The Coolest Song Ever Written: A Walk On The Wild Side

I’m in my porno loft right now, getting ready for Katie Thomas to show up for her black dicking, and I’ve got channel 913 dialed in on my cable TV. It’s the “classic” rock channel, featuring the “original architects of rock and roll.”

It’s embarrassing to admit this is the music I listen to most lately while I’m working at the loft. Want an example? Right before Reed’s brilliant piece of genius I had to endure Ted Nugent’s “Stranglehold”, but hey, “A Walk on the Wild Side” makes it all worth it.

So does ELO.

That’s right — The Motherfucking Electric Light Orchestra.

But this is about Lou Reed, who is, without a doubt, one of the most important American musicians — living or not — and his song.

Oh, that bass line!

Oh, the story Reed tells with his lyrics!

Remember — I’m saying it’s the coolest song ever written…not the best.

One of my earliest memories about popular music centers around “A Walk On The Wild Side”. I think I was 8 or 9, which is about the same time this song first hit the radio, and I was playing baseball at this kid’s house. I don’t even remember what his name was, but I know he had an older brother named “Steve”, cause as we were playing ball Steve was singing the chorus, over and over

And the colored girls go
Do, do do, Do do,
Do, do, do Do do…

when Steve’s mother suddenly appeared out of nowhere, and she screamed at him, cause she didn’t like the part about the colored girls, and for the same reason you’ve got weird memories of your childhood that seem to stick with you forever, so do I.

And this is one of them.

With this song, which will stick with me forever, too.

I’m not a big fan of the video, but hey, they gave it their best shot, and that’s saying something…

The Top Five Scenes (as of today) Featured at The Dick Suckers — Number 1, Keesha Knight

Keesha Knight

S. writes:

Where do I find more of Keesha Knight? She is gorgeous little thing. I saw her on Blowjob Races and JOMG and Dick Suckers but I wanna see her fuck. Any suggestions? Is there any sites I am missing?

S — your timing is perfect.

The day I’m gonna blog about my very favorite dick sucker on my very favorite site featuring dick suckers is the day you e-mail me about the very fine, very gorgeous little thing — Keesha Knight.

Keesha came to me via Nick Steele, an amateur guy I use from time to time.

Nick met Keesha at a meeting in which I’ll mention very little about…in fact, I won’t mention anything at all about it. Except Keesha needed work, and Nick knew me, and Keesha was down to try her hand at making dirty movies.

We met at a Starbucks, and I was totally blown away by Keesha’s look, and without skipping a beat we went from iced Venti yumminess to filming her blowing Nick Steele.

It was that easy.

Oh, I helped name her, too! Here’s how it went:

“I need a porn name,” Keesha said.

“What’s the name of the street you lived on as a kid?”

“Knight.”

“And what’s your pet’s name when you were a kid?”

“Keesha.”

“Well then, there you have it.”

Keesha Knight liked her porn name, but she didn’t like making porn very much. She managed to show up three times to the studio: once for The Dick Suckers, once for ManoJob, and once for Jizz On My Glasses.

You really wouldn’t know if she’s on JOMG cause the folks who update that site don’t think it’s too important to update the tour, but trust me, she’s in there.

And apparently, she showed up at someone else’s studio, but I can’t send traffic to Blow Job Races cause they don’t update their tour, either; hence, I have no idea if they update their member’s area.

I know JOMG updates, so I don’t mind sending you over there.

Just as quick as Keesha Knight came to me, she went away, which is how it goes in this business.

Which means, as far as I know, she didn’t fuck anyone at all on camera.

Can you blame her?

Keesha Knight

The Top Five Scenes (as of today) Featured at The Dick Suckers — Number 2, Kimmy

Spunkmouth Kimmy

This is a true story, cause all the stories I tell here are true, whether you believe them or not.

Before I figured out the whole Los Angeles porno circuit, with all the agents and pimps and pimps and agents, I was shooting in the city in which I currently reside, and I had a camera, and I had lights, and I had drive and a work ethic and all I wanted to do was make good porn and money — not in that order.

What I didn’t have was talent. As in porn stars. Or even wanna-bes. And the only thing I could think of to effectively recruit talent was to place an ad in the back of one of those weekly rags almost every city in America now has. In my town, it’s The New Times. The ad I placed in The New Times said something along the lines of “PORN STARS WANTED: MAKE MORE MONEY IN A DAY THAN MOST PEOPLE MAKE IN A WEEK.”

The first week, my phone rang off the hook. It rang every 5 minutes or so, and each and every caller was some dude wanting to be The Next Peter North. Or The Next John Holmes.

Whatever.

But I did need male talent, so I picked the least creepiest of all the dudes that called, and I met him at a Starbucks, cause there’s nothing quite like a Venti Iced Soy Caramel Macciato on a breezy afternoon.

He wasn’t creepy at all, and — get this — he knew a girl that would perform in front of a camera. And not just any girl. A cute one! That went to community college! She was 19, too…a barely-legal!

Kimmy.

Who I’ve blogged about more than once here. Come to think of it, I think I’ve blogged this story in some shape or form, but hey, gimme a break; as of this writing, I’m up to 434 blog entries, and really, my life isn’t all that interesting. Certainly not as interesting as yours, and I mean that sincerely.

In other words, I’m bound to repeat myself.

Kimmy! Oh, Kimmy! You naughty, naughty girl!! Coming over to blow various dudes for pay while all the time your boyfriend thought you were sitting in English class. And the cum shots you took were second to none! And you took them, right in the kisser, smiling the whole time and loving every minute of it: Spunkmoth and JOMG and Blacks on Blondes and Gloryholes, too!

But wait a sec. This is all about The Dick Suckers, right?

And Kimmy, too, who’s decided that making dirty movies isn’t for her, so she’s moved on to more lucrative activities.

Spunkmouth Kimmy

The Top Five Scenes (as of today) Featured at The Dick Suckers — Number 3, Kacey Jordan

Kacey Jordan

The third best scene on what’s shaping up to be a phenomenal BJ site features Miss Kacey Jordan.

And yea, that last sentence is a shameless plug, because:

1) I own TheDickSuckers.

and

2) I refer to TheDickSuckers as a site that’s “shaping up to be phenomenal”.

But it’s OK to have a little self-confidence, right?

I’m just trying to shoot the cutest girls possible while they blow a whole bunch of dick. If they’re brand new to the biz, then that’s even better. So let’s talk about Kacey Jordan and her very first time performing a naughty, dirty, slutty act on film. That’s right, I caught her fresh off the bus from the Pacific Northwest, where she used to work at a tanning salon.

Did I mention she likes to bang married dudes cause “it’s not right”?

I think those were the words she used, but I can’t remember now.

OK, I’ll admit a simple BJ scene might get a little boring, so I decided to spice it up a bit. Personally, I love to watch women have real orgasms, and if I think, for one second, that they’re faking it, well…like Johnny Rotten said at the last great Sex Pistols show, “Do you ever felt like you’ve been cheated?”

But what could I buy that would virtually guarantee the female talent’s orgasm?

Enter The Hitachi Magic Wand Massager

Fellahs — if you wanna watch your lady cum and cum and cum, and you possess the kind of self-confidence that allows you to witness this miracle without anything coming from your end, buy one of these right now.

Ladies — if you wanna cum and cum and cum and don’t give a shit whether or not a dude is responsible for the multiple orgasms this fun toy will provide, buy one of these right now.

And Amazon even sells them!

Do I need to tell you how hot it was watching Kacey Jordan cum a whole bunch on set, first before she started dick sucking, and then afterward?

She came and came and came and came.

Four times.

Then, with a load dripping from her chin, she came again.

After it was all said and done, and I handed Kacey her check, I asked her if she liked her new job.

She looked at her check, and she looked at me, and she said something like, “it would have taken me a week at the tanning salon to make this much, and all I did was suck some dick and have a bunch of orgasms. How do you think I like my job?

Kacey Jordan

The Top Five Scenes (as of today) Featured at The Dick Suckers — Number 4, Anna Von Trapp

Anna Von Trap

There’s nothing quite as special as a porno newbie, and that’s exactly what Anna Von Trap is…a total Porn Newb.

How about I one-up that statement?

There’s nothing quite as special as a porno newbie who has no intentions whatsoever of ever becoming The Next Jenna; and, in fact, Porn Newb is simply a college girl who doesn’t want to take out an emergency student loan but needs a little fast cash.

Enter Dick Sucker #70: Anna Von Trap.

I don’t recall how she got my number, or if I got hers, and I really don’t remember the conversation when we met, and then continued as we headed over to the secret Dick Suckers Studios, but it went something like this:

“Hi, I’m (real name deleted here in Anna’s best interest) and I’d like to work for you.”

I tell her how it all goes down.

“That’s cool! Well, if you’re OK with what I’m wearing now, wanna just go do this?”

I tell her absolutely.

“Who am I blowing?”

I ask her if that really matters.

“Just as long as my boyfriend doesn’t find out, then no.”

I tell her that once she does this, there is a chance that her boyfriend will discover her horrible, dirty secret, but I also remind her there’s hundreds of thousands of dirty websites, and the chances of her boyfriend discovering anything will be pretty remote, especially since he doesn’t know her stage name. I also tell her the best way to get caught is to go out this weekend with her very best friend, the one she can confide in most…the one she totally and completely trusts…the one she’d know with absolute certainty would never sell her out. Then, you’ll get a little tipsy with her, and it’s then you’ll tell her your dirty little secret, and it will be within 24 hours from that very moment that everyone — certainly all your other friends, as well as (quite possibly) your family — will also know your dirty little secret.

“Um…OK. What’s my porno name gonna be? I hear it’s always your pet’s name and the street you lived on.”

I tell her that’s totally gay, but she looks Swedish, or Scandavian, or something along those lines. “Wasn’t that family that sang a whole bunch during World War Two living up in them parts of the world?”

She asked, “You’re talking about The Sound of Music? You mean the Von Traps?”

“Congratulations. You’re now Anna.”

“I don’t think there was a sister named Anna.”

“Good! I won’t be sued then.”

So we went to the studio, and Anna Von Trapp got nude and sucked a whole bunch of dick, and the scene turned out great.

But there’s 3 more I like better, which isn’t anything against Anna Von Trapp.

Not one bit.

[Afterward: Anna and her boyfriend are still together, and now she won’t shoot anything beyond nudes and solo scenes…but that didn’t stop me from talking to her about Manojob.]

Anna Von Trap

your 33 black angels

Serena Taylor

I’m a geek boy when it comes to shit issued in a limited edition. Always have been. Anything, almost, with the exception of Hummel plates, coins and stamps, and anything sports related…all of which I loathe in unfathomable ways.

Books and records? When I see a book or record printed in a limited edition, I’m like a monkey at the zoo, beating my bright red wiener for all to see.

I picked up a Rolling Stone last month and read David Fricke’s take on Your 33 Black Angels. I’m not a huge David Frick fan, but I’m a huge VU fan, and yes, even a bigger fan of all things Limited Edition, so when I read the record was printed in a numbered vinyl-only edition of 250, I immediately got myself over to y33ba’s myspace to see if I could scoop up a few.

David Fricke said he got copy #19.

I got copies #244, #180, and another copy, the number I know not, cause I gave it to my little bro for his collection.

I squealed like a little girl, too, when I saw one of my 3 copies had a completely different color scheme on it than the other two. It’s #244, which means they were probably getting a little nutty with the silk screen inks at the end of their print run.

And now you can’t get any copies of the vinyl, cause it’s sold out, but if you go to their myspace, you can pick up a CD, which is a good thing, cause you don’t listen to records anymore, anyways.

But none of that really matters if the music doesn’t matter, right?

Fricke mentions The Strokes and Pavement. Others say Lou Reed and The Velvets. Sometimes I think I hear Dinosaur Jr.

But I’m still on side one, but going into listen #3, and while I ain’t no music critic, I know what I like, and I’m really into Lonely Street a whole bunch.

Which means you’ll probably hate them; which means I’m coming off like a snob; which means you’ll just have to go to their site and pick up a copy and see for yourself.

Then, after you’re as convinced as I am about y33ba, you’ll tell everyone you know about them, and you’ll brag about discovering them first, and someday you’ll brag about seeing them in some small club before they got huge, which is, of course, all the right things to do whenever it comes to being a complete and utter snob about music.

Interview with a Porn Star (#33) — Lena Hawkins

Lena Hawkins

I Shoot Porn: A porno newbie! I love it! Tell everyone something about Lena Hawkins.

Lena Hawkins: Um, I’m from Corsicana, Texas, but I just moved to Dallas. That’s where I started escorting. Actually, I moved to Dallas to become an escort.

ISP: Wait a sec! You’re an escort?

LH: That’s right. I even have my own website.

ISP: So you’re OK talking about being an escort?

LH: Uh huh!

ISP: So what’s an hour of your time worth?

LH: $300.

ISP: And for that, I get?

LH: You get to have fun with me. Whatever you want. If you want sex, you only get to cum once. If you want multiple pops, it’ll cost 200 more.

ISP: What’s your average call like?

LH: An hour. They all want sex.

ISP: Do you ever get lonely hearts that just wanna talk?

LH: That’s boring, but…if they’re paying for it, I’ll talk to them.

ISP: What’s your limits?

LH: I don’t do anal, and I don’t bareback, and a lot of guys don’t like it, but oh well.

ISP: Are you GFE?

LH: No. I don’t consider myself GFE.

ISP: So there’s no kissing you?

LH: No, I’m clean.

ISP: Wait a sec. So kissing is dirty?

LH: If they’re out there kissing everyone else, then yea, to me it’s dirty.

ISP: What’s the most you ever made on a call?

LH: I’d say $1700 on one call.

ISP: What’s involved with a $1700 call?

LH: Just sex. For like, 5 hours. We talked, too, so mostly talking and fucking. Oh, and we ate.

ISP: Where did Mr. Big take you to dinner?

LH: Chick Filet. Kinda like McDonald’s. Do they have those around here?

ISP: Nope, but I guess after dropping $1700 on you that’s all he could afford.

LH: (Laughs)

ISP: How do you like porno so far?

LH: I love it. I think it’s fun.

ISP: Besides the camera rolling, what’s the difference between porn and escorting?

LH: Just that people get to watch the porn.

ISP: Dumb question, huh? How many scenes have you done so far?

LH: Seven so far. Three B/G’s, a G/G, and a solo. Oh, and I just gave a manojob!

ISP: You certainly did. And you’re about to become a DickSucker!

LH: I love giving blowjobs. It’s my favorite thing to do!

ISP: If I want to hire you for a BJ off camera, what’s that gonna set me back?

LH: (Laughs) Like…$300.

ISP: Can I cum in your mouth?

LH: Yes, of course!

ISP: So you let customers cum in your mouth?

LH: Oh no! But I’d let you. I’ve seen your test.

ISP: Indeed you have. I’m clean clean clean! Would you take $175 for the BJ?

LH: (Laughs) Hell ya! I love giving head…let’s go!

Lena Hawkins

Today’s Guest Blogger: The Minion (and His Final Chico Chronicle)

The Minion

From time to time I have guests blog whatever it is they feel like blogging. I will not tell them what to blog; I won’t edit it; I won’t influence the Guest Blogger in any way.

The Minion’s final chapter dealing with Chico Wang, as well as a whole cast of Porno Characters.

Ricky was brought on board. He’s a few years younger than I am but he has tons of experience as far as web work was concerned. Ricky eventually showed me how to update the Anabolic and Diabolic paysites. No longer did I need Chico to do it, I was now doing it with no restrictions.

Ricky, Chico, Tony, and I made Boogie Nights 3.0 our command post. It was a nice house with a guest house located in Northridge. Chico decided to go full steam ahead with “Minion” Scenes. He would shoot a girl for a Diabolic Video and that same day she would be stuffing food in my face as well as slap me around. Sometimes the girls would say,”Honey, I can’t be mean to you!”. I would inevitably (in character) belittle them to the point where they’d want to kill me.

The Summer of 2004 came and went. The Northridge house was a mess simply from my scenes alone. The infamous “yellow couch” was a shell of its former self. During this time Ricky would come by and pick up camera. He’d shoot some of my scenes which was
a relief since performing while Chico was shooting intimidated the hell out of me. We eventually moved location to a house off of Ventura Blvd but the insanity never stopped.

Chico and the crew went to the Avn show in 2005. I stayed behind but Chico eventually asked me to come along. Chico also had a dog named CAINE but nobody to watch Caine. He wanted me to put the dog in the garage with several cans of dog food for the few days we’d be away. I thought this was an unusual demand but I followed through with it. Johnny Fender and I loaded up his van and made our way to Vegas.

Once there I met up with Chico, who was drunk off his ass, as well as the owenr of blacksonblondes.com and several of his web guys. They were all really cool even when Wanker in his drunken state said, “Hey, look at this fat fuck!”. The next day Chico, still drunk, wanted me to find him a hooker for himself and a friend for $200. He was his usual asshole self when drunk and made it seem like failure was not an option. I made my venture eventually to find an escort who ended up fucking me in her hotel room for $300.

I went back to the San Fernando Valley to find that Caine was missing. Apparently a neighbor called animal control and Caine was taken away. Our dog had been arrested and was doing time in jail just like his owner. Wanker found out about it, blamed me, and belittled me for it. I had enough, once again I was out of there. Luckily Tony T was shooting for Anabolic and needed a PA and hired me, for that I’ll always be thankful. He got extra money in my pocket and it was a big relief. However, his shoots were at Chico’s house and I could not avoid Wang and vice versa. Gone were the days of getting my balls drained. If I wanted pussy I would have to go out and acquire it like every schmuck out there.

A few weeks later Chico brought me back in and things were ok until the big falling out. Tony and Chico were really close. Chico would book Tony for shoots and Tony gave nothing less than a phenomenal showing. Of course like a friendship there was ribbing. Chico would be heard yelling (in his Tony impersonation) “Yeah, Ma!” or “You lookin’ heavy, ma!”

Tony would smile and think not much of it. One night Chico sat down in our office and had a chat with me about Tony. “Tony went through my emails and he’s a dead man.” I was not looking forward to the drama that was going to hit. I thought it wouldn’t get worse than a lot of shit talking but I was proven wrong when a few months later I was fired again after having 2 guns pointed at my head. Chico and Tony were now at war.

Everyone took sides: Tony was sided with Ron and his sister, Anabolic Director SU. Ricky D and John-O sided with Chico as I obviously did. Words were thrown at both sides. Chico was supposed to be doing a site for Tony.Chico was so annoyed that he deleted Tony’s site right in front of me. He had backups of the content which he had me deliver to Tony. Since Tony was Chico’s enemy it only made sense that he was mine. After all, he pissed off the guy who signed my checks.

One day Chico was shooting and Ron and his sister came by. Chico made a remark to Ron that didn’t go over well. Ron shoved or punched a drunk Chico against the door. At that moment I realized Chico wasn’t as invincible as he claimed to be. He was mortal after all.

Around that time we decided to do a website mocking Tony. I was to wear a wig, act Arabic, and mock him to no end. I was going to get head from chicks while snorting. (In actuality it was sugar and a bad idea).

One scenario had me, as “Phony T.” pray to Allah right before getting my cock blown. I also wore an army jacket, had a canteen, a knife, and made absolutely no sense. In one instance (as Phony T) I yelled at a girl for having a huge blowjob rate. It went like this A couch in Chico’s house.

The constant bickering spilled into April of that same year. We were now in a house that was a mile or so from the Anabolic/Diabolic offices. Girls kept coming by to blow and/or fuck me and Chico would shoot camera as usual. He would shoot nonstop for either Diabolic or my site which I believed was going to launch. Girls like Holly Welling, Tory Lane, and Delilah Strong all
were shot for my site.

One day Chico wanted me at that house at 10am and we’d drive together to the Anabolic Office. He was in his room/office doing web work and I was in the den watching a movie on his flat screen tv.All of a sudden 2 guys came in with their guns already drawn.They told me to get on my stomach on the floor.They tied me up and placed a blanket over me.They then called on a third guy to come in. One of the cocksuckers then kicked me in the ribs but it didn’t hurt. The bitch kicked like…….well, like a bitch. At that point I made my peace with G-d because I believed that at any minute I was going to be dead.

They brought Chico in the room where they had him open up a safe. They robbed the place of all electrical equipment: computers, cameras, tv, etc. After they left Chico untied me and the cops were called. We speculated on who could have been behind the robbery. So many people had been burned by Chico that it made a list of suspects a mile long. To this day the crime hasn’t been solved and nor do I care. I made it out alive and karma will get those pieces of shit.

Chico and I had been spooked. About a week or so later he took off for Hawaii with Chanel Chavez. They were gone for a few days and he returned with her. At that point Manuel Laybor and I had tickets to go to the East Coast for a few wrestling shows. Around mid to late May Chico decided to disappear. I didn’t know where he was and people constantly asked about his whereabouts. I had no money to go with on my trip. I was fucking livid! How could he skip town and not pay me? I was doing his job at the office except for shooting video.

He ended up calling me because he needed furniture moved out of his apartment. I got to see him in person and I got paid. Yes!

Things changes when I got back. Tony and him still had beef. Chico would post online that Tony was a “terrorist” amongst other things. I felt as if they would kill each other if they were in the same room. It was now July and Ricky and Tony squashed the beef
which infuriated Chico to no end. If you weren’t with Chico then you were against him, at least that was his mentality. I also ended up squashing the beef with Tony when Chico decided to disappear yet again.

Tony was cool with me and Chico eventually came back to shoot full time. One night in early August Chico was shooting a scene in a hotel room. He got drunk, yelled at me, and fired me for patching things up with Tony. I left the hotel cursing him as I drove home, again unemployed.

During that time Ricky hired me a few times to be his PA. He was shooting for Diabolic and he paid me a very generous amount considering the time I was putting in. Again, Chico and I patched things up and I came back. His drinking got worse and one night he went ape shit on me. He had several drinks in his system and I seriously considered going back to school. It was not worth the aggravation but the paycheck made me put principles on the back burner.

Months went by and he was drinking like it was going out of style. Morning after morning I’d come in and he’d say,”Doron, I’m never drinking again.”

I would laugh and brush it off. Hours later I would be on the way to the store to get yet another 18 pack of Bud Light. I have to mention that there were points in which Chico showed genuine concern for me. If I needed to crash at a hotel he would offer to pay for it. I never took him up on those offers but he did pay for lunch 9 times out of 10. He would also pay for my AIM tests as well as my prescription for Levitra.

In January there was an incident in where the dog we were watching, Anabolic’s Princess and Chris Alexander’s dog Princess, went nuts on a neighbors dog nearly killing it. I required several stiches on my hand and Chico sent me a text message ordering me to put the dog down. A few hours later Princess was no more. I was fired for it and rightfully so. I was out of a job…….again

I got a part-time job doing plumbing work. A few months went by when Chico called me. He had heard that I was going through a depression via Manuel Laybor. Our phone call was pleasant. A few days later he had me come by the house and I volunteered to pop in Sasha Knox’s mouth. It was also at that time that I found out he had another guy, Hung Lo.

At first I felt intimidated knowing I’d be working with someone with a clean slate as far as working for Chico went. Hung Lo also got his share of heat from Chico at various times although it didn’t happen often. Chico had super editor, Curt, editing from Chico’s house. I was able to sit in with Curt and watch him do his magic. I even got assistant editor credit on a few Diabolic movies.

At this time Chico was dating Hailey Paige. My first impression of her was that she was sweet, caring, and in love with Chico.They were gaga over each other. He spoke highly of her even calling her his “bebe.” I felt as if he would have a bright future with her unlike the craziness he went through with Kara Bare and other forgettable porn chicks.

Hailey kept to herself and didn’t really socialize. She would do her job, go home, and pretty much that was the way it was. He would brag to me, in a kidding manner, about their sexual adventures. “Hey Doron, after I fuck Hailey she makes me spaghetti,” was something Chico would blurt out. It was all in jest and I didn’t think much of it. At this time I was chalking up major camera experience via shooting behind the scenes.

I truly miss Hailey and I truly believe she was born in the wrong century. What I mean by that is she was too good for this world. She had demons and it appears she couldn’t shake them loose. In the entire time I was around her she never bad-mouther a single person and she was an angel. Hailey, I love you and we’ll meet up again one day.

I went to work for Tony T and Original Entertainment in August of 2006 as their Production Manager. Chico was supposed to be brought on board as a Director but as usual, he backed out leaving Ron E. and Tony upset. We launched an internet division.Things didn’t work out and in January of this year I was the content manager for a web company in 2007.

As usual, I left that place due to “we’re holding off on production”. Thankfully I was bouncing at a club and that kept my head above water. One day in March of this year I got a call from Chico and he sounded irate at different people in the business. “Sasha did this……fuck this guy, fuck them, I’m leaving Diabolic, I’m doing the net now, etc.”

He inquired if I’d come back so we could launch the minion site as well as edit his other content. I said yes and things looked bright. We spoke on the phone a few times until we met one morning at Twain’s Diner in Studio City. He looked emotionally drained and we spoke of what the future held. The time period was set: I was to come back in early June.

My first day back was at Chico’s favorite Korean restaurant on Topanga Canyon. Hung Lo was being made fun of because his dog allegedly shit all over Chico’s house. We went to Home Depot to get a carpet cleaner. We cleaned the house, Chico had me shoot a chick in a solo scene, and my Minion site looked to be a reality.

He was going to shoot them in High Definition and I was to edit them. He said I’d get $500 a week plus 25% of the site. After all this time I was going to start making great money. About 2 weeks later Chico would be back in jail and his ugly past would surface.

Chico claimed that he found out that Hailey was back on drugs. His tone and manner were erratic and it was a side of him I had never seen. He wanted to book her in a scene and have her humiliated. He snapped at me when I told him to reconsider. A week or so passed and I was shooting the solos for him. He was entertaining offers from internet companies……from what he told me.

He also complained about Hung Lo to me. He went off on him to me saying shit that didn’t make sense. Hung Lo has always been a good guy and always had Chico’s back. For Chico to shit talk him and kick him out of the house was uncalled for but after, this was
Chico Wang.

Then the fateful morning came. It was a Friday morning and my cell phone rang. Hung Lo said Chico was arrested and I thought it was a D.U.I like it had been years earlier. The report was that Chico pistol-whipped Hailey and kidnapped her. Hung Lo and I got a bail bondsman and went to the jail that same morning. I wasn’t allowed to speak to him since you only get a certain amount of visitors a day.

He told Hung Lo to tell me to go to the apartment of the alleged pistol whipping and make sure Hailey and her mother weren’t moving out any of Chico’s stuff. I did as I was told and Hailey’s mother called the investigating officer to inform him that I was there. I was told to remain outside and not interfere with their moving. No problem. I noticed that Hailey was wearing short shorts and there weren’t any marks or bruises that I could make out. After 4 hours they were gone, I left the apartment to go to my night job, and the shit was about to hit the fan.

It was a matter of days before Chico’s incident with Hailey made the porn gossip pages. A few days after that his sentencing transcript made it online. Honestly, it was a difficult read in that it showed that the guy I was working on and off for was a
woman abuser. The transcript painted a picture of a guy who would one day be my boss.

I would never see Chico again. There was to be no internet site.There was to be nothing like that. The moments his past came up and the news of Hailey surfaced I knew his time in porn was done. I would get the constant, “Where’s Chico?” Weeks turned into months and rumors of Hailey’s death poured in. Not long after that Chico was found dead in a hotel room. I’m still in shock.

I have written all this as a sort of therapy. Chico, for better or worse, was a major part of my life for the last few years. I thank him for bringing me into this crazy business. I thank him for making me much more computer savy. I thank him for introducing me to
some of the best people I know: Curt aka Cal444, Brian Surewood, Steve Holmes, John Strong,Tony T, Ricky D, Hung Lo aka Tian D, Gia Paloma, Taryn Thomas (hi gorgeous), Will Powers, Johnny Fender, Faceblaster, and Billy Watson, for whom I now work.

The yells of “Let’s get hammered” and “Giddyup, kid!” I will forever be branded into my head. The girls he brought in to party with me will be on my “fuck list” forever..wow, that sounded fucking lame!

Chico, I’m sorry you felt the need to beat that woman up 10 years ago. However, I guess she forgave you so that means I can as well for the torment. We’ll meet up one day soon……………nekka!

The Top Five Scenes (as of today) Featured at The Dick Suckers — Number 5, Miss Serena Taylor

Serena Taylor

Wanna start a dirty website?

Seems these days everyone wants one.

The business model is easy: solicit the potential member with free samples, get them to join with an outstanding sales pitch, and keep them happy so every month they don’t want to leave your website. It’s the same business model your health club used to get you to join. Or, that book club you joined. You get the picture.

Then, ask for help! Hire people to sell your site and give them a percentage of the sale…or, just a flat referral fee if the person they send to your business actually buys something. Kinda like Amway does…or used to do. Cause I dunno if Amway’s still around.

That’s it! Really. Simple, right?

In my business, I want to sell the very best masturbatory aids available. That’s what I sell. Material to help dudes beat off. That’s it. Cause let’s face it, your girlfriend, bless her heart, had a great pussy when you first met her, but it’s been a few years now, and that special something has kinda worn off. And your wife, bless her heart, quit caring about satisfying your libido about a day (or so) after you two said your vows.

I sell material to help dudes whack their wiener.

Cause that’s porn’s sole function: it ain’t art, and it ain’t a feature movie; forget about plot, and characterization, and all that silly stuff. Gimme a hot chick doing something really wrong, make sure I’m all alone and no one’s expected home for a while, and a ball sac full of jizz, and I’m good to go.

The Dick Suckers is a mighty fine example of the wares I’m offering. Who doesn’t like to see a girl stick a dick in her mouth and bob her head back and forth a whole bunch until the dude can’t hold it anymore, hence, losing his load. At The Dick Suckers, I direct the dudes to shoot in right in her face, cause it’s so wrong and degrading and hot all at the same time.

I kept it simple, too. No fancy names, no silly scenearios. They’re dick suckers, so we called the site TheDickSuckers, and all we do is slap a number on a scene and keep ’em flowing to the members as fast as we can.

We’re closing in on 100 dick suckers featured in the members’ area of the site, and in my opinion the 5th best of all of them is Serena Taylor — here’s some free Serena Taylor blowjob movies to prove, once again, that I’m right.

Serena Taylor

Serena Taylor was a stripper who took out a Sexy Jobs ad a couple of years ago. I contacted Miss Taylor as soon as I read her ad, and we had a nice conversation. My only problem with Serena was her price. She was an expensive scene, and Serena didn’t care whether or not anyone paid her rate.

I admire her for that.

She stuck to her guns through our negotiations, so I decided to cough up the extra dough to hire her. I’m glad I did. She sucked cock like it was an Olympic event and she was going for The Gold. The result? A monster load right to the side of her head, all the time talking like a dirty tramp.

When I shoot my scenes I direct the male talent to keep their mouths shut. Who wants to hear silly jokes and worthless banter? Let the girl talk right to the camera, which means she’s talking right to my members, and they love every second of it.

Makes them lose their load.

Makes them a happy camper.

All I want to be is a successful businessman while spreading joy and stress relief all over our fine land — and, come to think about it more, all over the world…cause now I’ve got members from other, far-away lands.

Which makes me an internationally known film director!

A spreader of joy and stress relief!!

I’ve received e-mails testifying that my movies have helped salvage failed relationships!!!

I should win a Nobel Peace Prize.

And you thought I was nothing more than a dirty pervert scumbag pornographer.