This Week’s Porno Fun!

Aurora Snow Anal Interracial Video

Every once in a while I’ll blog about some girls I’ve shot, what sites I shot them for, what they did in their scene…and if anything happened on set you’d find amusing. Cause, after all, that’s the sole purpose of this blog.

To amuse my Dear & Loyal Readers.

Oh, one more thing: if my commentary doesn’t amuse you, maybe all the free porn I’m shelling out will. Just don’t say I never gave you nothin’.

Which, of course, is a triple negative.

AURORA SNOW : Blacks on Blondes – I think I told you this, but Aurora’s one of the last girls I pleasured myself to before jumping into this biz. That was in ’02, when she was a barely-legal. Now Aurora’s an eight-year Porno Veteran and as close as a bonafide porn star as it gets. Lately, the Blacks on Blondes members have been asking for more anal, so lots of cute white girls have been getting their colons invaded whilst at my studio. Aurora was no exception.

And she loved every minute of it.

MARINA MAYWOOD : The Dick Suckers – Take a quick gander at Marina with about 11 inches of man meat hanging out of her mouth! I shot Marina for a whole bunch of sites, cause I think she’s got a really unique look that isn’t “porn whore”, and it really isn’t “girl-next-store”. I’m not sure what you’d call it. Here’s some free Marina Maywood handjob movies and some free Marina Maywood gloryhole movies (when she was calling herself “Reggie Burnett”). Oh, these silly whores with their name changes!

TRICIA OAKS : Gloryhole – Tricia Oaks is a dirty girl. A very dirty girl. Which is to say she had absolutely no problem sucking and fucking a random black dude until he went spewey all over the place. Recently, we discovered a “champagne room” in the Valley with some holes drilled in the wall. It was a very hot tip, and it came from one of the strippers working there. Why so hot? Well…the nice thing about this “G Hole” is a lack of cops — as well as fat, snoopy, creepy dudes who should be minding their own business.

JACLYN CASE : Spunkmouth – Here’s a funny story, and, like all the stories I tell here, it’s true: I booked Jaclyn case for a BJ. Not just any blowjob, mind you…a Spunkmouth blow job. (Spunkmouth BJ’s are superlative to ordinary ones). Anyways, girls in the Jizz Biz usually get $300 to perform fellatio upon their male counterpart, but today was very special because our horse-cocked stud turned Jaclyn on so much she fucked him…and allowed us to roll tape while the fuck session went down. See, a lot of the girls in porn are True Sluts, which means they’ll do super slutty things like fuck a dude…when all they were hired to do was blow him.

VERONICA RAYNE : The Minion – I think I’ll let The Minion, my Loyal PA, take over for this particular entry: Veronica is a worthy porn slut. In fact, before the scene she brought over a bucket of chicken which scored points from the get go. Much like her tits these days, my stomach has also gained significant girth but that’s due to 99 cent burgers and not silicone implants. Veronica got to her knees faster than an irishman at a pay toilet. She slobbered all over my cock as if it gave out gold coins. I remember the load I slammed her with since I nearly turned her into the world’s largest pez dispenser!

ALIANA LOVE : JOMG – Aliana is a super hot piece of vanilla-chocolate ass, hence her name. Soft serve swirl. This was always my very favorite flavor over at Ye Olde Ice Cream Shoppe.

TRISTAN KINGSLEY : Ruth Blackwell – Wanna hear something funny? I don’t really remember much about this scene. I know that might sound weird to you, but often times I forget about shooting stuff almost the second the camera stops rolling. I don’t know what’s up with that. Maybe it’s some sort of way my mind deals with making smut for a living. I dunno. The weird thing is I remember the Tristan Kingsley handjob movies I made really, really well. I actually hired her again, Super Stunt Cock Ben English, to spray Miss Kingsley’s face full of baby batter. For Ruth Blackwell, I’m sure it went down like this: Miss Blackwell has always been on a mission; she turns innocent girls into Evil Black Cock Sluts. In today’s episode, Ruth drags Tristan into a very bad neighborhood where her friend, The Artist Currently Known as Hooks, works. Hooks is a painter. He paints girls’ faces.

Do I really need to continue?

ALINE : Eat Some Ass – Open wide, Aline. Time for your daily feeding of man ass.

CADENCE CALIBER : Donny’s Girls – I’d like to make Cadence Caliber my girlfriend. Really, I would. And for a number of reasons: 1) She’s a super slut, and from now on, all the wonderful women lucky enough to be invited into My World need to be slutty. 2) See #1. 3) See #2.

Cause there’s nothing better than a Sweet Number Two.

NIKKI ANNE : Manojob – Nikki Anne’s a mainstream model who needs work. This is true. She turned to adult modeling. This is true. She’s got a super sweet voice. This is true. She’s college educated. This is true. She jerks a cock like none other. Again, es la verdad. I’m gonna book her as much as I can…as long as she sticks around. Which I think she will. Cause (and I think anyone who knows this first hand will have my back here) Adult Modeling is way more fun than mainstream.

Just ask Nikki Anne.

Nikki Anne Handjob Movie

Today’s Guest Blogger: Makenzie Wilson On All Things Porno & Political.

Makenzie Wilson

From time to time I have guests blog whatever it is they feel like blogging. I will not tell them what to blog; I won’t edit it; I won’t influence the Guest Blogger in any way.

Makenzie Wilson has been a guest blogger here more than once, but it’s been a long time. She always has interesting things to say, and she’s out of the porno game now. She’s outspoken and brash and liberal and she gives awesome massages and that’s why I like her so!

As I am writing this, McLAME is making his speech to what I presume mostly consists of the dumbest, most illogical people on the planet. Because, OH! If he isn’t voted in there will SURELY be another 9/11! And why YOU….should be scared! I swear, watching him and that whore Sarah Palin, makes me wanna puke (which is why I don’t own a television). As I was talking with another Dem friend, I said, “It’s too bad the American people have no logic. They vote with their emotions, not their heads.” And she says, “Yeah, ’cause Jesus don’t need no logic!” Fucktards. OK…off the political rant……

You’ve mentioned that some blog readers have asked about me. Specifically, about if there is going to be any more content on me, or just a general, “Where is she? What’s she up to?! She disappeared from porn!” I laughed as I read your most recent post on social networking sites. I occasionally receive messages on my mySpace page asking if so-and-so can be my friend because they know about me from porn. I hate to do it, but I block all such requests because I have come across disturbing posts on numerous forums/message boards made by fans. One even went so far as to report where I grocery shop, and what I wear when I do! Most of them violate copyright laws and post, and post, and REPOST all the shit they can find on me. This would not bother any other porn whore, but for me, it does. I seldom ever regret anything I’ve done in porn (with the exception of one scene), but I honestly would rather have some of it just go away. One of my wishes actually came true this year. The owner of my original porn name’s URL unlinked it from another porn name I had. He wanted to sell me the URL for $500, for which I promptly replied, “Go fuck yourself!”

I have ventured into a new career choice in life, and while it does not particularly matter in this field what I have done in the past, I am much, much happier with it. I make more money, and am required to do about 70% less. I travel with it and I can write off about 60% of my basic living expenses under my newly formed company’s name! It’s great! But I have to tell you, more than a few people have recognized me. These moments were almost surreal. When I get the whole, “Um, you look vaguely familiar….” or “Hey, are you _____?” I giggle inside and am tickled pink because I was SO low radar in porn, and people still recognize me! But I’m also reminded that it’s out there, it will be out there, and I can’t change that-probably NEVER. I woke up to a message on my phone from Ron Jeremy last week in Vegas, “Hey honey! It’s me Ron! Come to the Hard Rock and party with us….sorry I haven’t called in so long!” Now, who wakes up to a message like that?!” I love Ron, and I would really like to insert my foot in anyone’s piehole whom continually asks me, “How can you like him? He’s so gross!”

I guess this is really a blog to your readers and less to you (though you know my undying adoration for you!), to say that, well, there is a better chance than not that I will never appear in another porno again. There is an off-chance that I will do low-key magazine work, since I get really tickled pink by seeing myself in a major publication and have always truly loved really, really good photography. I miss the business a lot, and I have fleeting thoughts of trying to co-produce something with a favorite producer like Brandon Iron. But I know just how hard it is to make it big in the business now, and I’m not sure I’d be ready for those hurdles.

My last scene was published last month, Brandon’s Perverted Planet, volume two. Indeed, a very good scene. I was more my “self” than I am in any other porn, and it is clear how much more comfortable I am in that spotlight. Too bad it’s too late! I hope to catch you next week when I fly to Cali to start my road trip with momsies. I would really, really love to see you and maybe introduce you to one among the plethora of good vegan/vegetarian joints around there!! One last thing: DO NOT watch politics from now until after the election (unless the one we DON’T want gets in office….then NEVER watch). Since it drives both of us batty to watch or listen to hypocritical Republicunts, it will only raise your blood pressure-which vegetarian food is good for!

Your best bud,
Mak

P.S. Remember how we were discussing infidelity? ONE day later, a girl at work confessed to me that she cheated on her husband…not even THREE months after marriage! SICK!

Boo Ya! (Or, Gangsta-Porn Actor Thrown In Da Slamma, Yo!)

Boo Ya Interracial Video

CBS 2 in LA reports:

A self-described gangsta-porn actor was sentenced Monday to more than 6 years in federal prison for gun and cocaine charges.

Duane Moore Reed, 37, a San Fernando Valley man whose nom de porn was “Tony Eveready”, plead guilty to being a felon in possession of a firearm.

The self-styled “thug of porn,” was sentenced Monday in U.S. District Court after pleading guilty to the felony charge. He was also found guilty of possessing cocaine, but acquitted of charges of possession with intent to distribute.

Moore, who lives in Winnetka, also has appeared in two documentary films with the rapper Snoop Dogg.

At trial, investigators testified that during Moore’s post-arrest interview, he said he sold drugs when he was hired for fewer porn appearances.

Before his latest case, Moore had reportedly been convicted of spousal abuse.

Tony Everready pulled off what is, perhaps, the greatest sexual feat I’ve ever shot.

No, he pulled off The Greatest Feat I’ve ever shot…and maybe one of the best I’ve ever even heard about.

We were in Dogfart’s Secret Mansion on a cliff high above The Pacific Ocean.

We booked a girl named Alisha.

And in one of the few movies I’ve ever appeared in, I try to break her “Black Cock Addiction”. That’s the scenario! I was her older brother (I think, but I don’t recall now). It’s really funny to see me act, even though the only thing you see is my back.

Of course Alisha resists my pleas, so I remind Alisha about the time grandpa (I think it was our “grandpa”, but I don’t recall now) caught me smoking a cigar. I told her how upset Grandpa was, and how he asked me not to do it again, but I couldn’t promise that, so Grandpa made me smoke 10 cigars right then and there…and that made me sick, and I never smoked cigars again.

I ask Alisha again, please don’t do black guys, but she can’t make that promise.

So I march out a bunch of black dudes in order to make Alisha sick of black meat.

Think it worked?

Of course not!

And towards the middle of her scene, Alisha gets DP’d.

DP’d = double penetration = a cock in her ass while there’s one in her pussy.

DP’s aren’t really that big a deal…but what if there was only one dude? And that one dude stuffed his balls into Alisha’s ass, and then he stuffed his cock in her pussy?

Enter Tony Everready.

Then enter Tony’s testicles in her anus.

And then his shaft into her vagina.

Now fuck her hard until your balls pop out of her ass!

Then yell BOO YA!

Enter a video that’s become (in)famous all over the net…the “Boo Ya!” video.

Now go to jail for 6 years and hope for the best.

Edgar Allen Poe Beat His Meat, too.

What porn would Edgar Allen Poe beat to?

My morning routine is a simple one.

After I wake up and walk Maggie, I pour myself a cup of iced coffee and a bowl of cereal (high-fiber Cherrio knock-offs courtesy of Trader Joe’s, sprinkled with fresh strawberries and blueberries and some yummy dextrose and maltodextrin and sucralose (AKA Splenda)) and then I plop myself down in front of my iMac and read my e-mails, check my sales for Manojob and The Dick Suckers and No Way Am I Gay, and then I see what creep has mySpaced me, and then I read CNN, The New York Times, The LA Times, The BBC, The Christian Science Monitor (the only fairly accurate news reporting agency today) and then, for a good laugh, I skim through The Arizona Republic — my hometown newspaper — just cause it’s so just fucking awful.

(Sometimes I skip all this and meet Adrianna Nicole at LA’s finest coffeehouse).

So the other day The NY Times has a story about this cat named Ed Petit who argues Poe should be exhumed in Baltimore and his remains moved to Philadelphia, where he wrote all The Big Ones: “‘The Fall of the House of Usher,’ ‘The Murders in the Rue Morgue,’ ‘The Masque of the Red Death,’ ‘The Tell-Tale Heart,’ ‘The Black Cat,’ and ‘The Gold-Bug’”.

Yep…all penned in Philly, where the cheese steaks are extra-extra yum, and you can get a full case of Little Nips right at your table, all covered in ice.

Since man has been beating his meat since his was Cave Man, this whole thing made me wonder what porn would make Poe’s Freak Flag Fly.

I’m thinking Meatholes. And Piss Mops. Any porn where the girl ends up crying.

Poe would go nuts over Max Hardcore!

And he’d be very bummed, too, since most of the particularly nasty Meat Hole scenes were pulled from the site…as well as the entire Piss Mops site.

Poe might have been good male talent, too; his parents were actors (ie attention whores), mom died when he was young, and dad took off.

Addictions to attention and parental abandonment: if it weren’t for all this fun, 80% of your porn actors / actresses wouldn’t be.

Or, be not.

Scholars are certain Poe was bi-polar, too; chalk up another great indicator to Porno Stardom!

Wonder if he was packing?

And take a look at the poor guy. If I’ve ever seen a Wall Flower at the middle-school dance, it’s Poe; hence, Meatholes and Piss Mops and Max Hardcore’s stuff woulda kept Poe holed up in his house for a long, long time.

Who would you rather get paid to bang — EA Poe or Dirty Harry? (Take a long look at Dirty Harry suckling Sindy Lange’s teet before you answer).

Where am I taking this?

I have no idea.

Oh! I guess someone in Philly offered up exhuming John Wilkes Booth instead of Poe. I’m sure it’s a joke, but I like the idea.

And if you weren’t paying attention in History class, JWB whacked Abe Lincoln — Sic semper tyrannis!

I have no idea what kind of porn Booth would enjoy, but since he was nutso enough to whack a President, I’m thinking Poe and Booth were kindred spirits…Booth just had bigger balls.

Cause, let’s face it — most writers are fakers…nothing more.

Interview with a Porn Star (#49) — Sinn Sage

Sinn Sage

I Shoot Porn: Let’s talk about your Satanic ways….cause — let’s face it — since we’re in porn, we’re all Satanists…right?

Sinn Sage: (Laughs) We’re all evil! I don’t adhere to any sort of label, and I don’t believe in God, or the Devil. But I’m defiantly intrigued by the ideas and concepts of Satanism, which isn’t worshiping the Devil. Just like I’m equally intrigued by Buddhism. I don’t consider myself a spiritual person.

ISP: What is it about Satanism that intrigues you?

SS: It begins with Atheism. And it’s based on worship of The Self, and enjoying life, and not feeling guilty about the pleasures that life has to offer. And giving respect to people because they deserve it…not because they’re an authoritative figure. I’m not a master of the subject, but I’ve done my research.

ISP: How come you don’t do boys in your movies?

SS: I feel differently towards men than women. When I have sex with a man, I want it to be based on some sort of attraction — whether it be mental or emotional stimulation. But, with women, I could have sex with 100 of them a day and not feel anything else about it…except happy. It’s just different. I don’t know. I just can’t do dick for the sake of dick.

ISP: But isn’t porn just a job?

SS: Not for me! I could do anything that’s a job…but this is something…I don’t know. With women, I can make a passionate, intense, quality performance. Good stuff that you’d want to see on camera. A performance I can be proud of. So it’s more than just a job. It’s something I feel strongly about. If I was doing boys, you’d see my disinterest.

ISP: Are you a lesbian?

SS: No! I wish.

ISP: Why?

SS: Because —

ISP: (I look down and notice Sinn has her hand down her pants). Are you playing with yourself?

SS: I’m scratching my pubes.

ISP: You’re not 100% shaved?

SS: Only the important parts…but I appreciate pubic hair. As far as relationships go, I feel the need to be with a man. I’m attracted to men, but more on an emotional level. Not so much physically. If a man stimulates my mind, it’s not important at all what he looks like to me.

ISP: How does Audrey Elson’s pussy taste?

SS: Pussy all tastes the same to me. It tastes like pussy. She’s great though! Now that I know her more, I wish I could work with her again. Demi The Demoness was a fun movie!

ISP: You strip, too?

SS: Yea, I’m a dancer.

ISP: Does stripping make you hate men?

SS: No! Absolutely not. I don’t know if you want to put this in the interview, but I’ve always kept journals, and since I was like 14 I knew I wanted to dance and appear in adult movies. Last night I was reading an entry from when I was 18 (Sinn’s almost 25 now) and I hadn’t started in the industry yet…but it was interesting to see the attitude I had towards the industry is the same as I do now…six years later.

ISP: Are you educated?

SS: I’m a pretty smart person. I graduated high school. I was in honors classes. Honors English. My parents were teachers. But I didn’t go to college.

ISP: So what’s your damage?

SS: I have none. My parents are still married. I was raised upper-middle class. I had pretty much what I wanted. I was depressed in high school, but to know I wanted to do this since 13 means this is who I am. I don’t feel bad about about it, and I don’t feel that I should. I just…I embraced my sexuality at a young age, and, eh…this is who I am. I’m an exhibitionist and a performer and a sexual person and there’s nothing wrong with it and I’m happy. I believe porn makes people happy, and I feel that way about stripping, too.

ISP: So I’m not exploiting you today?

SS: Oh, hell no. This is my decision. How am I being exploited by being fully aware of what I’m doing. I made the decision to come here and take my clothes off. I’m in control. I have the power. I realized the power I had in my sexuality, so if anyone is being degraded — or exploited — it’s the people who need to pay for it. If anything, the men who buy porn are being exploited, not the people who make money doing it.

ISP: Anything you wanna plug?

SS: My new site is Spank Sinn. It’s all about girl-girl erotic spanking. Not no much punishment as spanking. Can you also mention mySpace?

ISP: Would you be my friend?

SS: Yes! Of course!

ISP: Good. I dunno what I’d do without my mySpace pals. Oh…and I’ve been a very bad boy today. Would you spank me?

SS: If you had a vagina.

Sinn Sage

Kim Jong II — He Dead.

Kim Jong Southpark picture

OK — how creepy is it that Kim Jong’s been dead for a couple years now, and the North Korean government is marching lil’ Kim Jong body doubles around in an attempt to fool everyone?

It’s even better that since he’s died, world leaders willing to meet with “Kim Jong” have been cutting deals with an impostor.

I guess Kim Jong always worried about getting whacked, so he hired some dudes that looked like him (don’t all North Koreans look alike anyway?!) and, in some cases, had the body doubles undergo plastic surgery in order to better resemble His Highness.

And just when people think he’s really dead, the North Korean government marches one of their Kim Jongs on stage to quell the masses.

I’ve always wanted a body double, and now I think I’m gonna hire one and march him around much the same way. Thank you for your inspiration, Kim Jong II!

Just think! I could just stay home while “Billy” shoots for Blacks on Blondes and Manojob and Eat Some Ass and The Dick Suckers. Better yet, no more traffic hassles or crowded places to deal with…just send “Billy” out to take care of all my silly errands!

And it’s perfect for those risky gloryhole scenes, too. No more worries about getting busted by the cops — that’s “Billy’s” problem now!!

Rumors abound, too, about Kim’s very favorite movies…which happen to be (surprise!) dirty ones. So, in addition to his complete “Desperate Housewives” library and his collection of 20,000+ mainstream (Western) movies, Kim’s got a whole bunch o’ porn, too.

I wonder how that worked when he was alive? When I jerked to porn, I was kinda embarrassed when I went to the video store and handed the clerk all the stuff that made my Freak Flag fly. What did Kim do? As his Secretary of Defense to order the dirty movies in his name? Was there a person who didn’t exist in his cabinet, and all the porn was bought in his name?

Oh — now that he’s dead, I should say Kim Jong had a huge porn collection. I wonder if The Powers To Be let Kim’s body doubles jerk to porn?

The Horth Whithperer

Midgets

DN The Hater writes:

A guy calls his buddy, the horse rancher, and says he’s sending a friend over to look at a horse.

His buddy asks, “How will I recognize him?”

“That’s easy; he’s a midget with a speech impediment.”

So, the midget shows up, and the guy asks him if he’s looking for a male or female horse.

“A female horth.”

So he shows him a prized filly.

“Nith lookin horth. Can I thee her eyeth”?

So the guy picks up th e midget and he gives the horse’s eyes the once over.

“Nith eyeth. Can I thee her earzth”?

So he picks the little fella up again, and shows him the horse’s ears.

“Nith earth. Can I see her mouf?”

The rancher is getting pretty ticked off, but he picks him up again and shows him the horse’s mouth.

“Nith mouf. Can I see her twot?”

Totally mad as fire at this point, the rancher grabs him under his arms and rams the midget’s head as far as he can up the horse’s vagina, pulls him out and slams him on the ground.

The midget gets up sputtering and coughing.

“Perhaps I should rephrase that. Can I thee her wun awound awiddlebit?”

She’s A Smart One.

JIM KUHNHENN, of the Associated Press, calls them out:

PALIN: “I have protected the taxpayers by vetoing wasteful spending … and championed reform to end the abuses of earmark spending by Congress. I told the Congress ‘thanks but no thanks’ for that Bridge to Nowhere.”

THE FACTS: As mayor of Wasilla, Palin hired a lobbyist and traveled to Washington annually to support earmarks for the town totaling $27 million. In her two years as governor, Alaska has requested nearly $750 million in special federal spending, by far the largest per-capita request in the nation. While Palin notes she rejected plans to build a $398 million bridge from Ketchikan to an island with 50 residents and an airport, that opposition came only after the plan was ridiculed nationally as a “bridge to nowhere.”

PALIN: “There is much to like and admire about our opponent. But listening to him speak, it’s easy to forget that this is a man who has authored two memoirs but not a single major law or reform — not even in the state senate.”

THE FACTS: Compared to McCain and his two decades in the Senate, Obama does have a more meager record. But he has worked with Republicans to pass legislation that expanded efforts to intercept illegal shipments of weapons of mass destruction and to help destroy conventional weapons stockpiles. The legislation became law last year. To demean that accomplishment would be to also demean the work of Republican Sen. Richard Lugar of Indiana, a respected foreign policy voice in the Senate. In Illinois, he was the leader on two big, contentious measures in Illinois: studying racial profiling by police and requiring recordings of interrogations in potential death penalty cases. He also successfully co-sponsored major ethics reform legislation.

PALIN: “The Democratic nominee for president supports plans to raise income taxes, raise payroll taxes, raise investment income taxes, raise the death tax, raise business taxes, and increase the tax burden on the American people by hundreds of billions of dollars.”

THE FACTS: The Tax Policy Center, a think tank run jointly by the Brookings Institution and the Urban Institute, concluded that Obama’s plan would increase after-tax income for middle-income taxpayers by about 5 percent by 2012, or nearly $2,200 annually. McCain’s plan, which cuts taxes across all income levels, would raise after tax-income for middle-income taxpayers by 3 percent, the center concluded.

Obama would provide $80 billion in tax breaks, mainly for poor workers and the elderly, including tripling the Earned Income Tax Credit for minimum-wage workers and higher credits for larger families.

He also would raise income taxes, capital gains and dividend taxes on the wealthiest. He would raise payroll taxes on taxpayers with incomes above $250,000, and he would raise corporate taxes. Small businesses that make more than $250,000 a year would see taxes rise.

MCCAIN: “She’s been governor of our largest state, in charge of 20 percent of America’s energy supply … She’s responsible for 20 percent of the nation’s energy supply. I’m entertained by the comparison and I hope we can keep making that comparison that running a political campaign is somehow comparable to being the executive of the largest state in America,” he said in an interview with ABC News’ Charles Gibson.

THE FACTS: McCain’s phrasing exaggerates both claims. Palin is governor of a state that ranks second nationally in crude oil production, but she’s no more “responsible” for that resource than President Bush was when he was governor of Texas, another oil-producing state. In fact, her primary power is the ability to tax oil, which she did in concert with the Alaska Legislature. And where Alaska is the largest state in America, McCain could as easily have called it the 47th largest state — by population.

MCCAIN: “She’s the commander of the Alaska National Guard. … She has been in charge, and she has had national security as one of her primary responsibilities,” he said on ABC.

THE FACTS: While governors are in charge of their state guard units, that authority ends whenever those units are called to actual military service. When guard units are deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan, for example, they assume those duties under “federal status,” which means they report to the Defense Department, not their governors. Alaska’s national guard units have a total of about 4,200 personnel, among the smallest of state guard organizations.

FORMER ARKANSAS GOV. MIKE HUCKABEE: Palin “got more votes running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska than Joe Biden got running for president of the United States.”

THE FACTS: A whopper. Palin got 616 votes in the 1996 mayor’s election, and got 909 in her 1999 re-election race, for a total of 1,525. Biden dropped out of the race after the Iowa caucuses, but he still got 76,165 votes in 23 states and the District of Columbia where he was on the ballot during the 2008 presidential primaries.

FORMER MASSACHUSETTS GOV. MITT ROMNEY: “We need change, all right — change from a liberal Washington to a conservative Washington! We have a prescription for every American who wants change in Washington — throw out the big-government liberals, and elect John McCain and Sarah Palin.”

THE FACTS: A Back-to-the-Future moment. George W. Bush, a conservative Republican, has been president for nearly eight years. And until last year, Republicans controlled Congress. Only since January 2007 have Democrats have been in charge of the House and Senate.

Poor Amy.

Amy Winehouse

It seems like just the other day.

I was alone in my Porno Loft, working at the editing bay on a Manojob scene, when I first heard “Rehab”, and I liked that song so much I quit working on the Alexia Sky hand job movie and started blogging.

Early March, 2007.

Sirius Radio, channel 26.

“Rehab”.

But, like all new stuff, the shine eventually starts to fade, and, while I still like Amy Winehouse, well…she’s a mess. Complete and utter.

But I still love that song.

And I just read she might be brain damaged from all the dope. Well, they’re saying she may be brain damaged “after a 36 hour marijuana marathon”. She also flopped around like a fish a few nights ago, “like a scene from ‘The Exorcist.'”

(Wouldn’t it have been a laffer if, right after she spewed some pea soup during her seizure, she launched into “Rehab” — but in the Devil’s voice instead of her own — and then laughed really hard and marched out of the Emergency Room?)

This is absurd, of course. I mean about her most recent drug overdose. I don’t know why they’re mentioning the weed when they say, in the very same paragraph, she also “binged” on crystal meth.

What a joke. Weed? I don’t care if you smoke all the weed in Humbolt County…if anything fucks your brains up, it’s meth.

Weed just makes you wanna eat Oreos with an ice cold glass of skim milk, right? Even if it is in “inhuman” amounts.

Anyways, a few days after I confessed my love for Amy Winehouse, Spaceland announced a show, and as soon as I heard that, I called Faceblaster, who has an in at Spaceland, and asked for two tickets.

Which I got.

Which Winehouse canceled soon thereafter.

I was crushed. Well, not really crushed, but bummed. Kinda.

How great would it have been to catch Winehouse is a 200 seat venue? When she was still on the edge of her cliff, and hadn’t fallen yet?

I kept those tickets, though. I coulda bought them to Space Land and got my 30 clams back, but the collector in me kept them….just in case.

Just in case someday they may be worth more than the 30 bucks I shelled out for them.