spit or swallow? Do they fight like we do? Is there a pitcher and a catcher? Do they split the bills 50/50, or is one of them The Bread Winner?

About the only thing I discovered is that most of them worked terribly long hours and never asked for overtime pay, cause if their workplace ever discovered they were gay, they might have a shot at keeping their jobs: Big Boss Man certainly wouldn’t fire a guy who clocked an average of 60 hours a week and never asked for a dime of overtime pay…even if he was a fucking faggot and sucked a bunch of dick, right?

While I was living about my gay pals I was dating a stripper named Serena. Serena was the very first sex worker I ever dated. Who knew then that someday all I’d ever date would be sex workers?

But that’s another blog.

Anyways, Serena danced at a place called “The Purple Orchid”, which was near S.M.U. and my gay neighborhood. I was working as a stock broker during this phase of my life, and I wasn’t a very good stock broker.

Not at all.

I think, looking back at it now, I wasn’t a very good stock broker cause I have a conscience, and in order to be great at that business you can’t give a fuck about anyone’s money except your own. All the time. I mean I’d sell 10,000 shares of some shitty OTC stock to some poor soul I cold called two weeks before, and then I’d have nightmares he was gonna lose all his money, which would have been my fault entirely.

Thankfully my best friend owned the firm. He threw me some accounts to service, and he’d give me some money when I was totally broke and couldn’t close a lead, and eventually he let me recruit new brokers for him — which paid a salary instead of commissions — and I taught them how to pass The Series 7 test, which is a super dumb, multi-choice exam our fine Government requires all brokers to pass…with a 70% or better.

No wonder we’re in the mess we’re in.

Anyways, all the brokers in my firm loved The Strip Joints in Dallas. Even the ones who were married. In fact, I think the married ones loved the strippers more than the single brokers. And isn’t it funny that most of the all stock brokers in Dallas loved strippers? Cause it seemed that stock brokers in general came swooping down into the strip joints after the market closed.

I can’t adequately describe the strip joint scene in Dallas except to say it’s totally different than any other city I’ve ever lived, which includes Phoenix, San Francisco, Chicago, and now, Los Angeles. I’ve traveled to other cities and frequented their strip joints, too, and again…nothing compares to Dallas.

(I’d like to briefly mention Tampa Bay’s own “Mons Venus” which was, hands down, the filthiest, nastiest, greatest place God ever invented in the whole wide Universe, and certainly worth a cross-country plane flight to visit).

(While I’m at it, how about The Champagne Room Gloryhole I’ve recently discovered in a strip joint in Southern California!?! The picture I took is Tricia Oaks, right in the middle of it, ready to do the nasty).

The strip joints in Dallas were more of an earned rite than a Lonely Hearts Club, which is really what all strip joints are…but damn, Dallas strip joints were fucking fun. After a hard day cold calling and closing leads we’d haul ass to Caligula’s (mostly) and drink and eat (yep…we’d eat, and the food was good) and we’d pay for each other’s lap dances and then we’d treat ourselves to some, too.

The first porn star I ever met I met at Caligula’s. It was Keisha, and I was so excited to meet a girl whose movies I’d pleasure myself to that I (gladly) paid $10 for a Polaroid of her in my lap, as well as buying a whole bunch of lap dances, too. I think it was a Saturday night, cause I distinctly remember having her sign the bill of my ball cap — “to Billy, I’d love to eat your cum!” — cause I would never have worn a ball cap during the week, cause all we ever wore during the week was our custom-made business suits and limited-edition ties and polished black Johnson & Murphy’s, and if you didn’t have a limited edition Mont Blanc pen in your front pocket then you really weren’t much of a broker.

If you bought your suit off the rack, you weren’t much of a broker, either.

If you didn’t buy limited-edition ties, you weren’t much of a broker, either.

My boss/pal bought me a Mont Blanc as a present; I could never bring myself to spend $300 on a pen. Besides, I’d much rather give a stripper $300 to dance an hour in my lap while enjoying a Shiner Bock. He also gave me a lot of his old suits, and since we were the same size, mine were kinda custom made, too.

I always hated the limited-edition ties they’d wear; I’d get The Beatles ties or the Jerry Garcia ones, even though I hate hippies very much, although I like listening to the Grateful Dead…but you would have never caught me at a Dead show, cause every single hippie ever to don tie-dye and sandals and dropped acid at a “show” sucks a whole bunch of Donkey Dick. I hate everything a Dead Show stands for, even though I’ll listen to “…from The Mars Hotel” or maybe “Greatest Hits” at my apartment.

Last week, as I drove through Dallas with a friend, all these memories dusted themselves off and ran through my brain in one fell swoop, and I never really mentioned any of them to her while we drove around.

Serena. My old place. And the porch I used to sit on while suffering through the very first anxiety attacks of my life.

Such fond memories!

I couldn’t fuck Serena hard enough, and that’s when I was at the height of my fucking skillz. My fucking skillz weren’t as strong as my Numchuck skillz, or my bow hunting skillz, or my computer hacking skillz…cause we all know girls only want boyfriends who have great skillz.

Which is to say I was never really a great fucker. But I’d try, and after blasting twice (or, on a good night, three times) Serena would always want more, and I just couldn’t deliver.

“Billy, are you gay?” she asked one night, very frustrated I wasn’t good for Round 4.

“No way!” I said. “Why?”

“Cause I wanna fuck again and you don’t!”

“Yea, well…you’ve drained my balls, Honey Bunny. I’m all done for right now.”

She looked at me and didn’t say anything for a second or two, and then she asked, “Honestly, Billy, I think you’re gay cause you hang out with those fags who live below you! Sure you aren’t!?”

I thought about it for a second, and then I said something like, “well, I like my neighbors cause they’re very well-read, they have great taste, they’re great conversationalists, and they decorate their house really well, and they can cook way better than me. And they always have expensive beer in the fridge.”

Serena just looked at me and laughed. We broke up soon after that, and I did run into her, almost ten years later, while I was living in San Francisco and trying to be a writer. We rode the cable cars and I showed her City Lights (we went in) and Adam & Eve’s (we didn’t go in) and China Town and North Beach and we ate and drank and caught up on our lives.

And we didn’t fuck.

And that’s the last time I ever saw her.

Clean up — Aisle 5.

The Mask and Minion Porn

A man was in a long line at his local Safeway store. As he got to the register he realized he had forgotten to get condoms, so he asked the checkout girl if she could have some brought up to the register.

She asked, “What size condoms?”

The customer replied that he didn’t Know.

She asked him to drop his pants.

He did.

She reached over the counter, grabbed hold of him and called over the intercom, “One box of large condoms, Register 5.”

The next man in line thought this was interesting, and like most of us, was up for a cheap thrill. When he got up to the register, he told the checker that he too had forgotten to get condoms, and asked if she could have some brought to the register for him.

She asked him what size, and he stated that he didn’t know. She asked him to drop his pants.

He did.

She gave him a quick feel, picked up the intercom and said, “One box of medium-sized condoms, Register 5.

A few customers back was this teenage boy. He thought what he had seen was way too cool. He had never had any type of sexual contact with a live female, so he thought this was his chance. When he got to the register he told her he needed some condoms.

She asked him what size and he said he didn’t know. She asked him to drop his pants and he did. She reached over the counter, gave him a quick squeeze then picked up the intercom and said, “mop and bucket to register 5!!!”

Super Fun e-Mails: “Voracious Joie de Vivre!”

super fun e-mails

D. writes:

I’m a short time reader of your blog, and a long time viewer of porn. I’m 26y/o female and I guess I wanna do porn. I say “I guess” because I really wanna work on your side of the porn industry. Not filming with the cameras per say, but whatever else like booking, becoming a not-so-sleazy agent, drop shit off at UPS, accounts payable, on-the-set design/mgmt/cleanup, whatever! I’m currently on hiatus from completing my dbl-BA degree in Business Mktg and Fashion Design. The reason I’m on hiatus is b/c university is so freakin expensive, I don’t qualify for loans (does anybody anymore?) and I guess I’m not good enough for scholarships. Sooooo what all that cums down to (hehe…. cums) is I REALLY like porn and I REALLY need money.

Okay I know, you’re gonna say, “well you’re a girl, you need to be getting fucked on camera to make the dough” Well yeah and no. I’m super sexed-up but I have a b/f, yes the dreaded b/f. And I’d much rather fuck females on camera, than males, but I know you already have tons of girls that only do g/g scenes, so like enough is enuf! But, he’s considered porn too. So maybe we can do stuff together, if we must? We’re both 50/50 Bisexuals (we don’t prefer 1 over the other) We are also an interracial couple btw, I read something about us types getting paid a premium? That sounds promising… So I don’t really wanna get whored out and end up on Blackie Abuse (I’ve seen Latina Abuse, and I kinda hate that type of porn) I like the stuff where you can tell everybody is enjoying fucking who they’re fucking, ya heard!

So my faves are Belladonna (fave!) Tory Lane, Delilah Strong, Sandra Romain (fave!) there’s others too, just can’t remember all the names right now.

So with that said, I’m totally down to be in a scene, but that’s not my main objective. Do you need an efficient, detail oriented secretary/assistant? Gawd Billy, don’t leave me hanging here! I live in Bakersfield, CA, not too far a drive to LA or the Valley. I used to live in LA and danced at VIP Showgirls and Blue Zebra in my earlier 20’s. So I’ve always liked nastiness in my life, and at this point, I need more than just makin love to the ole’ b/f if ya know what I mean? So Billy, Mr. Watson, don’t brush me off. You won’t be disappointed. I’m a very passionate and hard worker. Both my tenacity in administrative and organizational matters and my voracious joie de vivre towards sexual matters are great American Resources that have yet to be tapped and put to good use.

So what else can I tell you about me to get you to bite at my offer??? My ethnicity is Mexican/Black/Filipina, 5’7″ tall, 150 curvy lbs, short black hair straight or wavy depending on mood, big bright smile, self-defined guys-girl, Grace Jones/Josephine Baker/Nicole Ritchie a la The Simple Life (in regards to raunchy, debaucherous behaviour, not so much intelligence) I’m an amalgamation of so many eccentric characters all rolled into 1 undiscovered talent!

Oh p.s. I’m a Leo, and they always say I’m the Queen of the Sexual Jungle over all other zodiac females in astrology. Sooooo, c’mon already: How can I be of Assistance to You????

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D:

Hands down one of my very favorite e-mails. Thanks! If you can get your super sweet, very black booty to Los Angeles, I would love to put you to work.

First, we’d get in a van and head straight to a very secret place where’d you suck and fuck a white dick. This white dick would be anonymous and come straight through a hole in the wall. Is there any sweet gloryhole action in Bakersfield??

I bet thee not!

Afterwards, I’d shoot you for a top secret site (or two) featuring more super hot interracial action.

Talk about some oracious Joie de Vivre!

Do Leos get along with Sagittarians?

While I’ve never heard of “blackie abuse”, you can come down here anytime and give me some whitey abuse…cause lately, that’s about all that makes my Freak Flag fly.

And, since you took the initiative to write such a superb letter, and to follow it up with some Yahoo! IM chat, I’ve given you my cell number, and I’m looking forward to your call.

So, let’s make some filthy, dirty movies!! …just as long as you’re who you say you are, and not some 300 pound dude with a handle-bar mustache in a black leather jock strap and a fuzzy back.

Wait a sec…if you’re a 300 pound Leather Daddy in a smooth black jock strap supporting a fuzzy back, I will put you to work!

Just remember — No Way Am I Gay!

Your pal, Billy.

super fun e-mails

Deep Thoughts by Bill Watson.

Jenni Lee Ass Eating Movies

What makes a man fart in the face of a cop? And what makes that cop arrest the farter on battery charges?

What really makes a US Senator “suspend” his bid for the White House? And what really makes that Senator choose an imbecile as his running mate?

I’m fairly confident I know what makes a bunch of frat boys vomit milk off a bridge. But did they know it would cause a car wreck? Ah, my alma mater — Go Sun Devils!

What makes a man buy a beer for his 4 year old son, and then encourage his son to share it with his little brother…who’s 2? And what was the state of Wisconsin thinking for not calling in CPS?

What makes a man die of alcohol consumption? Maybe a bad marriage, or being lonely…or maybe the fact that Chris Jericho is now WWE Champ. What makes him keep his 80-year-old mother in the freezer? (The cops found her after they found him). He needed her Social Security payments to continue, so why fill out a silly death certificate?

What makes a girl paint her face like a whore and commit to eating man ass on camera? And what kind of a person would actually film such atrocities?

What makes a man take off his pants before heading out to the Dunkin’ Doughnuts and expose his wiener to the poor doughnut lady? And what’s his preferred tasty treat? Apple Fritters? Chocolate Olde Fashions? Or just the doughnut holes?

What was God thinking when he made the spotted hyena, which was described by Bloomberg News: “(B)oth the male and female have penises. The female, it turns out, has a scrotal sack, too. For reproductive purposes, the male transfers his sperm through the female’s penis, which doubles as her clitoris.”

Doesn’t that sound hot?

No Way Am I Gay!

Speaking of God, how about the New Orleans pastor who stole his congregation’s hurricane relief funds? Pretty typical Christian behavior, huh?

While I’m on a roll with whacky Christians, some poor foolio felt he was the Anti-Christ and walked into a church in Rome and stabbed the poor priest repeatedly.

The funny thing is, if he really wanted to meet The Anti-Christ, all he’d have to do is spend a day in my porno studio.

Any day would do.

Milk n’ Cookies.

Milk n Cookies

Moving is such a pain in the ass. And I know you know this already, but still…can I say it again?

Moving sucks balls. Big ol’ donkey balls.

It doesn’t just end when you drop the last box in to wherever it is you’re moving into. I know you know this already, too.

I’ve been in my new digs now almost 3 months, and I’m still unpacking shit.

And where the fuck did I get it all?

For me, it’s mostly books and records…mostly. A lot of unopened mail, too. So much unopened mail I know there’s something wrong with me.

Well, there’s lots wrong with me, and not wanting to open mail cracks the Top 10 List of What’s Wrong with Billy Watson; hence, I have a box full of unopened mail that’s probably 6 months old. It’s got those dust bunnies floating all around inside, and I bet this unopened letter from the IRS is something I should have opened when I got it back in March.

Oh, and do I really need 3 copies of Don DeLillo’s Underworld?

And 2 copies of Issac Hayes Live At The Sahara Tahoe?

What good is a full run of McSweeney’s…many in duplicate? Perhaps someday I will eBay them.

I’ve grown somewhat embarrassed of my “Black Americana” stuff. Well, let’s be honest. I’m really embarrassed of it. Sure, having a 1/2 full tube of original Darkie Toothpaste or an Aunt Jemima steel bank might have been cool at one point, but I’m over it.

I think I’m gonna sell everything I don’t really need anymore. Or else pull out all the stuff I have more than one of and haul it into Amoeba, or a good used book store…or fuck it. Maybe I’ll just pack some boxes and drop them off at Goodwill. It’s right down the street, and I’m sure someone will really appreciate a VHS copy of the Go-Go’s, backstage in, like, 1984, doing naughty things. Or were they talking about doing naughty things? I really don’t know, cause I haven’t watched this stoopid thing since 1992, when I got it, and even then I watched it once and tossed it into a closet.

The Go-Go’s!

I’m banging this blog out when there’s a knock at the door. Since no one knows where I live, it’s certainly a mystery as to why anyone’s knocking at my door at 10.30 on a Saturday morning…but it’s the post man! And he’s got a package for me!

There’s nothing better than real mail….even if it’s more stuff to deal with!

That’s right — just as I’m bitching and moaning about all my stupid stuff, here’s the mailman…handing me more stupid stuff. This time it’s a record I found off the internet by a super obscure 70’s glam rock band called Milk n’ Cookies.

Here’s a band no one’s ever heard of that was in the middle of the whole CBGB’s punk rock scene circa ’75, and, from sitting back to listen to side 1 before banging out this paragraph, I’d say it makes sense no one’s ever heard of them. It’s not that they suck in as much as there’s nothing really special at all. In fact, the record kinda sounds like something The Bay City Rollers would have made if they were hanging out at CBGB’s with The Ramones and Television instead of living in Edinburgh, cutting their pants short and getting all kooky with the tartan.

Writing about Milk n’ Cookies makes me wanna go out to Amoeba and spend more money on records. Matthew Sweet’s got a new record out that’s supposed to be as good as “Girlfriend”, and a friend in Portland is texting me to check out a band called “Battles”.

And, while I’m at it, I still really haven’t explored the used bookstores in Los Angeles.

Oh yea…there’s also a great flea market at Fairfax High.

More books.

More records.

More stuff…cause, eventually, I’ll figure out a place to put it all.

Super Fun mySpace Messages: “Mask Porn”!

The Mask and Minion Porn

Art mySpaces me:

Hello Mr. Watson,

First, I wanted to let you know that I’ve enjoyed your blog, especially the behind-the-scenes anecdotes. After reading through all of the archives I think I have a casual understanding of the porn business; however, one area that you haven’t discussed is the role of agents in the business. You’ve expressed some hostility towards them (I believe you’ve called them ‘scum’ or worse but I’m currently too lazy to go look it up) but you really haven’t discussed their activities in any detail. Not that I want to tell you what to blog about (although I guess that’s what I’m doing… well, lets think of it as a friendly suggestion) but i think it would be interesting to more about porn agents and/or agencies.

Second, after reading through your blog I had an idea for a porn site — Mask Porn. My first thought was to keep the idea for myself and try to set up a site but then reality set in. I don’t know how to find and hire the talent, shoot the talent, set up the website, market the site, understand the legal environment (I’m an American living in London, UK), and I’m not really interested in giving up my nice job and move my wife and 2 kids to LA to shoot porn. Oh, and I’m also too lazy and risk-averse to try this on my own. Anyway, here the basic idea is to shoot porn where the woman (or man) is wearing a mask. I thought that this would have several advantages over regular porn, which include:

(1) Hire women who are ‘less facially attractive’ but have good bodies. Hopefully these woman would be cheaper.

(2) Attract woman who need $$ but normally wouldn’t consider porn because they were afraid of being recognized.

(3) Possibly attract current porn actresses and get them to do things (interracial, anal, etc.) that they otherwise wouldn’t do on camera for marketing reasons (although I’m skeptical that there are many of these actresses). There is also the possibility that the actresses/woman will be more uninhibited w/ the mask since they can’t be recognized.

(4) Since the women are wearing a mask you can shoot them multiple times by changing the mask. My guess that it is the faces which tend to get ‘shot out’ and not the bodies but maybe I’m wrong here.

There are alot of variations that could be added to keep the idea fresh… for example, changing up the masks (eye masks, hockey masks, animal mascot heads/masks, a brown paper bag (brown-baggers or double-baggers!), maybe using funky makeup instead of a mask, etc.). Maybe making up the women to resemble other porn actresses (hair, tats, etc.) and then giving them a similar porn name (Eva Brangelina, Jenna Jameson, etc.). Or making gay porn (No Way Am I Gay).

Anyway, I think it would work from a cost and talent perspective, but I’m not sure if there is any demand for guys to watch porn where you can’t see the woman’s face (or at least enough of her face to recognize her). Again, maybe some people would like the funky masks, while others would like the ‘mystery’ of the mask and allow their fantasy/mind to fill in the face. I just don’t really know…

Oh, and sorry for contacting you via myspace (I don’t really do the myspace thing but I couldn’t find an email address on your blog).

cheers,

Art
———————————————————————————

Hi Art!

Porno agents — like most things porno — are an interesting breed. I’m sure you know they find “work” for the models they represent. I pay them an “agent fee” that ranges from $50 to $100 per girl per day. Usually, if a job is less than $500 (blow jobs and hand jobs, for example) then I usually pay the agent $50. If the job is more than $500 (say, a full blown boy girl scene) then I pay them $100.

The girl gives a legit agent 10% to 15% of her earnings — 10% if the girl drives herself to set and 15% if the agent hires a driver…or drives the girls himself).

Pretty good gig, huh? Let’s do the math!

30 b/g gigs for the agent means $3000 that he’ll earn from the producer.

30 b/g gigs means another $3000 the agent from the girl.

Per girl.

If the agent has 10 girls under management — $30K a month!

Can you live off $30,000 a month?

I won’t talk shit about agents, but, for the most part, they’re a sleazy crew. Some are good; most are bad.

As far as Bag-Over-The-Head Porn…well, I don’t think that’s gonna amount to much. I might be wrong, so I took a pic of my pal, The Minion, posing with a porn whore, just to make sure.

What do you think?

Super Fun mySpace messages: “Crap”?

Terri Lynn Doss

Terri Lynn Doss mySpaces me:

its terri doss….plzzzz remove your crap about me from the internet….id be really greatful!!!

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Crap?

Crap!

Wait a sec. I went back and reread my original post about super hot Terri Lynn Doss, and I’m searching all over the place for the doo-doo Ms. Doss is claiming.

Where is it?

OK — I admit to beating off to her Playboy pictorial, but isn’t that part of the reason you posed for Playboy?

Besides, isn’t it a compliment when a dude admits he jerked to you?

Anyways, I can’t find a hint of crap anywhere in that post, although that doesn’t mean my writing isn’t crappy.

There’s just no crap about Terri Lynn Doss — none that I could detect, anyway.

I tried to myspace Ms. Doss back to ask her exactly what crap she was talking about, but the only people she allows to message her via mySpace are her friends, and I’m not one of them.

So let the crap stand!

After all, if it wasn’t for all my crap, there’s nothing to I Shoot Porn.